SIGN MY GUESTBOOK

I finally have a guestbook! The site didn't seem to like my woodstock.com email and wouldn't send me a password. Hotmail worked like a charm, so please SAY something to me.

Put me in the Movies

While walking by the Pixar booth at SIGGRAPH, I couldn't help but notice that they are hiring for a User Interface Engineer. My heart raced - how cool would it be to work for Pixar!!?? Then I look at the qualifications - they want a damn programmer. I was DUPED. They are totally CLUELESS about UI. Just because a computer geek can code an interface (and they ALL can), doesn't make them a User Interface expert. So apparently, they want someone to make an interface for their software, but it doesn't have to be easy to use or meet the user's needs or provide a good experience. Poor, poor animators. No wonder they're all a bit strange in a mad scientist kind of way - they have to struggle through software interfaces designed by a Linux programmer. Rant over. Thank You. Sorry if I offended any computer geeks, animators, or mad scientists.

Breakfast

Well today was the 2nd time Jo, Steve and I ate at The Pantry - a greasy spoon restaurant with big, cheap breakfasts. We chowed down, eating enough to sustain us through to dinner. I am still VERY full and it's been 5 hours since I ate (I'm usually starving within 2-3 hours of a meal). I had French toast, fried eggs, toast, and hash browns. Jo ate pancakes and eggs and hash browns. Steve ate less than both of us! I took a before and after picture, but haven't found a spot to download yet. I think Jo has a wooden leg. I myself just have a cavernous gut.

Cute Asian Girl

Oh, and did anyone else notice that someone found Jenny's blog by doing a search for "cute asian girl"? Does this mean that Jenny specifically called herself a "cute asian girl" or does that mean she wrote "cute bunny poster" and "asian ceramic bowls" and "the girl had blue hair" and they found her that way?

I guess I should follow Aaron and Jenny's lead and find creative ways to boost my traffic.

Free sex pictures. There, that should do it.

More Babblings

This place is so wired, it's the Mac Daddy. Get it, Mac Daddy - Mac computer - wired... ha ha. Ok, not funny. I'm on a quick break, have more to say...

I just drank an ENTIRE Diet Coke - and I actually liked it. This is monumental!! I've always DESPISED diet pop, but I gave it a shot since I've been otherwise eating decent and walking and climbing stairs alot. I think I may be able to make the switch. I will save thousands of calories a year! I will weigh 5 pounds less in 3 years from the calorie savings alone! I have been saved!

Oh, but then there's the Bacardi 151 I added to my Diet Coke, some calories there... I have been drinking heavily since I got here. I'm drunk now. I think I have a problem. By tomorrow I think I will have to check into rehab. Jenny, do you know the name of the place Ben Affleck checked into... that should be here in LA and should be as good as any. ;-)

SIGGRAPH

SIGGRAPH is in full swing and I'm here dabbling in stuff mostly irrelevant to work I've done up until now... in an effort to make it relevant. (For those who don't know, SIGGRAPH is a conference on Computer Graphics, 3D, Animation, etc... I am a User Interface Designer, concerned mostly with making apps easy to use) Then again, even the conferences I've been to in my field have mostly irrelevant stuff.

Ugly Donkey:

Yesterday was a cool session with the creators of Shrek. One problem, it was more the computer programmers who wrote the tools for the animation rather than the artists, but still interesting. I didn't like Shrek because the Donkey was ugly. Yep, that's my whole basis for not liking it. They really should've gone with a much cuter Donkey, which would have resulted in millions more $$ in both ticket and merchandise sales. Didn't they do any focus groups? Anyway, they did show the flub up where a new engineer screwed up some code that messed with the hair length on the donkey and he looked like a complete fuzzball until they fixed it. Thing is, he was much cuter as a fuzzball with no features. Oh well.

Today is "Intro to Computer Graphics". Thought I'd get a complete overview of the basics to ground myself. One problem, it's all about 3D graphics, cart before the horse so to speak, but still interesting.

