Today seemed to be a better day. I had lunch with Mikha, Daniela's sister. It was so great. Both Mikha and Daniela (two gorgeous Brasilian women) are both so fun and interesting. I wish I could see them more often.

Last year at this time, Chuck and I were in Brasil with Daniela, staying with her family at their beach house (i.e., Paradise). It was definitely the best New Years of my life, all was good... we'd stay up until 3am playing Buraco, a card game. Chuck and I were so addicted to that game yet we haven't played it since. I guess it's not as much fun without Brasilians to play it with =) Daniela's family was so kind to us... it was so wonderful.

We did the Brasilian New Year's Eve tradition of wearing all white, going to the beach and, at midnight, wading in to the water, making a wish, and jumping 7 waves. I don't remember my wish, but I do remember becoming "champagne-enhanced Tina".

I am also very happy for Jenny and Aaron, they are now engaged. I knew Aaron was going to pop the question and I was so careful not to drop any hints to Jenny. Jenny's going to have to work out now, just to be able to hold her arm up with that gigantic ROCK on it!! Congratulations my friends!

F*&^$! I thought I should write about something happier, but I can't. Christmas Eve with the family went ok, but without Mom there, I just wanted to leave. I cried the whole drive home. Why can't this get easier? I honestly don't think it ever will. I think I will cry every day for the rest of my life. The strangest things trigger the saddest thoughts. You know it's bad when a Nine Inch Nails song can make you sob. Here's how that went...

F* you like an Animal came on the radio... the line "hey Pig, Piggy, Pig, Pig Pig" made me think of how my Brother gives everyone nicknames, how he used to call his ex-girlfriend Piggy and sing that song to her. Then I think about how he now calls his wife Skippy. It triggers the memory from that first week when Mom was in the hospital, when she was coherent... Eddie told her that Skippy said Hi, then he said it funny, "skippeeeeee", and Mom smiled. Then I begin to think more about while Mom was in the hospital, and those thoughts are the absolute worst, the most heart wrenching. I think about how she seemed, at that time, to be getting better, how she really shouldn't have died, how they let her bleed until it caused her heart to fail. I think about what I saw. No one should ever see what I saw. I don't want to think about how bloated she was and all the tubes and blood. I want to forget the hospital. I want to take a little pill and forget. I want to go back in time and see her go from nodding and blinking to talking and walking. But it doesn't happen that way. Reality hits and I can heardly bear it. All from a NIN song that should be inspiring lust instead of great sadness.

So as much as I want to write about the gigantic teddy bear Chuck got me for Christmas or the very cool red velvet pillow Jenny made for me, I need to write about the pain before it consumes me.

Jamba

On this weeks episode of The Osbournes, Sharon was drinking a Jamba Juice. Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh, I want JAMBA!!!!!!!

Jesus Christ, Superstar

My sister was asked if my Niece/Goddaughter could play Baby Jesus in her church's Christmas Pageant. That's so exciting!

I knew she was a Godsend, she's a little angel and has helped us all find happiness in a time of sorrow... so it's fitting that she would play a (THE) saviour.

Blue Christmas

My grieving situation has achieved the 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of the time, I'm fine. Twenty percent of the time, I'm an emotional, sobbing wreck. Usually that 20% is when I'm driving alone - consistently a dangerously sad time... or late at night when it's quiet and my mind wanders... or sometimes at unexpected moments, like when I'm at the Gap Christmas shopping. Distraction helps, but it's not always feasible. Cable tv helps (shallow, but true).

On the drive home tonight, I had the song "Blue Christmas" stuck in my head... and it made me cry because I will have a blue Christmas without Mom. So then I tried whistling "Winter Wonderland" to distract myself... and it made me cry because she loved to hear me whistle. So I called my sister and got distracted and stopped crying for 20 minutes. Then I hung up and cried for the last 2 minutes of my drive. Then I was ok again.

I should be SLEEPING!

I had yet another dream about Mom. In it, she was still in the hospital and I remember thinking, "why did I tell everyone she died?" The strange part is that even though it was about Mom, I didn't actually SEE her in the dream. But somehow I knew that she was doing very well.

I had another dream with my Mom in it. These dreams are precious, but strange. In them, she is unexpectedly alive, as I seem to be aware, in my dream, of the fact that she is supposed to have died.

Some strangeness with this dream though...

In the dream, I went to a family members house and Mom was lying on the floor talking on the phone. Again, I was surprised that she was alive. She got off the phone and started telling me that Eddie (my brother) had dreamt that night about being in hand to hand combat, gesturing as if she were holding a machine gun. So, in essence, she could "see" our dreams.

The wierd part - today I asked Eddie if he had that type of dream and he said he has violent dreams all the time, where he's usually killing somone (ok, that's scary too - the boy needs psychoanalysis). Anyhow, I found it interesting that it all tied in together, even though Eddie had never told Mom about having these type of dreams.

All in all, I don't care what they all mean, I just love the opportunity to see my Mom again, because it feels so real.

Rudolphina

I heard an interesting little tidbit on the radio yesterday. According to biologists, though both the male and female reindeer grow antlers, the males shed their antlers in late November/early December, while the females do not shed their antlers until the spring. Put two and two together and, yes... say it with me... all of Santa's reindeer are actually female!

You go girl!

As I realize how late it is, I created a pseudo-haiku relating to lack of sleep.

Delicate moon,
playing over the snow,
the night is over.

I need to vent. Along with all the other drama, I have a side issue happening that is only driving me slightly crazy. Before Mom died, Stepdad and I shared all of about 5 minutes of conversation a week. Now, he calls me every day, (down from many times a day) and tell me his every move in painful detail. On top of that, he doesn't remember from one day to the next what he's told me, so he repeats himself - VERBATIM - and I hear the same stories at least 4 times.

That said, I know he is going through the most difficult thing anyone could be asked to live through, so in the interest of saving his sanity, I let him ramble. It is, however, getting to the point where my sanity is in jeopardy. I'm having a hard time saying anything though, because I do NOT want to hurt his feelings, he's been hurt enough.

So just for my own amusement (misery loves company), I want to show you what I mean. Here is a message he left me last weekend. It is transcribed exactly, I exaggerate NOT:

Hi Honey, it's Dickie, I just called to see how you're doing, I didn't have a talk with you today. I was running around busy again, I went to see Uncle John this morning and give him his cigarettes and then I went to the cemetary to see your Mom and then I uh ** laughter and side comment to "fiance" ** um, and let's see, oh I bought some glasses and I got a earring and uh what else did I do? what else did I do? aaah, bought another pair of pants, bought the baby some REAL nice stuff and um, what else? I got a leather last night and um, anyway, I just wanted to see how you were doing and uh, gimme a call when you get a chance. I'm gonna go to church in the morning and then probably maybe I'll go down with Sherri, follow her back home, have a cup of coffee with Sher or something and oh, we're gonna have dinner Tuesday night at the house if you'd like to join us. I figured I'd make tuna casserole for Rosie and then I'll probably make something else, maybe I'll get some chicken or something, and I'll have some chicken, I know you like the chicken, if you want to join us, if you don't, you don't have to, that's no problem, and, anyway, hope Chuckie's feeling well [beep... "END OF MESSAGE" - as it ran out of space]

Oh, and my Aunt calls me about 5 times a day too and, in response to the news of Dick's engagement, says something like, "God was in my room in 1996 and, your Mommy is in heaven and Punky is in heaven and this is God's way of saving Dickie from Satan... "

That Linkin Park song keeps playing in my head...

Everything you say to me,
Takes me one step closer to the edge,
And I'm about to break,
I need a little room to breathe,
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge,
And I'm about to break

Side note, tidbits from Stepdad's message indicate that "fiance" is trying to transform him from blue-collar-carhart-jacket-blue-jeans-baseball-cap style to GQ man. More on that at a later date.

I long for the good old days when both Dad and Mom were alive, Dad was a drug dealer and fighting with Stepmom and Mom and Dick were my sanctuary of normalcy.

I haven't been blogging because I've been waiting for something good to say. Well, there just isn't any. It's all just completely shitty. But I won't say "it can't get worse" because the past months have proved that it sure the hell can.

Since I last blogged, my Stepdad has "fallen in love" with my Mom's former best friend, asked her to marry him and gave her a ring - drama ensued and is still causing stress every day. That same day I find out that kodak.com is going to be downsized from 150 people to about 40. So now I worry that I will lose my job too. And even if I happen to not get laid off, many of my friends could - and the work environment that I have always thought was so great because of all the wonderful people, will be shit.

