The Daily Bite

I used to be so much funnier in my blogs. Harsh reality: I've lost my wit. I was looking back to the beginning and found this gem. Is it horrible to replay a blog? Isn't it like watching Seinfeld reruns... you probably already saw it, but it's still funny? Anyway, here's a really long one I posted back in September 2000:

Food Fantasies
Joel insisted I rename my blog something to do with food because everything I write relates to food somehow. It's true, I am obsessed with food. It's not so much that the actual eating is out of control, it's more the thoughts of the food. The food fantasies, if you will.

I can't stop thinking about food. When do I get to eat again? What will I eat next? Is it lunchtime yet? Don't I have brie in the fridge at home? Ooooh, must drive home fast! What festivals are coming up so I can get Kettle Korn? Do I hear the Dinosaur BBQ calling my name? If I don't eat a marshmallow peep soon, I think I'll die. These types of thoughts are constantly floating around in my head at any given moment. Maybe that's why I like to sleep so much, it's the only time I can escape the food fantasies.

I really should weigh alot more than I do. Luckily, I manage to temper the internal monster and actually control my eating habits pretty well, maybe because I spend so much time thinking about it, I don't actually need to eat so much. But if people really knew what was going on in the head of this skinny* little girl, they'd be shocked.

To be honest, I'm a bit worried. A Krispy Kreme donut shop is opening here in Rochester in December. I keep hearing raves about how good Krispee Kremes are, the fantasies have started... Jenny and I are planning a party for the day they open. I fear that I will become weak and succomb... I can see myself now... A cold december day... "hmmm, I really should take 390 instead of 590 to work today, I think traffic will be better. Oh geez, look at that, I think I need some gas, I'll just get off at Jefferson Road and filler up. Ooohhhh, lookee here, I just happened to go to the Mobil right next to Krispy Kreme. I bet everyone at work would be thrilled to have me bring in some donuts. OK, I'll take 3 dozen." arriving at work... "Hey everyone, I brought in a dozen Krispee Kremes so if you want one, hurry up and grab one." My thighs are scared too. I equate my thighs to the big ball of evil in the movie "The 5th Element"... EVIL BEGETS EVIL. The Krispee Kremes attack! My thighs grow, threatening the safety of all around them! Be afraid. Be very afraid.

*I don't really consider myself skinny, but it sounded right for the story.