This conference definitely has alot more interesting looking people, as opposed to UIST (last year's conference) where there were mostly people who had "I'm a computer geek" tattood on their foreheads.

Well, time to go pay $95 for a pizza and a coke for lunch. Mmmm...

I Love LA... NOT

Well, I'm here in LA... Did I grab a cup of cappucino and strike up a conversation with Benjamin Bratt? Nope. Did I eat fried eggs at Mel's Drive-In and hear Cameron Diaz talking with her agent the next booth over? Didn't happen. Did I spot Vince Vaugh buying gifts for his girl at Trashy Lingerie? No such luck. Did I find myself riding the elevator in the Beverly Hilton with so much as Gary Coleman? Not a chance in hell. I have not seen one single person even remotely resembling someone famous. I think I have a force field around me that drives them away. The stupid part is, I don't want to get their autograph, take a picture with them, or even necessarily talk to them (though this would be ok if it was a normal, natural conversation... not "OH my GOD, you are so great..." it would have to be more like, "yeah, I know, can you believe we don't have them in where I live [read: Jamba Juice]"), I just want to SEE them.

I did get to visit some very cool shops on Melrose, and enjoyed a Jamba Juice - a definite highlight. Cindy and John came up from San Diego and we had a good time, it was great to see them again. Had they not come up, I would have had a lonely Saturday night in LA since my brother bailed on me (though he has been calling every one of his LA friends bugging them to entertain his little sister).

As for LA, surprisingly it does not seemed to be filled with size 0 girls, there are all shapes and sizes here... thank GOD.

OK, conference time... more later.

HELL

Holy crap, it's 101 degrees here today. ONE HUNDRED AND ONE - in ROCHESTER! I'll be glad to get to LA where it will be a cool 80 degrees!

La La Land

I leave for LA in a couple days and pre-travel insomnia and procrastination are in full swing... You would think that if I'm not tired, I'd do the things I need to get done. Nope, I'm an 11th hour kind of girl. So I'll probably be up until 3am thursday night doing laundry, paying bills, cleaning and packing.

I wasn't sure what the "style" is in LA, so I had my brother make some calls. I know I shouldn't care what those pretentious-carb-hating-stick-thin-rich-beautiful-shallow people think, but I don't want to stand out like a little match girl either. So my bro asked some of his chick friends in LA and they said - it's not what you wear, it's how you wear it - just have the right attitude. Does that mean act like you're God's gift even if you're wearing Kathy Ireland jeans from Kmart because you can't afford Frankie B. jeans? I somehow doubt it.

Apparently, from the looks of this ad, Frankie B. jeans are worth the money! (~$120/pair)


Then he added, "but chunky shoes are out". Dammit, I love chunky shoes. I read on the web that platforms are out, but are platforms the same as chunky?

OUT:

More importantly, chunky shoes are a helluva lot more comfortable than heels. And I'm all about comfort... there's no way I'm hobbling around on heels all day. I'd rather wear sneakers... yeah, the sortof cute ones with no heel...

IN??:

Batty

Jenny posted pictures of ugly bats. Not the whole story, there are many cute bats out there. Such as Stella, a Flying Fox (fruit bat):



And this adorable little guy who looks like a chihuahua with a little leather jacket on:



See, they're even cuter in print:

Bad Me

Bad me for not blogging in so long, but it's been a busy week. Grizzy is doing well after the emergency room visit. Tuesday was the bats at Bellydancing. Jenny leaves out that she screamed like a banshee, "shut the dooooooor" as she trampled my hand. It was rather hilarious.

Thursday we went to see Planet of the Apes. Marky Mark should've gotten half naked because his acting merits just don't cut it. It's all about the biceps, baby.

Friday was Abby's birthday and we made a night of it. Jenny actually had the equivalent of 1 margarita. This is big, because Jenny doesn't normally drink as she is actually somewhat allergic. Well, no problems on Friday night with the margarita and we were all treated to a livelier version of normal Jenny.

Snuck in the Park Ave Fest, Andy's party, and dinner with Sis and her fiance over the weekend.