Then, yesterday, Jenny learns that Aaron has been called back to active duty - potentially for a year. Not only is Jenny one of my best friends and I am deeply hurt and concerned for her, but Aaron is a great friend too - especially to Chuck - and we are concerned for him too (and will miss him dearly). After all, he has to be apart from Jenny and Oscar and the clan too. I only hope that it is a good place for him to be.

Update

Haven't been blogging, still having a hard time of it... normal for most of the day, then the drive home just kills me... can't stop the sad thoughts. It's not getting easier yet, it's getting harder. But there's just no helping it... no making it better... just have to try to get through it.

I dreamt about Mom last night - we were walking together and she kind of stumbled and then did some silly dance, and I hugged her and said "THAT'S why I miss you." I wish I could dream about her every night. I just live for it - where she's THERE again, right THERE - it seems so real. I need to learn lucid dreaming. Daniela got me a book about it, but I haven't really tried yet... I will.

Atlanta

Gotta go to Atlanta for work... leaving in couple hours. Not sure how keen I am on spending two nights alone in a hotel room. Chuck has been my saviour through all this... he is so thoughtful and kind and helpful... and he hugs me when I'm sad and crying. It will be hard, without any distraction at night, to keep me from dwelling on the sadness of the reality that Mom and Punky are gone... I hope the hotel room has cable, because that's the only other thing that keeps me distracted, TV.

On a hopeful note about Atlanta, there is a Jamba Juice about 3 miles from the hotel. If there is a God, he will help me find a way to get a Jamba while I'm in Atlanta.

Happy Birthday Eddie

Today is my brother's birthday. Probably his hardest one... I'm dreading mine. He and Skippy (Christina, his wife) went to LA to go to Disneyland. Then they called me from Jamba Juice on Melrose... that was just cruel. My two favorite things... great shopping and Jamba.

I need a trip to LA... I'd also go to Lola's and have homebaked macaroni and cheese, freshly baked hot cookies for dessert and about 5 martinis! Here are the ones I'd try:

You'd Be Blue Too Martini
Toddies Big Banana Martini
Clockwork Orange
Red Caramel Apple Martini
and a Very Berri Sherri Martini, in honor of my sister

Life Sucks Even More

Punky died yesterday. I'm starting to feel cursed... and pathetic... and like I have nothing but very sad things to talk and/or think about... and trying to remember how to function like a normal person...

Technically, I had the vet put him to sleep, but it was probably just a matter of minutes before he would have gone on his own. We got him a blood transfusion on Saturday, but it didn't help. I won't go in to the gory details, but by Monday morning, his condition just broke my and Chuck's heart... we didn't want him to suffer for one more moment.

So now nightime is even worse, because now in addition to thinking about Mom... now I think about Punky too. I miss getting in bed... then hearing Punky climb the stairs... then a few moments later... whoosh, he'd jump on the bed, crawl over Chuck to get to me - or crawl on Chuck if he was awake - then lay on me until I had to roll over and try to sleep, then he would lay next to me until I fell asleep... often still there in the morning. I miss his furry little face and gigantic feet (he had 7 toes on each foot).

I look at it as Mom got a belated birthday gift (appropriate, since I'm always late with gifts and such), a sweet, loving kitty to keep her company. She loved Punky very much... he lived at home (at Mom's) with me for 3 years before I got married, so she was very attached to him. I'm sure she's taking very good care of him.

Life Sucks

Nightime... the worst... sadness increases 10-fold... on top of it all, tonight I have more to be sad about.

First, it's Halloween, the first holiday of the "holiday season"... the first holiday without Mom. It may seem silly to miss Mom on Halloween, but she loved Halloween... every year she'd put on this silly indian mask to make us laugh... she'd get candy for anyone and everyone... she'd send a Halloween card with scratch-off lottery tickets in it. If her presence is so missed at Halloween, how am I going to get through Thanksgiving and... ugh, I can barely say it...Christmas? Not to mention her Birthday, which is this Sunday... she would have been only 57.

And the other tragedy occuring in my life... my cat is deteriorating rapidly. He has Chronic Kidney Failure and is in rough shape. He's anemic, his pupils are very dilated and he will only eat if we put the food right up to his nose. I realize he's a senior citizen, but I just can't bear to see him so sick... the Vet says he isn't suffering... but I'm not so sure. I think there may be some options, but they may only give him more 'weeks', not even 'months'... I just can't bear to think about it any more right now. I'll find out more from the Vet tomorrow morning...

Stop Crying Your Heart Out

Music is a powerful thing. Many songs take on much more significance when you've lost someone special.

This Oasis song "Stop Crying Your Heart Out", which before Mom died was just a catchy toon that seemed to be about self-pity, now takes on new meaning. It makes me feel as if the song was being sung to her as she was dying (from heart problems), with her family standing around her hospital bed... here are the main lyrics:

Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone

May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

We're all of us stars
We're fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out

Better Living Through Chemistry

No, I haven't taken to drugs (just wanted to share a good article)... though the thought did cross my mind (prescription drugs). Instead, my brother Eddie gave me a great pep talk as to why I don't need them. He told me I was a very strong person and pointed out some of the shit I've lived through... and he's right... even if most of the time I feel fragile and sensitive, when I have to be, I can be strong. I attribute that to Mom.

So back to the Chemistry stuff... I'm a Beauty Product Nerd and, in particular, interested in anything and everything having to do with hair... and found this cool article:
Better Hair through Chemistry

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to Yelli today. Welcome to my thirtysomething world.

Not so Fast

Ok, the healing may have begun, but it's going SLOW. I just can't believe she's gone, it's a physical pain. I want to stop my brain from working... to stop thinking of regrets and the horror of what I saw in the hospital.

I regret that we didn't at least entertain her worry that she could die (even though the Doctors made it sound about as risky as getting tonsils out). I regret that we didn't spend every waking moment with her before she went in to surgery. I would love more than anything to have had words of comfort - from her - to replay over and over in my head... instead of those other thoughts. I regret not telling the Doctor to treat her as though she was VP Dick Cheney... or David Letterman.. or HIS OWN mother. Would it have made a difference? I tend to think so.

The book I'm reading, "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" has alot of poems in it... and one struck me... it explains exactly how I feel...

I found
in you
a home.

Your departure
left me a
Shelterless Victim
of a
Major Disaster.

I called the
Red Cross,
but they
refused to
send over
a nurse.

The Healing Begins

It's still so painful, I can't believe she's gone. I never realized how much joy I got out of telling my Mom about my life. Things don't seem as meaningful without Mom to tell and be proud of me... I hope that will change with time.

I know she wouldn't want me to be moping around sad... she'd probably do a silly dance to cheer me up... problem is, Mom is probably the only one who truly could cheer me up at a time like this.

Her funeral was so sad, but there were funny moments too. A coworker of hers read from a collection of memories put together by himself and others who worked with her. It made us laugh through our tears, but that would be what Mom wanted - people laughing at her funeral.

My favorite was from a coworker who recalled - while very pregnant - complaining about how big her belly was getting... my Mom replied, "the only thing that gets bigger on me is my ass". Hee, hee... very "Mom".

All her coworkers were very sad. They said she was more than a coworker, she was a friend. She'd always ask about their families. She knew all their husbands/wives/kids names and, if they didn't have kids, she knew their pets' names...

My blog will probably be pathetic (if existent) for quite a while... but hopefully it will be funny too, as I recall many of the things that made my Mom so wonderful.

Heartbroken

Mom's gone. Sunday, October 6th... she couldn't fight any more.

I'm heartbroken. Not sure how to get through each day.

Someday, when it's a little easier, I may post about things that made my Mom such a special person, but right now it's too painful.

It's too painful to laugh. It's too painful to be.

I think I am going to stop posting about Mom. It seems that just when things are looking up, bad things happen. The latest is that she has pulmonary hypertension, i.e., her lungs aren't working right and making it hard to get oxygen to her other organs.

More miracles are needed at this point.

Her lungs seemed a little better today and she was a bit more alert... that was good.

Mom has beaten death before (in 1970, when she was 25, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease... they told my Dad and Gram that she had 3 months to live... she came back to Rochester and got a new form of radiation they had just started doing at Strong Hospital... and 5 years later, was considered "cured") and I pray she has the strength to do it again.

