The Daily Bite

Made it through Christmas. Lots of good mixed with broken heartedness and anxiety. Had the family over on friday... not used to having so many people... or any for that matter, but... it went fairly well, but not without drama... Stepdad (and his no-show "new" woman) and Stepbrother (who didn't feel invited even though I didn't even know he was going to be in town) and my drug-addicted-perverted-tank-top-wearing-in-the-middle-of-winter Uncle.

I just thank God I have some truly wonderful people in my life that I can get through. Though I still wish Mom were here to comfort me.

In knowing that all this drama would upset Mom, I resolved myself to believing that in Heaven, souls have no feelings other than happiness. So Mom cannot feel regret or guilt or anger or sadness. So though she sees us, she doesn't worry about what goes on here on earth, she is at peace.

Last night I started to read "The Five People You Meet in Heaven". In it, the main character (who dies), experiences that exact thing - no pain, no sadness, no regret, only peace. I know it is fiction, but it brought me comfort to have my ideas reinforced. I'm only a bit in to it, but so far, it is a good book.