I had a frozen chocolate covered banana from Abbots, they are obscene to eat, but they taste too good to be vain about it. I just keep the wrapper on as long as I can. I dropped a piece of chocolate and managed to sit on it, so I had this big brown smear on the back of my shorts... oh lovely.

Emergency Vets

Grizzy (my Black Lab) had to go to the emergency room yesterday. I won't get into the gory details, but he was a hurtin puppy. He was so good with the vet though, I was impressed. The vet poked and prodded him all over the place (now I know why I didn't want to become a vet) and Grizzy didn't snap, snarl or whimper even once. The vet said that he probably got stressed at the kennel. Now I wonder if we will have to give him Valium each time he goes to the kennel. Then I'll have a drug addicted dog like Brian on The Family Guy. He'll be saying, "hey, you two look like you need a vacation. Just give me my Valium, drop me off at the kennel, and everything will be aaaaaaallll right."

Back on the Wagon

Well, I didn't throw the golf tournament. As a matter of fact, I sunk a 5-foot putt for an eagle. For those of you who have no clue about golf, just know that it was a very good thing!

Other than golf, the weekend was mostly spent eating, which is a damn shame because I was good all last week and had even dropped a couple pounds. First, after golf there was a buffet dinner (buffet = eat until you want to die). I didn't pig out though, but I did have one piece of very greasy fried chicken, mmmm. Sunday was another story. The inlaws took us to Brunch - the most dangerous meal to a food-addicted dieter (me). I did pig out, eating more in one sitting than I had been eating in a whole day - and washed it all down with a french vanilla capuccino (aka, a cup of crack). I feared that it would spark my addictive behaviour and I'd be stopping night and day for a cup of crack, but I've been good. Yesterday and today I've been back on the wagon - but leary… I hear the little miniature candy bars calling to me - teeeeeeeeeena, teeeeeeeeena, we know you want us. They are to me what 'Nsync is to millions of teenage girls - craved but forbidden.

OW!

On the drive up to the 1000 Islands (where I am now), Chuck rolled the window up on my finger. I really wasn't hurt that bad, but the shock of having the window move suddenly and seeing it smoosh my finger, combined with the sharp stinging pain, caused an instant sobbing reaction. I felt like a five year old. The weird part is even though I immediately started crying, I was also cracking up because it was pretty funny. Chuck almost crashed from laughing, then, after a brief insincere apology, began to insist it was my fault... getting mad at ME for sticking my fingers out the window (I was throwing crumbs out). He says he looked over, I was not near the window, then turned back and hit the button, then heard "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" (my scream).

I will seek revenge. We are in a golf tournament tomorrow and I think my injured finger will have a negative impact on my performance and cause our team to come in last. I am also going to submit him for the Heinous Husband Award that they do in Redbook or Family Circle or one of those silly magazines. He doesn't do wrong or bad things too often, but this ones a doozy.

Nobody crushes my finger with a power window and blames me... NOBODY...

Tina Fact #2

I have a apiphobia - fear of bees.

The Buzz on Bees

I inherited my apiphobia from my Grandmother who didn't even go to the family reuinion because it was outdoors. Her life revolves around avoiding bees. I'm not that bad (yet?).

At lunch outside last week, I fled from the table a few times as we had the unwelcomed "visitors". Everyone tried to talk me out of being afraid, including Joel... I had to remind them that a key ingredient in a phobia is IRRATIONALITY. Sad to say, it will take more than the advice of my good friends "not to be afraid" to cure me, it will take heavy duty psychotherapy that I am not willing to commit to. I'm not afraid of the pain of a sting (though I've never been stung), I'm not afraid of stuffed bees, cartoon bees or even dead bees. Just ones that are within a 20 foot radius of me and airborne. Little bees, those gigantic bees (the kind that supposedly don't sting), large flies that can be mistaken for bees, wasps, and let's not even discuss the killer bees, ugh!

Ironically, Joel got stung this weekend. He is allergic. He doesn't have apiphobia because his fear is real, not irrational... but he will be running away from the table with me nonetheless.