I cannot think about what might happen though, good or bad. I have to focus on the fact that she's still alive (even if it is machines that are the reason for that) and that she is fighting with everything she's got.

Mom is slowly improving. Back from the brink, I pray. I think she's going to have an I-could-see-myself-on-the-hospital-bed-from-above-then-started-down-a-tunnel-with-a-bright-light-at-the-end-and-saw-your-Dad-and-he-told-me-to-go-back-because-it-wasnt-my-time story to tell. Like Nikki Sixx... but not from a self-induced dose of heroin.

Still not "out of the woods" as the Dr.s say, but also "nothing short of a miracle".

I'm afraid my level of relief is unchanged until she becomes coherent again... A blink on command will be as if she's won a gold medal. I will be overjoyed.

Mom had some serious setbacks since my last post... blood clot, heart failure, liver failure, kidney failure... she's on every machine imaginable - a heart pump, a dialysis machine, a respirator... she's hanging on by a thread... but she IS hanging on. I think that thoughts of Mya (her new granddaughter, my new niece) are keeping her going.

It is heartbreaking and torturous... mixed with hope, faith, and small miracles.

I hope no one ever has to know what it's like to go through this.

My Mom is so special. She's strong and she's fighting for her life.

She's my inspiration.

Mom Update #3

Finally... some good news. Mom came off sedation today and responded well. She still can't talk, ventilator is still in, but communicated by blinking her eyes and nodding her head. She's definitely aware of who we are and what's going on - and that was a major concern. Tomorrow - when her Dr. is back - they should take out the ventilator and then she's "over the hump" - as the Dr. says.

Yesterday was a trying day, they kept her sedated all day... but obviously they know what they're doing, because it seemed to be just what she needed.

Mom Update #2

Things aren't going as well as we'd hoped with Mom - not out of danger, but indications are that she's improving slowly. They expect to keep her sedated and on the ventilator for the next couple days. It's hard to see your Mom like that. Funny thing is, I know if she were aware, she'd be more worried about everyone else than herself. The good news is that her heart appears to be functioning well.

I was supposed to leave for Germany today for Photokina, but just as I was getting ready to leave, she seemed to be doing a bit worse. So I delayed my flight until Sunday - not that I can do a damn thing, but just for my own peace of mind. Mom would tell me to go, but I need more of a warm fuzzy to be able to go and function like a human. I don't think I've ever felt more stress and worry in my life. My Mom is such a loving, fun and funny person and I'd be lost without her.

The nurses said that her surgery was the worst they'd seen in over a month but the doctor said that for what she's been through, she's doing great... So we just wait and hope and pray for better days.

Mom Update

Mom came through surgery after a couple complications. Turns out they had to replace 3 valves... then she had some bleeding after the fact so they had to keep her in OR longer. She is doing better this morning than yesterday... in Guarded condition rather than Critical... so things are looking up.

All your thoughts and prayers are appreciated. I'm off to see her now.

Guns N Noses?

This is supposed to be Axl Rose. I didn't believe it at first, but the picture was on E! online - wouldn't they verify their info before posting a pic of some freak posing as Axl? What the hell happened to him? He looks nothing like the Axl of old. Are his eyebrows gone? He looks bizarre. What the hell happened to him????

Ooh One More

Oh my God, I almost forgot (Jenny had to remind me) - we also saw Sharon Stone in Toronto... Very close up... hopping in to her limo... 2 feet away... she's stunning!

Speaking of Toffee

Toffee is the main ingredient in a Heath Bar. Heath Ledger was in Toronto. Heath Ledger passed me on the escalator. I was within 3 feet of him for about 2 seconds. Before my brain registered that it was him, he was gone. For some reason, my initial thought was that it could be David Beckham. This moment of unclarity was caused by the fact that D.B. had been plastered all over every paper and magazine in UK and, with the VERY short hair, they actually look kinda similar, don't ya think?.


David Beckham

But then I realized it was Heath - about 5 seconds too late. He just slid in the side door, up the escalator, flanked by security, looking down the whole time. I sent Jenny to the restroom (which was up the escalator) but by the time she got there, gone.

Sure, Chuck get's checked out by Tim Curry in the lobby of the Four Seasons, but I can't even get a glimpse of an eyeball. Still, it was cool.

Aaron also spotted Michael Caine waiting for the elevator (by himself, wheeling his own luggage). The elevator took forever and by the time it came, the crowd that had gathered around him (and chatted with him) all piled in and M.C. had to cram into the elevator with all these schmos who got there much after him. Inconsiderate!

We may also have seen Lauren Holly, but not sure it was her. And I'm pretty sure I saw the guy from E! channel. We missed Salma Hayek by mere moments, which didn't seem to phase Jenny until I pointed out that S.M. may equal Edward Norton. Then her eyes lit up... But alas, not to be this weekend... but there's always next weekend.

Ketchup

Been away so long...

Went to London, loved it. Walked a ton but still gained 5 lbs. So on that note and since my blog IS The "Daily Bite", I'll start by talking about the food I had...

• a Brie and Bacon sandwhich at the Hog in the Pound Pub (their bacon is like our ham)
  
• lots and lots of chips (I ate more fries in 2 weeks than in the previous 2 months here)
  
• a yummy pizza at Pizza Express, which is actually a pretty fancy little place
  
• a Banana Sundae - with yummy crunchy little merengue chips in it
  
• many Mocha Frappucinos
  
• a heavenly plate of Gnocchi drowning in cheese
  

Went to Edinburgh, Scotland for a weekend. Visited Edinburgh Castle and walked the Royal Mile. Gorgeous! Scotland is VERY VERY green... more memorable food...

• Jenny shared a dessert that I think was a little cake covered in toffee sauce with baked toffee on top - mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - I almost ate it all before she could. I love toffee!!!!
  

Went to Paris the last weekend. Lots of very beautiful sights, a little more difficult to get around than London, but definitely had a good time and some good food...

• the best coffee I've every had... with warm milk... and many sugar cubes, mmmm
  
• that tasty baguette with butter and jelly each morning
  
• the butter and cinnamon crepe... I wish I'd had a few more... I'd go back just for the Crepes!
  
• the fruit tart from Fauchon - it was the kind of dessert that makes you realize how good life can be
  

Yes, it was a wonderful trip. Great friends, great food, great sights, great times.

Y'knowhattamean?

On the internet at Tower Records in Picadilly Square in London. Trip so far is great. Been to Scotland and have been seeing the sights in London. Jenny is an excellent tour coordinator! Heading for Paris on Friday.

However, the interesting story comes from the trip from Rochester to Pittsburgh. One of those leetle planes - seats about 20 - two seats on one side, one on the other. Jenny and I were sitting together and Chuck was just across the aisle. A man of about 400lbs was milling about waiting for another passenger to move from his seat. He then was in the way of others trying to get by and squeezed his way into my seat to get out of the way. Yes, his 400lb ass was right directly in my face. I had to lean WAAAAAYYYY over to Jenny so as not to have my face touching his enormous ass. I honestly thought he was going to sit on me, so I politely pleaded, "be careful, be careful". Not for him to be careful not to hurt himself, but to be careful not to crush me! Worst part about it, he didn't even apologize or say excuse me. I'm scarred for life.

The Enabler

Jenny writes of me being an enabler for buying her the kitty purse shown here. But in her blog, she leaves out the fact that I owe her and Aaron a huge debt of gratitute for not only inviting us to England, but handling all the plotting and planning for while we're there.

It was a small token of my appreciation for all the wonderful things Jenny does for me!!!!

We also got Aaron a man purse yesterday. The guy told me that in NYC, you don't see a man without a man purse. It really makes sense - everyone, regardless of gender - has STUFF to carry. You can only fill your cargo pants so full before you start to look like MC Hammer.

Heath Bar

Jenny is beginning the annual plotting and planning for the Toronto International Film Festival. This will be our third year. We enjoy the films, the shopping and the celeb-spotting (my favorite pastime) - read more about it in my archives.

This year, there will be a nice collection of hunks available for our viewing (hopefully in person) pleasure. Edward Norton will be there and Jenny is quite fond of him as he appeared in Keeping the Faith (not necessarily in any other film).

Heath Ledger will be there, who I have a soft spot for since watching him in his unknown days on the drama series "Roar" where he played a Celtic warrior prince. Mmm. I remember thinking, "that guy will be a big star someday". Aren't I perceptive.

Separated at Birth

I really wanted more examples, but I can't hold out any longer. I think Joel is Gary Sinese's evil twin.



