I'm Baack

I'm back from my vacation in Las Vegas and work trip to the Olympics. I am tired, have a cold, and generally feel like a loser (thanks mainly to the video poker slots in Vegas). But all in all, it was a good trip. Jenny and Aaron did a stellar job taking care of Grizzy and Punky. Apparently Grizzy got vacuumed every day (he LOVES it) but, alas, he won't get the same treatment at home. But that's what grandparents are for, spoiling. Heh, heh.

The highlight of my trip? Yes, believe it or not, a small bit of luck. Hubby spotted Steve Young walking behind us on the street in Salt Lake City. I got my picture with him (thanks to my coworker Tom who insisted on asking), and chatted with him for a few moments. I think he might have thought I was about 12 years old, but hey, whatever works. As he called to his wife and walked off, I considered calling to him, "hey, need another wife?" but in light of the fact that his current wife is ten times better looking than me, I quickly realized that I would be the ugly, cookin' & cleanin' wife, so I scratched that idea.

Jamba Justice

I emailed Jamba Juice today... here's what I said:

"The family vacation was planned. We were going to Las Vegas. I'd been there many times and even lived there for a while, so my excitement was absent. That was UNTIL I checked the Jamba Juice website (I am a Jamba addict who lives in a city FAR from any locations) and saw that there were a few in Vegas.

Thrill set in and I couldn't wait to get off the plane and have my first Orange-a-Peel in 7 months.

Shortly after arriving, I checked the phone book and called. Disconnected. Panic set in. Then, after calling directory assistance, my worst fears are realized... my hopes dashed... they've all been closed.

I can forgive you for closing the stores, I assume business was not up to par (which is beyond my comprehension), but I cannot forgive you for not updating your web site. It is unforgivable and I am still recovering from the wounds.

Please make every effort to keep your web site up to date so no one else has to suffer like me.

And to add insult to injury, I left Las Vegas for Park City, Utah... again with hopes up to visit the Jamba Juice I had frequented every day of my one week visit last year, only to find the sign gone and the windows papered over.

I did finally find salvation on 400 Street in Salt Lake City, but it's been a long hard road.

Sincerely,
an addict who wished you'd open a store in Rochester, NY"

They better send me a case of Jamba Juice in a little cooler like the one Jenny got from Dean & Deluca.

I'm ALIVE

FINALLY, internet access! I've been lost. Anyhoo, quick quick update. Done with Vegas, could have done without Vegas. Very much enjoyed visiting my brother though. Ate at waaay too many buffets. We're not talking normal buffets where you have a few items to choose from... we're talking buffets where you leave your wagon at the door only to have it hijacked by circus performers and not returned for weeks. Choices of food from every type... American, Mexican, Italian, Chinese, BBQ, shakes, and the dessert selections, they're enough to send a diabetic into shock just LOOKING at them.

Anyhoo, I'm fatter and now in Salt Lake. Trying to get all my credentials straightened out as I am currently a peon's peon.

I'm hoping that Grizzy and Punky are not driving Jenny and Aaron insane.

Gotta go.

Hip Hotels + Cool Toiletries = Frustration

Ok, I'm up late. Can't sleep. Mind racing. Looking up hotel rates for Vegas and LA as the timeshare ends on the 16th but we're in Vegas til the 18th. Most likely will stay with my brother, but it's tempting to see about staying at The Hard Rock Hotel, The Venetian, The Palms, The Bellagio... along with fantasies of driving to LA and staying at one of the many hip hotels with cool, contemporary design (even 5 star hotels in Vegas have cheesy decor)... hotels like The Mondrian... I've stayed there once before, it is the epitomy of high design, but unfortunately, it costs big bucks to be hip... or Maison 140 in Beverly Hills which offers Philosophy toiletries and is actually reasonably priced... or it's sister hotel, The Avalon, which has a special Avalon Chillout Package for $199 per night where you get the Chillout Session cd from Ministry of Sound, a bottle champagne and a 50 minute massage in your room. May not be able to pass that one up...

** rant ** I want to be able to look up hotels by what toiletries they offer or by what type of interior design they have. Why is this so f*in difficult? You'd think hiphotels.net would have good info, right? NOPE. They don't even list The Mondrian. UGH. And if a hotel has Kiehl's toiletries (like 15 Beacon in Boston), that's something that would sway my decision. I hate that Bath & Body Works Juniper Breeze sh*t. It smells gross! ** rant over **

My searchings did lead me to this cool website, Splendora.com, to find out the best places to get pamered in NY and LA.

I think I see a market for a website! I'd be able to write off all my travels and stays. JACKPOT. Gonna have to look into that when I get back home.

