The Daily Bite

I am so on the verge of plummetting off the wagon. We're talking going to Pellegrinos and getting a large Buffalo Chicken sub and eating the whole thing while washing it down with a giant NON-DIET Pepsi, then swinging by Krispy Kreme and getting a dozen glazed for dessert, followed by running in to *bux for a Venti Mocha Frappucino to perk me up... maybe waiting an hour or two, then polishing off the three packages of peeps that have been hibernating in my freezer for months. I'd slip some chocolate in there too, perhaps a Heath bar or a Clark bar or a Butterfinger or a Zagnut. I might also take the time to whip up a batch of brownies, cook half the batter, eat the other half raw (salmonella be damned), then gobble down the cooked ones. I'm sure I'd also have to make some vanilla cake batter and eat it up like pudding. Then I'd sleep for three days, wake up and think I was dreaming, but the cake-batter encrusted drool on my chin would let me know that it was all real.