We've determined that Joel needs to write a book about all his life adventures and stories. My favorite being the one where (recounted via my memory and story telling abilities, not Joel's - so this chapter in his book may read different...) anyway... he was riding his bike when he noticed a thin metallic glint ahead, the thin metallic glint turned to face him and became a large metallic obstruction - a guy in a Smartfood Popcorn costume - who he proceeded to mow down with his bike.

I doubt there are too many people in the world who have run over a guy in a popcorn costume. Only Joel.

We've also determined that Gary Sinese will play Joel in the film version.

Blog AWOL

Sorry, not sure what has or hasn't gotten in to me. On top of not having time, I guess I haven't had anything interesting to say.

So, an update. My niece is doing very well, up to near 4 1/2 lbs and on probably coming home in the next two weeks. The feeding tube is out, no more incubator... growing, growing, growing. Soon she will be ready to be fully enveloped in the insanity that is my family. Good insane though.

Other than visiting le petit bébé, I am trying to learn French. Chuck, Jenny, Aaron and myself are leaving for London next week and will be taking a side trip to Paris. So as not to offend anyone, I am doing my best to learn. I am quite sure that, no matter how much I THINK I know, I'll get there and go completely blank. I see myself saying, "ah duh" over and over. So maybe they will continually think I am counting to two, assume me to be "off" and perhaps have pitty on me.

Barney Love

When I was in DC last week (melting in 100 degree heat and humidity), I took a quick tour of the Whitehouse. That's when it happened. I met Barney, the president's dog. He looked in to my eyes. I looked in to his. He kissed me on the nose. We had a moment.

I'm not big in to politics and, if anything, I lean to the left, but Barney melted my heart and I have renewed respect for President Bush in raising such an upstanding young pup. If only his daughters were as well behaved!

Feeling Better

The miracle of modern medicine. I'm about 90%. Sick of drinking cranberry juice though!

If I Die Before I Wake

Well, you know something is wrong with you when you drive along in 95 degree humid weather with the windows closed and the air off and you are STILL getting goosebumps.

I have a bladder infection. In thinking about it more through the haze of a fever and nausea, I might have a bladder infection combined with the yuckiness Joel had.

Call me a wimp, but I feel like I'm going to die. God forbid I get something really wrong with me!

Aaah, the Weekend

The weekend is finally here. Hubby and I are running off to The 1000 Islands to be in a golf tournament with his parents - all for fun. Good thing since I'm very much out of practice.

My niece Mya is doing very well, up to 3lbs 6oz as of a couple days ago and feeding on her own. Still a little peanut, but growing stronger each day. Sis is almost back to her old self, worrying heavily about how her hair looks and when she will able to wear her jeans again. I think little miss Mya will be a fashionista out of the gate. Apparently the first outfit she wore was a little bee outfit I got her from Gymboree. So instead of a little peanut, she was a little honey bee.

Testing 1,2,3

Daniela has been taking tests like a madwoman. I have partaken of a few...

First I tested out as a Pisces, though I'm pretty sure my true Scorpio nature is just a few drinks away at any given moment.

Then I found out I was The Girl Next Door type.

From there I went on to find out that my candy heart is "Be Good" (in direct opposition to the Pisces result).

Next thing you know, I determine that I am indeed a Sex Goddess - PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night (see Daniela's blog for description).

Latest is that I'm an ENFP - Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving - still the same since I first took the Myers-Briggs test about 10 years ago. I think I'm even more extroverted now...

Tests are fun...

Bargain Bonus

I got two new pairs of shoes today. A $200 pair and a $140 pair. I only paid $29 each though. Oh happy day. I love to "get a deal". A small part of me wanted to buy them only for that reason.

I am a bargain shopper, and in saying that, I realize it is a very vague term. A bargain shopper could be someone who shops for clothes at WalMart. This is NOT me. (Target, yes). A bargain shopper could be someone who shops at Banana Republic but buys stuff on sale. This would be me. OR, depending on your status in life, a bargain shopper could be someone who shops at Bluefly.com and pays $450 for a Fendi purse instead of $1000. This also, is NOT me. If I won the MegaMillions, it would be me.

Does Size Matter?

Since I attended SIGGRAPH conference last year, I've been getting alot of spam at work. Much of it has been pornish. Today I got this email at work...

In a recent survey conducted by Durex condoms, 67% of women said that they are unhappy with the size of their lovers. Proof that size does matter! A large member has much more surface area and is capable of stimulating more nerve endings, providing more pleasure for you and your partner. Our revolutionary pill developed by world famous pharmacist is guaranteed to increase your size by 1-3". Enter here for details

OK, not only disturbing that I got it at work, but disturbing because the LAST thing I want to do is INCREASE my size.

From Sex-Pot to Sex-Not

I took the What Zodiac Sign SHOULD You Be? test that Daniela linked to. I had always suspected I wasn't totally Scorpio, but, alas, I've turned out to be a Pisces:

----------
The planets are very complex. Maybe your astrologer will disagree, and maybe a few tendencies will vary, but overall you're a PISCES. You've got that water-sign style which is characterized by an emotional and intuitive nature. You have a magical and spiritual presence, which is why Pisces people are said to be "old souls." As a Pisces, you are especially imaginative, artistic and sensitive. A loyal and generous friend, you are also known for being the quintessential romantic. You thrive on change and adapt quickly and effortlessly to new situations. But your tendency toward self-doubt and insecurity leaves you a little overly impressionable. You aim to please and hate to say "no" for fear of disappointing others. A true Pisces is a wonderfully caring and invaluable friend. You are most noted and admired for your abundance of genuine compassion.
----------

I'm bummed. It's pretty accurate, but I'd rather be a Scorpio Sex-pot.

What's Your Sign?

Daniela found an interesting description of Scorpios.

Yes, Scorpios often get a bad wrap, labelled as the ones "most likely to have murdered someone" or all about "sex, sex, sex" (ok, maybe that's not bad persay). Knowing many Scorpios - Daniela, myself, my brother, my Mom, and others... I'd say that the description Daniela found is pretty good... we're not all bad.

Of course after reading that Scorpios are considered the "sex-pots" of the zodiac, now my ego IS the size of Australia.

I'd really like to know everyone else's sign... so comment away.

Hectic Life

Life has gotten quite hectic these days and I can't seem to find enough time in a day. I need brownies... not the kind you eat, the kind who clean your house.

Mood Ring

I found this funny:

A woman is talking to a friend at a supermarket.
She tells her, "My husband bought me a mood
ring the other day.
When I'm in a good mood, it turns a
beautiful blue.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a
big red mark on his forehead."

Mya New-a Niece-a

Here's a pic of my precious little niece. Lots of hair, unlike her Aunt Tina, who was bald until the age of 3.



Funny side note: when my brother Eddie (always trying to get a laugh) heard that they were naming her Mya, he said, "you mean like 'mya ballsa itcha'?" Sherri didn't laugh all that hard at that one.

Aunt Tina

After 2 months in the hospital, my sister went in to labor this morning and delivered a 3lb 2oz baby girl via c-section - 10 weeks early. Mya Karyna is doing very well and is VERY CUTE (no, I'm not biased).

She was wearing a little pink hat - yep, already fashionable, that little niece of mine.

Mah-Jongg

I am totally addicted to this game. On top of that, while I'm playing it, I get a strong urge to eat Oreos.

I need help, MY hair's on fire

I took the personality disorder test Daniela linked to.

I'm not sure if I should be very pleased that I scored low on everything else or very worried that I scored high on Histronic.

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Corey Feldman

Could someone please explain to me why there's so much buzz about Corey Feldman these days? First he's in Moby's video licking his cell phone. Then he's being interviewed on the radio. Today he was #5 on the "movers" list on Yahoo. Did he get asked to BE in Moby's video BECAUSE there's buzz about him or did the cell-phone-licking cause the buzz? I don't get it. Why, why, why?

What next? Corey Haim in a Gap ad?

Food Fantasies

I'm still "on the wagon" - i.e. eating healthy and exercising (exorcising ;-) and I'm actually finding it easy to pass on stuff that is "bad" for me, such as Tim Horton's donut holes... but last night I had these "Red Hot Blues" tortilla chips (they are soooo good) dipped in melted Monterey Jack cheese (Sharp Cheddar works well too). It was almost enough to drive me off the edge... It's the kind of food you just can't "eat in moderation" - you need to eat a whole bag with a pound of cheese to the point of illness until you feel satisfied.