Got to see Natalie yesterday, a good friend and former coworker who moved down to DC. Why do all my friends move away? Never mind, I know the answer to that. Rochester pretty much sucks - especially in winter!! The real question is, why don't I move away? Natalie looked great! She is a skinny-minny now - said it's from the medication she's taking, she couldn't eat dairy (and she's an even bigger cheese fanatic than me!!). I say, pass me some of that medication please!

Hung with Mom and sis (Sherri) last night too. Mom is on medication and seemed drunk... slow, slurred speech. Sad and funny at the same time. We took her to get her hair cut and she asked the girl to cut it like "Tina Turner but not as floppy". I think the girl thought she was insane until I mentioned the medication.

I also had to buy my dress for Sherri's wedding. While I was at the bridal store, they were playing the song Butterfly Kisses - a Dad singing about his little girl and how she's all grown up and getting married. I started bawling in the dressing room. The memories of losing my Dad just before my wedding combined with knowing he also wouldn't be there for Sher's wedding, not to mention how proud (and shocked ;-) he would have been to see Eddie get married... it was too much to take. I think Sher thought I was crying because I thought I looked fat in the dress. Actually, the dress looked pretty nice - but I'm definitely going to need some of those super-spandex-suck-everything-in-and-smooth-it-out type pantyhose.

On that note, I'll add my new feature:

Tina Fast Fact #1

My Dad owned a motorcycle shop in 1973 where he sold Harley's to the local Hells Angels. They became fast friends and from the age of 4 to 10, I was surrounded by big burly tatooed bikers, loud Harley's, drinking, gambling, and drugs. It's a miracle I'm normal.

Cravings

My food addiction is getting the best of me. After eating Kettle Korn for dinner AND dessert on Monday, I had a good day on Tuesday and thought I was back on track (I'm trying to drop a few pounds before going to LA). But then, on Wednesday, Jenny and I ate at a local diner (Jine's) and I (against my better judgment but weak and hungry) ordered a hamburger... which came with chips. Normally one might be disappointed with chips instead of fries, but not me. See, I LOVE to put potato chips on grilled burgers. It was DEEELICIOUSO, well worth the 3000 calories it contained... delicious enough to spur my need for more, more, more. So last night at our group picnic, I had ANOTHER burger with chips on it. It wasn't as good as the one from Jine's and left me wanting. So today at lunch, guess what I HAD TO HAVE. Yep, a burger with chips on it. That's three days in a row!! And the one today wasn't so great so here I am.... debating whether to ask Abby if she wants to eat at Jine's tonight before East End Fest. I need an intervention. I'm also flooded with thoughts of fried eggs and toast. Must have fried eggs and toast. Must have fried eg... DAMMIT! Damn food addiction! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!

I think the only thing that will break my current downward spiral is a trip to the gym. Which I HAD been planning for tomorrow, but I have to wait for the cable guy in the morning and just got in under the wire with my hairdresser for tomorrow afternoon. He's only in town one week a month, the rest of the time he's in NYC - and tomorrow is his last day here until August. My friend Donna called him a "little bitch" - he is rather snotty at times, but I like what he does with my hair. I usually leave there feeling like a supermodel. A supermodel with a double chin and a fat ass, but GREAT hair!

Palm Animals

Jenny just commented that all of her animals are smaller than her hand. I find that funny.

Flickersuck

Well, hubby and I went to see Flickerstick, the winners of VH1 Bands on the Run... and they should keep running... away. They weren't horrible, but they sounded pretty bad - which I think was mostly due to the sound system configuration, not their musical talent. The guitars were too twangy and all the music kind of just blended into this painful lump. The opening band, Greenwheel, was actually very good, I enjoyed catching their show. Overall, glad it was only six bucks.

No Liquid Love

Oh, and just to clarify, though Liquid Boy links to me, I am NOT "The Rochester girl" that he is corresponding with! And if anyone wants me to prove it, just listen to me sing.