Get Your Love On

So in checking up on my email, I had a nice little mailer from Skinmarket, one of my very favorite stores, which I WILL be patronizing while in Vegas. They have a new sugar body scrub. I've used the brown sugar body scrub in "Deliciousness" and it is just so yummy I want to lick myself (on the arm, perverts). They now have "love is: smooth" pomegranate sugar scrub. Gonna get me some of that.

Olympic Dreams

As it gets closer to the opening of the Olympics, more and more people are realizing that I'm gonna be there... so the requests are rolling in.

Joel wants an olympic snowglobe for Hannah.



Michael (my brother-in-law) wants an olympic team hockey jersey.



And Squib wants Powder (the love hearts bribe is an offer I can't refuse):



May I add that I am giving mad props to whoever came up with the mascots for Salt Lake 2002. They are the cutest mascots ever!!!

Don't Go in The Water

Just this weekend, Jenny was pondering if Will & Grace was about the "jump the shark" by having Matt Damon on as a guest star. I made her explain the term "jump the shark" as I wasn't sure the meaning. She explained that it is the point at which a tv show does some crazy stunt to get ratings and after that point, the show goes into the toilet and eventually gets cancelled. The term was coined based on the Happy Days episode where Fonzie jumped the shark. (SIDE NOTE: I had the BIGGEST crush on Richie - Ron Howard... long before he went bald... yep, had a thing for red hair and freckles back then)

Anyhoo, today I happened upon a website all about Jumping the shark - www.jumptheshark.com.

The best part about it, you get to vote when you think a show jumped the shark.

Drink Me

Taking Daniela's lead, I checked to see what drink I am...



Which drink are you?

I LIKEY IKEA

Headin' to IKEA tomorrow. Very excited. Want to buy stuff. Want buy stuff to organize my stuff. Need places to put my stuff. Jenny's gonna shop for stuff for her new house, I'll help.

My one concern... will Chuck go the extra hour to Toronto so I can buy Love Hearts at SugarMountain? It's a tough sell, I might have to highjack the Blazer and drive myself. Hey, you do whatever it takes to feed an addiction.

REMINDER TO SELF: Don't eat the swedish meatballs - last time they tasted good going down, but not so good coming back up for the next 12 hours.

I've got Bawls

A bunch of us went out tonight, it was a great time. After dinner and Movies on a Shoestring, we went to The Spot Coffee shop. I got a bottle of Bawls. I bought it for two reasons - 1) the bottle is really cool looking and 2) the soda is made from guarana, a small fruit found in Brasil. I had diet guarana soda while in Brasil and liked it alot as I'd normally rather drink puddle water than diet soda.

What I didn't realize, when making the purchase at 10:30pm, is that it's a caffeine drink... you know, where they add a sh*tload of caffeine supposedly for "maintaining peak performance". "BAWLS Guarana is a light and refreshing beverage that gives an exhilarating boost". I drank about a third, it is light and refreshing... and the "exhilarating boost" explains the 12:45am blog, but if I'd have drank it all, I'd be watching the sun rise.

Itty Bitty Elephants

I found an article on the web (apparently from Weekly World News) that claims some Russian scientist found a way to splice mouse genes into elephant genes and create tiny elephants. And they're all the rage in California at only $350.

The article says they "provide hours of fun with hilarious antics such as:
- Butting their little heads in fights.
- Letting out squeaky "roars."
- Using their trunks to pick up pennies, pins and matchsticks.
- Stampeding in panic from "threats" such as vacuum cleaners."

Dr.Muskovic says they should be available nationwide by spring and predicts "every little boy and girl in America is going to want one."

I know it's a load of crap, but I WANT ONE!!!

More Bad Male Prostitute Names

All inspired by food:
Puddin'
Jello
Soft Serve
Slim Jim (credit: Jenny)

Well Hello Big Mac!

While helping Jenny at her new house last night - munching on Wendy's takeout - the topic came up about the male brothel in England that had closed down. Apparently, the men weren't asking for payment up front, so when it came time to fork over cash, the women would only pay what they thought the men were worth. Thus driving the brothel to bankruptcy.

From there, inspired by the mention of the word "tiny" and in turn, the "BIGGIE" french fry box, we ended up coming up with nicknames you would NOT want if you worked in a male brothel and nicknames you WOULD want if you worked in a male brothel.

Nicknames you would NOT want if you worked in a male brothel:
- Tiny
- Stubby
- Pee Wee

Nicknames you WOULD want if you worked in a male brothel:
- Mr. Big
- Biggie
- Big Mac
- Whopper
- Chalupa
- Snake (inspired by the topic of fixing the drain)

Basically, the whole fast food ordering system would probably work well for a male brothel. The women could drive up and say, "I'd like a Whopper meal and please super-size it."