Thus began my most recent Food Fantasy... I can see it now... the cheese gently oozing off the chip and falling back into the bowl... reheating the cheese again until it forms little puddles of cheese grease... the precious little specs of spicy goodness on each chip... mmmmmmmmmmmm.....

The chips are actually a pretty healthy choice... it's just that they need to be slathered in a ton of cheese to create the heavenly combination worth going off the wagon for.

Baby Stuff

Jenny and Aaron helped me register for baby stuff for my sister today. She's still in the hospital - has been for over 6 weeks now - and will be until she delivers - could be another 10 weeks.

Picking out baby stuff is not as easy as it seems. There's so much to consider. We were on the phone with Sherri most of the time and even called in for the expertise of Joel- who has three babies worth of experience.

*Boop*... *boop*... I loved using the scanner gun. We scanned some extra stuff because it was just soooo cute... and were tempted to start scanning clothes and stuff we liked and then when Sherri opened them as gifts, I'd go "oops, I'll take that".

Aaron accidentally scanned Jenny's eye. She wasn't pleased. We had to take the gun away from him. Safety first.

All in all, it was stressful but fun.

Ow

Biked 10 miles with Abby and Matt yesterday. It was great, but today I have pain in inapproriate places. Damn bike seats.

F.B.P.O.T.M.

Haven't posted one in a while, but I just ordered some online, so Phytodefrisant is my Favorite Beauty Product of the Moment. It is the best hair straightening stuff around i.m.h.o., though I hope to not need it if I can ever get thermal reconditioning.

Gray Day

I think I found my first gray hair today. Not bad, made it to 33 1/2 without one. Not freaking out. And I don't buy in to that "pull 1, 4 more will grow" wives tale. Load of crap. That sucker is coming OUT.

RATC

I realized today that you never hear about Ring Around the Collar in laundry detergent ads anymore.

Goodbye Kitty

In a quick search to find a picture of a Spideyman doll for my previous post, I came across beWild.com. Then I found this "Goodbye Kitty" t-shirt among many other interesting offerings.

World Cup fans might like these contacts:

GO USA!!!!!!!!! and, out of respect and love for my good friend Yelli, her wonderful family and her beautiful country... GO BRASIL!!!!!!!!!!

Jamba Jamba Jamba

Back from Denver. Quick trip. Mostly travel and work. But, amidst it all, a shining ray of light that is Jamba.

First let me say that Vanguard airlines is very limiting in two very important elements of my life. Eating and peeing. The gate in KC was secured off from the hallway containing the bathroom and restaurants. So to get food or pee, you have to wait through security again. With no time for that, I practically encurred a bladder infection waiting for the damn "fasten your seatbelt" sign to get turned off so I could go to the bathroom. Then, the only food available to us over the span of 7 hours were a bag of 8 tiny pretzels or a nasty-ass raisin granola bar. Thank GOD I brought pistachios and Love Hearts.

So after arriving in Denver, our first destination was Jamba Juice. I was in 7th Heaven. Kurt was a Jamba virgin and I was concerned that with all my J.J. hype, he might be disappointed (like when someone tells you that Raising Arizona is the best movie ever so you rent it and think, "what the hell kind of crack were they on?"), but it was a success - he was definitely pleased.

After working for the next 6 hours, we made our way to the hotel. We were wiped out, having been awake since 1am Denver time, so in deciding what to do for dinner, I jokingly suggested ordering Jamba Juice, "they deliver". Next thing I know, Kurt was on the phone placing an order (the crack they put in his Razzmatazz that morning obviously did the trick). With a minimum order, we thought it would be cool to get a few different flavors to sample, so I could get a better grip on which ones I liked so I wouldn't ALWAYS order an Orange-a-Peel.

Turned out to be a stroke of brilliance. We got 5 different Jambas: Peenya Kowlada, Kiwi Berry Burner, Banana Berry Blitz, Jamba Powerboost, and Cranberry Craze.

With our renewed energy from the Jambas, we walked over to Dave & Busters where I proceeded to win my very own stuffed Spideyman doll. Spidey and I got quite a few glances from admiring fans at the airport.

And though I thought we may have O.D.'d on the Jamba (though we didn't drink ALL of them), we got one last hit before leaving for the airport the next day. I got a Banana Berry Blitz, my new fave... but quickly realized that my new fave does a good job of distributing blueberry skin into every crevice of my teeth. Joy.

Off to Denver

Quick trip to Denver tomorrow for work. The sucky part is that I have to get up at 3:30am to make a 7am flight in Buffalo. The excellent part is... those of you who know me will know this... JAMBA JUICE!

I may have to leave the wagon parked in Rochester (ie, have more than 1500 calories per day... heck, I could drink that in Jambas alone)!

Wagonville

Speaking of the wagon - an update... I've been very good for two weeks now... eating good, climbing stairs with Jenny at lunch... just started doing crunches each morning... have lost 4 pounds. New pants no longer look like hoochie pants. Am pleased.

Get your Groove On

The Playgroup CD I bought a couple months ago at Firehouse 15 is awesome. A few weeks after I bought it, I heard them playing it at Urban Outfitters in Denver. That made me feel hip ;-)

If you like techno, have a listen.

Observations

As I was driving home last night, "Fat Bottom Girls" from Queen was playing on the radio. Is it disturbing to any one else that the only guy singing about liking fat bottom girls ("you make the rockin world go round") was gay? A damn cool gay man... but overall probably not too interested any-sized-bottom woman.

Isn't it extremely annoying when this happens: you and another car have to stop in the left lane behind someone turning left, then you put your blinker on to get by them via the right lane and wait for traffic to clear, then when traffic finally clears, the bastard behind you cuts in to the right lane and floors it, trying to prevent your opportunity to cut into the right lane? I was ahead of you, you knew damn I also wanted to cut over... MF*#(&(*@&(*& - you damn well better let me cut in too. Aaaaarrrrgh!

Again with the Hair Straightening

After many hours of online research, reading posts to beautywalk.com, I've decided NOT to get thermal reconditioning done in Rochester. I am going to have to wait until I'm in a big city... or drive to NYC and get it done. Here's why:

• most posts mention either the Yuko System (patented by the inventor of this type of straightening), Liscio (Magic Straight Perm), or Bio Ionics. No mention of Paul Brown - which is the product/process the salon here uses. From the posts, I assume Yuko is best, but all three can give great results if you have an experienced stylist
• the stylists at the salon here just learned so they are very inexperienced
• in the newpaper article and via phone inquiry, they quoted the cost range to be $250-$400; when I went in for my consult, they quoted the lowest cost to be $400 (I think they jacked up the price because of the amount of interest)
• posts on beautywalk.com suggest that the process has a decent learning curve to get the timing right - so use an experienced stylist (note the common theme)
• inexperienced stylist + new product/process = NOWAY
  

So, it seems like my best bet is to either got to VincentJ in Fort Lauderdale, AndersonFrench in NYC, or Yuko Salon in LA. I need now is to win the lottery. Dammit.

Undercover Brother

Went and saw Undercover Brother this weekend. It was hilarious! It evolved from the Undercover Brother webseries of animations.

Dave Chapelle, one of my favorite comedians, was in it, along with Chris Kattan and Neil Patrick Harris (aka Doogie Howser, MD). A must see.

I found out that Denise Richard's butt was digitally "enhanced" (bootified =) for this movie poster. In reality she's got a flat little butt.

Straight and Narrow

I've gotten questions about the cost of Thermal Reconditioning, so here's more details than you ever wanted to know about my hair and the info I got from my "consultation" on TR.

About me and my hair:

• it's naturally curly but fine/thin, just beyond shoulder length
  
• with current cut, it looks like shit curly and I end up wearing it up
  
• takes about 15 minutes to blowdry straight, but it's a frizzy, poofy straight so I have to flat iron to get it smooth - ~another 10 min.
  
• if I spend 25 min and get my hair straight, sleek & smooth, then get rained on at all, it frizzes and poofs out
  
• the newspaper and the quote my sis got in a phone call to the salon said that the cost would range from $250-$400 depending on hair type. With my hair type, I assumed $300 at the most.