Fry Fry Away

For those who do not partake in festival food (you know who you are), let me explain Butterfly Fries. They are curly potato chips, apparently made with some type of rotato machine that peels the potato into a long, interconnected flat corkscrew type deal (envision someone peeling an apple all in one piece). Quite delicious. Then again, you could probably deep fry peas and they'd taste good. I HATE PEAS!

Liquid Love

I'm so excited, Liquid Boy links to me on his blog. I think it may be my first link from someone who doesn't actually know me. And he writes beautiful poetry. I am inspired to write some of my own poetry:

this wall of envy
crashes over my soul
I bleed
I heal
I am whole

I don't know what he sees in my blog, but I'm flattered. I can't help but wonder if he IS someone we know, but who is blogging secretly... hmmmm...

Running to Rochester

Tonight Chuck and I are going to see Flickerstick, the band that won VH1 Bands on the Run. A reality show that pitted four bands against each other and filmed the whole way. So though they were drunk and beligerent most of the time, they seem like a pretty good band - so for $6 bucks I'll check them out.

Scary

This was an action-packed weekend... Friday night went & saw a few local bands... Saturday hit the gym for the first time in eons and in a little bit of life-imitating-art (with art being cheesy romance novels), my personal trainer was a major hunk... blue eyes, bulging muscles, NICE. Luckily, hubby is fine with "look but don't touch", so he didn't mind that I ogled. So after doing cybex exercises, I did the elliptical running thingy for 3 hours. Oh, did I say 3 hours... I meant 20 minutes, it only FELT like 3 hours. After all that I managed to muster up enough strength to get my ass kicked by Abby in a game of tennis. It was fun though. Later that night we went to see Scary Movie 2. It was quite disgusting and therefore, IMHO, quite hilarious. Sunday, while quite enjoyable with a visit to the Corn Hill Festival, was a dark day for my healthy eating habits. It started with an innocent bite of a funnel cake and ended with a kettle korn feeding frenzy - with me damning myself for not buying two large bags. In between, I had chicken-on-a-stick, liquid sugar mixed with strawberries (a smoothie), some butterfly fries, and pepperoni pizza. That might have been ok if I'd stopped there, but the next day I had kettle korn for dinner, then some fried eggs, and kettle korn for dessert. I am doing better today, but the night is young. Yes, I've had a relapse with my kettle korn addiction, but I'll try to get back off the stuff somehow.

Mystery Solved

In an update to yesterday's blog, Jenny explained to me that the coffee stand that has the "pay it forward" tradition happening only serves one kind of coffee... (though it was fun coming up with wacky theories.

Growing Pains

Jenny beamed an app to my Handspring last week that calculates your ideal weight. Immediately it told me I should weight 10 pounds less. "Thank you oh omnipotent Handspring... oops, didn't mean to drop you on your head and remove your batteries. Oh, and tell me something I don't know." Seriously though, I have been "expanding" for some time now and the number of pants that I can no longer wear is growing. I have some that I won't even attempt to try on, some that I can't button and some that I can get on but I look like a hoochie. On top of that, I'm going to LA in a month where everyone is a size 0 and even if I lose 10 pounds I will still be the chubbiest girl there... plus my Sister is getting married in 14 weeks and picked out an oh-so-slinky-and-clingy dress for me to wear as the Matron of Honor. UGH, that sounds so horrible, I feel so old... but that's another story.

So anyway, I really need to get back to my smaller self... so I've been eating healthier and laying off the junk. It's a drastic change, but that's taking in to account the fact that, up until a few days ago, I was eating Kettle Korn on a daily basis, chowing on hot dogs and s'mores and eating at Bahama Breeze once a week. So I've been doing good and not even having cravings... shocking. When Jenny brought in caramel and nut covered marshmallows today, I was pleased to find that I did not have the urge to shove them all in my mouth before anyone else could have any (as was my normal modus operandi). Jenny, however, was not nearly as pleased considering she had anticipated that I might resist based on the caloric intake involved and had calculated that there was but a mere 87 calories each. I still resisted, moreso because I wasn't sure I'd like the given combo... so though I felt bad disappointing Jenny, I am proud of my will power. I don't think I could have been so strong in the face of a bowl of JFKK (Jenny's Faux Kettle Korn).