FBPOTM

My favorite beauty product of the moment is my Shu Uemura eyelash curler. I got it for Christmas from my brother and sister-in-law. It got me stopped by airport security, but it was well worth it. It's a great little tool, every girl should have one.

That Cat Hates Moby

Tonight I read in Rolling Stone that Moby had to be hospitalized after being bitten by a stray cat he tried to pet. I sent him the link to mycathatesyou.com. Obviously, the cat that bit him hates him and his music*.

*the opinions expressed by hateful cats in no way reflect the opinions of the owner of this blog

My Cat Hates You

Natalie posted the link to this website, mycathatesyou.com. I think it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Here's an example of what you'll find:


"Louie hates you to the core. Not even cute stuffed animals escape his wrath..."

Nutty Diet Plan

Peanut butter is a hot topic recently. First I read about peanut butter slices, then I read about research that shows that eating peanut butter can help you lose weight AND lower your cholesterol!

I think it works because you feel more satiated and full. Even the men's magazines are talking about it (side note: the fact that Men's magazines discuss diet issues is both disturbing and deeply rewarding at the same time).

There's a woman's version of the diet on iVillage, though it includes other stuff like olive oil and peanut oil. Not quite the "eat a tablespoon full of peanut butter on top of a miniature chocolate bar" diet that I was hoping for, oh well.

All I know is, I'll be having pb&j (that's reduced fat peanut butter on light wheat bread with a teaspoon of jelly) every day until my clothes fit comfortably again.

There's also a book, The Peanut Butter Diet (of course) available on Amazon..

Funny Girl

One example of why Jenny is so funny... In a discussion about having judges for our food contests we do at work (for example, Cookiepalooza), Jenny was making the argument for allowing everyone to vote on a winner vs. having designated judges. Here's what she said, in a matter of fact tone:

"Let's say you have three judges and two of them don't like nuts - you're little nut cookies are screwed!"

Focus, Focus, Focus

I'm having the same problem as Joel, I'm having trouble focusing on work.

I will have been gone 5.5 of the first 10 weeks of the year. Brasil took up two and soon I'm off to Vegas (for vacation) and Salt Lake City (for work). Then, after being home for 4 days, I head to Orlando for a kiosk convention. I know it all sounds great, but let me weigh the pros and cons.

:: Vegas ::

PROS: time with hubby; nickel slots at the Hard Rock Hotel (if I can get anyone to go there with me); potential celebrity sightings; get to visit with Eddie & Christina (brother and sister-in-law who live there); Sephora; abundant cheap food

CONS: going with the in-laws who aren't in to going to clubs or even gambling for that matter; in-laws will have control of the rental car; won't be hot (maybe 50s); Eddie will have gotten back surgery 5 days before I arrive so he'll be no fun; I've been to Vegas MANY times (even lived there for 3 years) - so I've already seen it all; abundant cheap food = Tina becomes a fatty fat fat

:: Salt Lake City ::

PROS - ok, it's the Olympics, that's very cool; Chucky's going too; pretty scenery; maybe sunny; free abundant food at the hotel; potential celebrity sightings (though sports celebrities don't excite me)

CONS - will be working the whole time; will spend at least 2 hours/day travelling from Park City to Salt Lake; it's going to be COLD; I probably won't get to see even a single event; going snowboarding seems out of the question; most of my time will be spent many miles away from the free abundant food; and even if I DO happen to see Ben Affleck chatting with Tara Lipinski, I'll be a dweeb bundled up in Kodak clothing

:: Orlando ::

PROS: warm and sunny (maybe)

CONS: conference the whole time; there alone; don't think I'll have a car so stuck in the vicinity of hotel; no time to go to Disney or SeaWorld but can't afford it anyway


OK, not saying I'd trade it (though I would pass up Orlando if it wasn't going so applicable to my current project and potentially career enhancing), but it's certainly not all wine and roses.

I suppose on some level I'm being granted these opportunities for "fun" because in April, the fun level drops significantly when I have to have an incision into my uterus via my bellybutton. Aaagh!

Box of Snakes

Funny story. As Sophia, Daniela, Chuck and I were leaving the beach house (in Brasil), Daniela's Mom (Charlotte) handed Chuck a box and said, "Here's a box of snakes for your trip." Chuck was taken aback, wondering if there was a little know Brasilian custom to travel with snakes for good luck. He hesitated to take the box... Charlotte saw the look on his face and said, "snacks! I meant a box of snacks!" Chuck was relieved, took the box, and we munched on snakes for the 3 hour ride to the city.