What I learned in my consultation:

• the stylist had TR done on herself ~2 wks ago
  
• her hair looked pretty nice (it was dyed black)
  
• she determined it could be safely done to my hair (you can't have/get highlights or hair can break off)
  
• no more frizz (rain be damned)
  
• still need to blowdry to get hair totally smooth, but should cut drying time significantly (her blowdry used to take over an hour, now it takes 10 min)
  
• should last 6-8 months as weight of hair will pull regrowth pretty straight
  
• process takes about 4 hours
  
• basically, they condition your hair, rinse, blowdry, apply more stuff, flat iron it, apply neutralizer, rinse (to get more details, check thermalreconditioning.com)
  
• need to cut a little bit off the ends afterward as it does tend to fry the ends a bit
  
• tends to lighten hair a shade or two, but you can get a color rinse right after
  
• they give you a special shampoo and conditioner that you MUST use
  
• you shouldn't wash your hair for 2-3 days after
  
  AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST:
  
• it will cost me $400!! (apparently the paper was wrong and the base price is $400... I think they jacked the price up when they saw how much interest there was)
  

So... the pros and cons:
PROS:

• less time doing hair
  
• improves hair condition (smoother and shinier)
  
• no more frizz
  
• no more sore arms from blowdrying for 20 minutes
  
• no more need for Frizz-ease, Phytodefrisant, Str8, Bed Head Control Freak, and so on...
  

CONS:

• $400
• they're pretty new to it
• can't wear it curly (but it looks like shit curly anyway, so that's not really a con)
• Joel thinks "the salon" (heretofore unnamed) that is doing it here sucks and my hair will fall out

Wagonville

Well, it's been 3.5 days of healthy eating and I'm not fantasizing about Krispy Kremes yet.

Tuesday, I got on the scale and it appeared I had lost 5 pounds. I thought, "Dear Jesus, miracles do happen!!"... then I looked closely at the scale and saw that it was not set at 0, it was -5. I had hit it with the door and knocked it out of balance the night before. CRUEL, CRUEL WORLD!!

So in reality, I'm barely a half pound lighter since Sunday. UGH! IMPATIENT! WANT TO BE SKINNY IMMEDIATELY!!

Straighter Days Ahead

I have a consultation at a salon in Rochester tonight to see if I'm a candidate for Thermal Reconditioning. The only place doing it in Rochester as far as I know.

Looks like it may happen. I'm a bit nervous... but the thought of cutting 20 minutes out of my morning routine is very appealing. And no more frizz? Worth every penny.

By the time my hair grows back out, I will probably be dying for curly hair again...

Should I do it?

Not so Good News

Punky had his checkup today, not the best news. His liver number is about the same, down slightly, but his red blood cell count is really low. Before it was normal - 44% - today it was 22% - below 10% is life threatening. He started on special food today (which, thank God, the picky little sh*t likes) so that should help. We can go to every other day with his IV and see how he does.

He's not really getting used to it, he's getting worse. It's not a simple, quick injection. We have to administer fluids with a big (I'd pass out if it had to be used on me) needle for about 5 minutes per spot, three to four spots per session. Chuck swears that Punky "squinches up his skin" to make it harder to find a spot to put the needle. Punky always looks very pissed and lately he turns around and looks at Chuck as if to say, "please, leave me alone". He doesn't hold a grudge though, he's still very snuggly.

Overall, he appears to be doing well, so I won't worry too much... but, well, that's a lie. I will worry.

Wagon City

Well, after a very indulgent weekend, I am now officially back on the wagon (eating healthy). As per usual, I had to have a last hurrah with my most favorite and craving-inspiring foods to get it out of my system.

My last hurrah included - a grilled cheese bacon burger at Friendly's, a smoothie from TCBY, a grilled ham & cheese, potato chips, some Milky Way miniatures, breakfast at IHOP (with hash browns, of course), lots and lots of melted cheese with tortilla chips, and, of course, Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donuts (about 6 over 2 days).


All behind me. I'm on to chicken, vegetables, protein shakes, yogurt, oatmeal, and diet popsicles. Woo hoo. Must not only fit in to current clothes, but hoping to eventually fit in to the "skinny" clothes that have been hanging bored in my closet for a while now. Wonder if they're still in style.

Pampered Chef

Though I rarely cook, I love kitchen gadgets. I don't necessarily have a gadget for everything, like Jenny who has a special marshmallow toasting stick, but I do enjoy the special tool here and there.

Pampered Chef has been the source of alot of my faves, such as my food chopper, and tonight I went to a party and got more stuff.

I bought the Deluxe Cheese Grater, which also grates chocolate. I envision serving all kinds of fancy coffees and hot chocolates with grated chocolate on top. I think I will pre-grate a bunch of chocolate just to have on hand for all those this-calls-for-some-grated-chocolate occasions. You can also switch the handedness, so hubby - who's a lefty - can find his inner gourmet chef and whip me up something-involving-something-grated.

I think the first recipe I will try will be Fantastic Focaccia Bread. Mmm.

BTW, Jenny might have a special fork for toasting marshmallows, but she doesn't have an Angelus-Campfire Bar-B-QQ Marshmallow Toaster. It's like a tiny little grill for marshmallows. Nifty!

Creepy Characters

My recent visit to Disney reminded me that people in costume freak me out. Not normal people dressed up for Halloween or Drag Queens, but people who's job it is to walk around in costume and in character.

It stems from an incident when I was 15, visiting DisneyWorld for the first time. Pluto wrapped that big old paw around me and... well... grabbed my butt. I didn't realize at the time that people in costume can barely see and are probably on the verge of unconsciousness from the heat generated inside, so the damage was done. I assumed that inside all those costumes were pervs waiting to fondle some unsuspecting young girl.

Here is some evidence:

Donald is looking right at my chest.

So beside from worrying that they're pervs, I don't know what to say to someONE, someTHING, that either doesn't talk back at all or talks back is some wierd persona. How the hell am I, your average middle America suburbanite, supposed to relate to a Klingon? This very dilemma presented itself to me a few years back at the Star Trek Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton and I had not yet studied up at The Klingon Language Institute. (It was bad enough that half the people dressed in costume were actually VISITORS and not employees). It was not pleasant. How do you say "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME" in Klingon?

Design Addict

In doing some research for work, I found a really cool website - designaddict.com. They link to some pretty incredible stuff, including some of my favorites - Alessi, Koziol, Porshe...


Egg Cup by Stefano Giovannoni for Alessi


Buy it online at Chiasso.com

Going Straight

Last week I got an email from a woman with the newspaper. She had read my blog about Thermal Reconditioning and asked if I knew of any place locally that did it, they wanted to write an article about it. Today I read the article to find out that they do it at Shear Ego. I'm a bit perterbed however, since she didn't give me a heads up notice. I had replied to her an email with "if I find anything out, I'll let you know and if you find anything out, let me know." Well, that's a find how-do-you-do, she lets me wait to read it in the newspaper and now I'll probably not only have trouble getting an appointment, but have to pay more since they'll probably jack up their prices as soon as the phone calls start rolling in. Grrr.

Who am I kidding. I can't afford it. Then again, having my hair straightening regime go from 20 minutes to 2 is worth something, isn't it?

H&M

An H&M store is opening near us at Eastview Mall. Yay. Cheap, chic clothes.

Getting Better

This weekend went much better than last. My sister is still in the hospital, but doing well. She may be in there for months, until she has the baby. They'd let her go home if she'd stay in bed, but we all know my sister - she'd try to cook, clean, rearrange furniture... so she's staying put for now.

Punky is home and appears to be doing well. He doesn't have diabetes and his kidney numbers have improved. Chuck and I learned how to inject him with fluid to keep him hydrated. Each session involves up to four injections, to spread the fluid around. We do that every day for at least the next two weeks, then it *may* go to every other day. Today was our first full try without the vet watching over us. It didn't go as well as we'd hoped. Yesterday with the Vet he didn't fuss at all, today he growled and cried. Thank God Chuck has the courage to stick him with the needle, I'm not sure I could do it. Definitely a two person job though, so I hold Punky still and try to keep him calm. Just having his fuzzy little head near mine makes life better, so I'll do whatever I can to keep him around longer.

Back to the Cold

Back from Orlando today, to 50 degree weather (which suddenly feels MUCH colder). I was having some really bad flying karma up until today, when things went more smoothly. On my flight back from Colorado last Friday, a belligerent drunk guy was yelling stuff out to anyone who would listen. I was very relieved that he wouldn't be next to me since I had checked into an empty row while he was already in the bar. Skip to the chase, the drunk guy got pulled off, almost kicked off, but they let him back on only to sit, yes... in my row. THANK GOD not directly next to me, but still. He continued to be loud and stupid, but I managed to tune him out.