On a related note, I've been drinking LOTS and LOTS of Pineapple Orange Crystal Light.... which is this nuclear glowing orange color... and now I feel yucky. If I start radiating orange light, I'm going to get really scared.

Pay it Forward

I just paid to have Daniela's blog ad free. Jenny told me that this trend was going around where people were paying to have other blogs made ad free, so I thought I'd do my part and do it for Yelli. I wonder how long before she notices =)

In the same vein, Jenny also told me about a coffee place in Somewhere USA where, one day, someone was feeling extra generous and decided to pay for the coffee of the person behind them in the drive thru and then THAT person paid for the one behind them and so on and so on... and this tradition has been carried on for over 100 years (ok, I don't remember the details... but a LONG time).

This makes me wonder... what if a very generous person in front of me forks over $3.50 to pay for my Grande Cafe Mocha but I can only scrounge up $1.50 in crusty quarters from the floor of my '87 Buick and besides, the person behind me looks like a $1.25-small-regular-coffee kind of person, so I cheap out and give $1.50? Does this throw the whole process off? Do the clerks keep the extra if generous-guy-in-front-of-me pays $3.50 but I only get a Jones Soda for $2.00? Did the clerks start this whole thing in an effort to skim cashola to pay for the ever increasing cost of their Ecstasy habit? I need more details.

Insane Heidi

Well, I definitely have to disagree with Angry Heidi about Family Guy. Any show that includes a game called "catch the naked greased up deaf guy" and a dog that's hooked on smack gets my vote as Must See TV. It's no Real World, but it's quality humor.

Almost Famous

I went to Guster's home page (my favorite band) today and they've done a slight redesign. The BIG news is that the three pictures on their home page of each guy (Ryan, Adam and Brian) are the pictures I took when I met them at the WBER studio. Yes, that's right, I'm almost famous as a photographer of almost famous rock stars. WOO HOO!!

Last week was a very good week.

It started out Monday with the Travis concert. Abby won tickets and invited me along. Emiliana Turrini opened up, she danced like a freak (though probably considered normal in Iceland). Imagine someone raising their arms as if to pull of a t-shirt... elbows high in the air, then imagine their head bobbing to the side as if they were rubbing their cheek against a baby they were holding very high... now picture them doing this without the baby... that was Emiliana. Now I need to find out if this is all the rage at the clubs in Iceland.

Travis came on next and put on a great show. Renewed my interest in them since I'd bought their CD over 6 months ago but hadn't listened to it much. Then Dido played, but by then, Ab and I were freezing since the temp had dropped about 20 degrees. So we bailed shortly after Dido started. I have to admit though, the most fun was watching the people. There are some doozies out there.

Tuesday was the season premier of The Real World. Yes, sadly enough, I have watched every season and plan to continue. Already I don't care for Coral, she's too harsh and unforgiving.

Wednesday (Happy 4th of July) we had a great picnic with "the clan" from work. Jenny got to go into full Martha mode and use all her acoutraments. She was very happy about this. As soon as we put out the food, she grabbed one of her little mesh food tents and said, voice trembling with excitement, "what can I use this on?" Later we went to the fireworks downtown, it was fun until we got stuck in traffic for an hour. Luckily I was all hyped up on a little slice of French Vanilla Capuccino heaven.

Thursday we (me, Abby, Jenny and Aaron) headed downtown again to catch a free concert of The Tripping Billies (v.g.) and the Samples (v.v.g.). It was a great concert but even better people watching. I hate to admit it, but I love to talk about people. Luckily, everyone else was also up for this and we had some nice chuckles. I really miss having Daniela around because she is the absolute best at noticing and pointing out people who needed commenting on.

Friday Chuck and I headed up to the 1000 Islands... uneventful.

