The Daily Bite

Creepy Characters

My recent visit to Disney reminded me that people in costume freak me out. Not normal people dressed up for Halloween or Drag Queens, but people who's job it is to walk around in costume and in character.

It stems from an incident when I was 15, visiting DisneyWorld for the first time. Pluto wrapped that big old paw around me and... well... grabbed my butt. I didn't realize at the time that people in costume can barely see and are probably on the verge of unconsciousness from the heat generated inside, so the damage was done. I assumed that inside all those costumes were pervs waiting to fondle some unsuspecting young girl.

Here is some evidence:

Donald is looking right at my chest.

So beside from worrying that they're pervs, I don't know what to say to someONE, someTHING, that either doesn't talk back at all or talks back is some wierd persona. How the hell am I, your average middle America suburbanite, supposed to relate to a Klingon? This very dilemma presented itself to me a few years back at the Star Trek Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton and I had not yet studied up at The Klingon Language Institute. (It was bad enough that half the people dressed in costume were actually VISITORS and not employees). It was not pleasant. How do you say "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME" in Klingon?