Then, on my way to Orlando on Monday, I got stranded at the Charlotte airport for 10 hours. I kept contemplating calling Natalie (who lives there) but each time it seemed there would not be enough time. The two hour delays kept coming though and I what was supposed to be a 1:40pm departure turned into an 11:40 departure.

I did start to read a good book - "How to be Good" by Nick Hornsby. Same guy who wrote "About a Boy" and "High Infidelity". So far, it's very funny.

All in all, that was a rough few days.

Bad Hair Day

Got my hair cut yesterday... let my stylist try out a longer version of a "new" two-layer cut... I hate it... I look stupid - and that's with it styled by him (and he can make my hair look fabulous). When I go to style it myself I'm gonna look like I cut it myself with the help of a small bowl.

I want to call him and tell him I hate it and to re-cut it, but then I'm afraid he'll get pissed and secretly make it bad (worse) just to spite me.

I really want to get it permanently straightened. This new thermal reconditioning deal seems to be amazing. It should for $500. But alas, not offered anywhere near Rochester.

Why is it that women with curly hair want straight hair and women with straight hair want curly hair? Grass is always greener...

A Splash of Color - FINALLY

Well, we finally got our mud room painted. We've had the paint for months but have been waiting for nice weather. So yesterday, with Jenny and Aaron's help, we painted one mud room wall deep orange and the others deep dark yellow. I just finished the second coat about an hour ago. It looks pretty incredible.

Keep in mind, EVERY wall in this house and our previous house has always been white. Eleven years of white walls... over. YIPEE. I've gotten enough Metropolitan Home magazines, seen enough episodes of Changing Rooms, and watched Jenny make her house look awesome with color. So I am finally inspired to be daring.

The only bad news, I will probably eat like a pig while doing laundry - both yellow and orange are said to stimulate appetite. My only hope is to paint my kitchen violet or pink. Better yet, maybe I should get a pair of sunglasses with violet lenses. Better yet, maybe I should wear purple contacts. The Violet Contact Lens Diet... genius.... oops, sidetracked.

Soon we will be painting one wall in our bedroom cobalt blue. I think it will look incredible. It's all taped off... just need to find the time... which will be hard to do since I'm going to Denver wednesday for a couple days, then Saturday is Jenny's birthday, Sunday is Mother's Day (I'm making dinner), then Monday I leave for Orlando for a week. It's CRAZY!

Sweet Tobey

What is it with me? No blog for a week. BAD.


Saw Spiderman this weekend. Aaron kindly waited one extra day since hubby and I had my Stepdad's retirement party on Friday. I won't say too much so as not to spoil it. It was a good movie. The first half was better than the second half imho. Tobey McGuire is adorable. The upside down kiss is HOT.



My brother played basketball with Tobey quite a few times back when he lived in LA. He didn't even know he was "Tobey McGuire" for the first few weeks, says that Tobey is very down to earth and unassuming and an extremely nice guy (hmm, he didn't mention that he was a good basketball player though). Nice to know not every actor has an ego the size of a small cruise ship.

I told my Stepdad that he should take my Mom to see Spiderman. It would be fitting since the last movie they saw in the theater was Superman.... yikes.

DMB

Ok, as Jenny points out, The Dave Matthews Band broke the bands-that-start-with-the-and-end-with-band-always-fail curse.

Guster

I'm getting bad about blogging... I think the weather is depressing me. Had a good weekend though, went to see Guster with Chuck, Abby, Jenny & Aaron. They are so incredible live! It was an interesting evening, here are some highlights:

- Jenny almost got in a brawl with a girl who was leaning all over her trying to get closer to the front. Jenny said, "I'm a Taurus, I'm not budging" and eventually, the girl turned around and aplogized - shocking!

- Abby and I were getting leaned on by the girl next to us too, but we suspect she was enjoying it

- the first opening band, the Blackouts, was good, though they looked like Band Nerds trying to go cool.

- the second opening band, The Gabe something-or-other Band, sucked royale. Don't they know that their name dooms them to failure anyway? I can't think of any popular "The so-and-so Band" bands, can you?

- on the way home, Chuck got pulled over for speeding. The irony of it is that Chuck is a very conscientious driver and doesn't normally speed. He was PISSED. I was sympathetic at first, knowing that I normally DO speed so I shouldn't throw stones, but after getting one too many snotty comments, I had to point out that if I had gotten a ticket, he'd have no sympathy and would lecture me like I was his teenage daughter. He's still stressing about our insurance going up. Ah, the joys of being married to a Virgo (he did apologize though =).

Hell-p

Can't ............stop ..............eating ................Love .................... Hearts.

So fizzy, so yummy.... and the little sayings... so clever. I got a white one (my FAVORITE color) that said "MY ALL". I wanted to save it for a funny little moment - give it to someone and say, "here, I'm giving you MY ALL". Ha ha, cute... witty... NOPE. I ATE IT! Couldn't hold out.

Cruel Summer

How cruel is it to have the weather go from sunny and 85º to snowy 35º in a matter of days. That's Rochester for you.

Twisted and Bent

Though the weekend was getting colder and colder, it was very fun. Friday night we enjoyed The Don and Bill Show: Slightly Bent -short animated films by Don Hertzfeldt and Bill Plympton. Don Hertzfeld is a comic genius. I love him.

Saturday, Squib came for a visit and we enjoyed a day of shopping and sightseeing. I get a bit cynical about Rochester as an interesting destination, but there's some good stuff to see.

Saturday night we saw "The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert" at the Dryden. A wonderful movie! Even as a drag queen, Guy Pearce is hot. I want to be a drag queen. I want to wear outrageous clothes, wigs and makeup. Not all the time, just now and then.

Bleeping Bleep

We are developing an obscenity filter a project at work. To protect the brands. That said, it's pretty funny to be able to legitimately swear at work. Our developer is enjoying himself quite a bit in researching text to use to test the filter. He had a notepad full of printed pages with words such as "rubbers" highlighted in yellow.

I was going to post the list of words, but then I realized that every perv in the world would find my blog. YIKES. I have enough pervs reading it now ;-)

In a document I sent out, I needed to give examples of how the filter would work, but didn't want to really use bad words (well, I wanted to use them but knew it would be inappropriate), so I wrote this:

For integrity sake, lets assume the word "tog" is obscene and the word "beck" is also obscene and is often used in many creative ways to make additional obscene words. The user types the following message:

It is hot as beck down here in Florida. I almost got into a tog with a becking little old lady. She was a crazybeck from beckford. I hope I don’t look like a beckface in this picture.

The message would be filtered to result in the following:

It is hot as ***** down here in Florida. I almost got into a ***** with a ***** little old lady. She was a crazybeck from beckford. I hope I don’t look like a ***** in this picture.

I love my job.

Mac & Cheese

For Peppermint Tina, here is a link to the Macaroni & Cheese recipe I made. Only I used Monterey Jack instead of Muenster. And I topped it with fresh parmasan cheese (extra mmm factor).
Fabulous Recipes: Macaroni and Cheese

Here's the basic formula:
any cheese = good
more cheese = better
too much cheese = not possible

Girl Power

I read that this site, Bust, embodies the new feminist movement. Whatever the hell that is. Either way, maybe it's got some good stuff. I haven't looked through it yet. Let me know...

Grabby Rabbit

This is cool. Thanks to Tim for sharing...

grabby rabbit

The Day I Almost ate $10,000

Today was Comfort Food Day at work. We ate a ton of food. I brought in homemade baked macaroni & cheese - mmmmm. I also brought in a package of Oreos. I noted that the package advertised the chance to win $10K, so I assumed there'd be a game piece inside.



After shovelling down about 5 oreos, four with smiley faces and one with an "M" on it (briefly thinking, "odd, an m instead of a smiley face, hmmm... oh well" chomp, chomp, chomp), I wondered why I did not see a game piece. I decided to investigate further, only to realized that to win $10K, you needed to find 5 oreos that spelled out M-O-N-E-Y. OH THE HORROR!! I was dying as I inspected each remaining oreo. If I found O-N-E-Y in the package, I was going to commit Hary-Cary! Thank GOD it wasn't the case. Sarah had eaten an "M" too, so we deduced that it wasn't the winning letter.

How the HELL can they ethically have contests that involves requiring you to "keep" the actual food? They know some poor sap like me will eat first and think later and they won't have to pay. It's a ploy, a scam, and a ripoff and they deserve to be punished! I'm thinking of suing for pain and suffering for those tense moments when I thought I ate $10,000.

