Lauren had to have a pH probe put in today to see how bad her reflux is. I don't think she really needed it because she's been alot better the last week or two, but the dr. wanted to go ahead.
So she had to have this wire tube thing down her nose into her esophogas and wear little arm restraints so she couldn't pull it out. It has to stay in for 24 hours. Things at the hospital always take so long that not only is the kid extremely agitated by being poked and prodded, she's starving.
So she was SCREAMING bloody murder - the Birth Control Cry - and would NOT be consoled. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The harder she cried, the more I began to cry.
Why can't I act like the over-35 adult that I should be? My therapist and I are working on that.
4 comments:
Goodness knows I've had my share of 34-year-old breakdowns right along with our bub. The nurses at the pediatrician's office tell me that blubbering post-visit mothers are *entirely* normal, though, so no worries!
If you ask me, you're acting exactly the way you should be! Any mother would be heartbroken having to go through that ordeal. As a mother you want to protect your precious little baby, and you must've felt helpless hearing her crying. Totally normal, totally expected, so please don't be hard on yourself :)
I'll tell you what I tell my mom when I've defended myself for crying (I cry at card tricks): You can be brave and still cry. YOU especially! You're in a situation that you have to trust the higher-ups and you can do little but be there, it's frustrating! AND you can't explain to Lauren what's going on so hearing her cry pushes ALL the buttons. Just have your own supply of tissues on hand, hospital tissues sound oh-so rough.
(Though if your therapist has any tips, PLEASE send them my way. The tears do get old at times.)
Hang in there T.
love, ab
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