When I am King

This is one of the cutest & funniest online comics I've seen in a while. WARNING: It's R-rated. Thanks to Roymeo for the link (he finds the wierdest stuff =)


When I am King

Changing Rooms

Since being bedridden last week, I've become obsessed with a few shows on BBCAmerica. My absolute favorite is Changing Rooms. Neighbors, with the help of an interior designer, redo a room in the others' house in two days and with a budget of 500 pounds. They do the coolest damn things. The website has some before and after pictures. Here's one example:


BEFORE


AFTER

I'm very close to being totally inspired to actually do something to my house.

House Invaders is cool too, it's similar but they help one couple make changes throughout their house. Differences are not as dramatic.

Ground Force is interesting too, they redo a garden area, but the fact that the woman on the show goes bra-less is very disturbing. She's doing manual labor, throwing things about, with her hoo hoos flapping in the breeze (and yes, she's always cold too). On the website she even brags about it, she thinks she looks sexy. Maybe after seeing Gwyneth Paltrow at the Oscars, she'll realize it's not.

The Proximity Encounter Curse

Well, only I could be in LA on Oscars weekend and not see ONE celebrity. OK, I saw Kyle MacLachlan on his way into the Vanity Fair party but it was an oggling situation. I don't like the oggling situations, makes me feel cheesy and unimportant. I prefer an "as we passed in the grocery store I made a cute comment about freezing Peeps so you don't have to wait for them to get stale" type situation. Thus, the "proximity encounter" curse continues.

Last year I was in LA for a conference, stayed at the Beverly Hilton... home of various celebrity events. What goes on while I'm there? A tribute to Red Buttons. I see celebrities, yes... but they're all 65 or older. Oh joy.

Then, the year before that, I'm in LA for the 4th of July. Stayed at the Mondrian, a swanky Ian Schrager hotel where by day, you have a nice pool area and by night, you have the Skybar, a velvet rope night club run by Rande Gerber, hubby of Cindy Crawford. Wanted to both enjoy an exquisite hotel experience and hope to see someone cool. That day, while shopping on Melrose, I walk by Danny Bonaduce. Rather disappointing. Shouldn't Cameron Diaz be shopping on Melrose? And then, that night at the Skybar, who do I get to see? ... drumrole please...
Danny Bonaduce. I'm cursed I tell you.

I'm just betting on my next trip I'll see Gary Coleman at the Newark airport.

Debunking the California Cuisine Myth

As promised, a blog about my trip to LA. I no longer believe that LA is the healthy food capitol of the world. There is a burger joint on every corner. They have Fatburger, Astroburger, Hamburger Hamlet and, God's gift to all burger lovers, In-N-Out Burger. In-N-Out Burger is constantly mobbed. I bet even the skinny minny actresses (Jennifer Connelly, please EAT something!) go there and get a "Protein Style" - lettuce wrapped around the burger instead of a bun.

Though it was a brief trip with not enough time to hit a Jamba Juice, the two dinners I had also proved that there is rich, fattening food to be had in LA.

The first night, I went to dinner with four lovely ladies to a place Jennifer recommended -Ammo, and we ate like barbarian men. After our appetizers and soup, we ate hearty entrees - lamb chops, steak, meatloaf, porkchops and the poor vegetarian among us has risotto. We didn't stop there though, between the five of us, we got four desserts - gourmet ice cream sandwhiches, chocolate cake, mmmm. The very cute waiter was so surprised, he gave us a dessert for free with a reason something to the effect of, "you ladies really put it away".

The second night, Jamie took us to Lola's, the birthplace of the Sour Apple Martini. Their martini menu included at least 30 other choices which all sounded yummy, especially the French Kiss (with chocolate kisses) and the Clockwork Orange (with orange sherbet). If I lived in LA, I would make it my mission to try all of them. For dinner, though it could make a meal in itself, I had a side of homebaked macaroni & cheese to go with my chicken ravioli. Mmmmmm, a little bit of heaven. And again, it didn't stop there... three desserts split amoung five of us, the best being the fresh baked cookies, hot out of the oven, with a side of vanilla ice cream. Mmmmm. They ended our meal with a little tray of gumballs, which I proceed to swallow instead of chew. Some gum just needs to be swallowed, I can't stop myself.

All in all, I ate like a little piggy in LA and loved every minute of it. I can't wait to go back and have enough time to get a Jamba Juice before heading back to Lola's for more mac & cheese and a Clockwork Orange.

The Details

So some of you are wondering what happened to me. Basically it's this - problems in the baby making department. So on Monday, I was put under and had a Laproscopy, where they checked around my organs via two incisions, one at my lower abdomen and one in my belly button (which really FREAKS ME OUT - I have b.b. issues - thank God I was out cold!). Doc found a little endometriosis, got rid of it. Found alot of scarring in my uterus, cleaned it up. So, perhaps in the next few months, will get prego. Not that I'm totally ready for that, but I think I am. And after seeing how good Chuck was at waiting on me hand and foot, I feel confident that he'll take damn good care of me when I'm as big as a house and demanding Krispy Kremes at 3am, not to mention taking care of a little one.

So that's that. I'm still hobbling a little and still in a good bit of pain, but I'm also receiving cards and flowers and gifts and well-wishes from my wonderful family and friends which is priceless. I am blessed.

Ow Ow Ow

Ok, I didn't have time to write my posts and then went in for surgery. Now I am in some harsh pain and can't sit up for too long without feeling like a teenager at camp on Friday the 13th (ie, I feel like someone is stabbing me in the shoulder, stomach, and right butt cheek). Can't complain about the sleep though, getting lots of it and it's nice to just doze off whenever I feel like it. Chucky is taking stellar care of me too. The cynical side of me wants to say, "he damn well better, I'm the one going through the pain", but really I just feel very lucky and very loved by him and I know that if it could be him instead of me, he would gladly trade places.

OK, gotta go lay down now... will try again tomorrow.

Gone But Not Forgotten

Ok, I've been gone since last Sunday. I'm finally back but too tired. Will post tomorrow... topics to inlcude "Debunking the California Cuisine Myth", "The Proximity Encounter Curse" and "Flying in Style"...

The Envelope Please

Jenny was surprised to find out that the Oscar nominees receive gift baskets. Oh YES, they receive quite the basket of loot... Even those who PRESENT an Oscar get a basket worth about $20K. Barely a drop in the bucket for them, but hey, I tend to want to believe that no matter how rich you are, you always love getting free gifties. Apparently, things that are "bejeweled" are preferred. Here's some of what they're getting:


A Victoria Secret Bejeweled Bra


Motorola V70 cellphone. Hey, you can win one at motorola.com


Coach custom made director chairs

Then the presenters get stuff like this:
- Ebel stainless steel watches
- Tag Heuer Sport Vision sunglasses
- Loveletters Loungewear
- Free visit for BriteSmile Whitening treatment
- Tempur-Pedic mattress (gift certificate)
- Birkenstock shoes
- Piquadro cigar and flask holder
- Frette robe
and more...

andThings

I found a really cool blog that is linking to me... all the way from the UK. andThings. I know "Suzie" is cool because she's going to Ozzfest and she posted the words to Chop Suey by System of a Down.

BTW, if you haven't seen "The Osbournes" on Mtv, you really should, it is HILARIOUS. Ozzie is very funny. Here are a couple of zingers he's thrown out:

[To his son, who he can't hear] "I've been standing next to 35000 decibels me whole life... write me a f**kin note."

[To his wife, after discussing the problem of all his dogs - 6 of them - pooping all over the house] "I'm not picking up another turd... (pause)... I'm a rock star."

[As the dog therapist, Tamara, is leaving the house] "See ya tommorra."

My Flavor

I took the flavor test on Emode... I am Pink Grapefruit. Kindof a load of crap, but here's the description:

"Mmm ... pink grapefruit! Sweet and tart at the same time, you're bursting with sun-kissed goodness. If you were a song, you'd be "It's a Sunshine Day" by the Brady Bunch — you're just that perky and refreshing. That's not to say that you don't have an edge — quite the contrary. In fact, a little bit of sugar (aka gifts, praise, and other goodies) can always bring out your naturally sweet flavor. But when it comes down to it, you prefer folks who can match you in strength and independence. Luckily, that kind of attitude is appealing, so you always have 'em wanting more. Citrusy, tangy, and a little exotic, you're a truly tasty treat. "

What's your flavor?