Saturday Chuck and I went and got facials. Oh joyous God in Heaven... facials are wonderful. The pampering, the relaxation, and, let's be honest - letting someone else squeeze your pimples... it's all good. While the aestetician was doing "extraction" on my face, she said, "you have geooorgeeouuss skin". I'm not sure how, in the midst of squeezing god-knows-what disgusting crud out of my pores, she got the impression that I had nice skin... but ok... thanks. Their advice? Use sunscreen every day (as I've been practicing and preaching for years) but also, new to me, exfoliate every day. Great, more to add to my regimen.

On Top of the World

I had been bugging Jenny for some time now to move me up in her flog list (friends who blog). With more and more friends starting blogs and her list in alphabetical order, I was moving lower and lower... apparently Jenny doesn't have any friends named Vivian or even Zack. Then when Sarah started a blog, I really turned up the heat (via whining alot). I threatened to change my name to Aaa, which would be the only way I would EVER get to the top of the list ahead of Aaron. I couldn't even change it to Aass, he'd still have me beat. So Jenny caved and moved me to the top, throwing her alphabetical scheme out the window. I was EXTREMELY pleased for about 5 minutes, then the reality hit me and I started to feel the pressure... what did I get myself into?

TGIF

It's Friday, that is soooo wonderful. I'm going to stay up until 2am, then sleep until noon, like I do most weekends. Can't help it, it's genetic... I'm a night owl.

I am happy to be ad free. This will motivate me to do something more unique with the design of my sight... eventually.

I have nothing witty to say for today, but for a very good chuckle, read Daniela's blog.

AD FREE

I'm free, I'm free (advertisement free, that is)! At least I will be soon...

The Weekend

Friday night rented Miss Congeniality. Seems that Sandra Bullock can be made to go from homely to gorgeous just by plucking her eyebrows (see also "Love Potion #9"). Oh, and Benjamin Bratt... well HELLO... didn't know he was hiding such a nice bod under his suits.

Saturday went to Bahama Breeze (yum) with Jenny, Aaron and Abby, then we went to see Evolution. I liked the movie, but cringed heavily during some of the worm scenes (YUCK), so did Abby as she yanked her feet up off the floor, seemingly SURE some creepy crawly was going to wiggle it's way between her toes. Also rented "Oh Brother Where Art Thou" with George Clooney and John Turturro... I like him though I'm not sure what else I've seen him in.

Sunday was a day of "around the house". Planted more flowers. Touched a slug that was on one of the flower containers. Screamed like a girl.

Monday

Today I had to endure a 5 hour meeting...very painful... those quarterly meetings put me in a very bad mood and make me question my mediocre existence at a major corporation. They make me feel like I should be doing something more interesting, like putting on my leotard preparing to dazzle the crowd as I stick my head into the lions mouth... or something like that.

Incredibly Insightful Joel

I had given Joel the nickname "shitcan Joel" because he tends to... let's say... question the validity of an idea. In most cases he has very valid points that stem from experience and rationality. But it certainly is fun to call him "shitcan Joel", even if he IS right.

Today I was reminded that he and Jenny are in a contest through Herman Miller that could win them 3 Aeron chairs... and I'm pining for that third chair. I realized rather quickly that calling him "shitcan Joel" will not earn me enough, if any, good-grace points to get the chair, so I am giving him a new nickname, "Incredibly Insightful Joel".

I hope that, along with the fact that I am his Rosie's Pizzelle supplier, will help my case.

The Morning After

Well, after yesterday's festivities, today is a bit of a letdown. The E.A.T. Team will have to work hard to out-do ourselves. If you have any great ideas, let me know...

Oh, and Jo pointed me to a really cool trailer for the upcoming Pixar movie Monsters, Inc.. Check it out!

Flamingos on Parade

We had the unveiling of Flamingos on Parade at work today. (Background: as part of the Employee Action Team, we came up with this idea in honor of the Horses on Parade around Rochester. Sixty people in kodak.com signed up to receive and re-invent a pink lawn flamingo) The results were amazing! Some really impressive work on the flamingos. We also threw a party, handed out leis (or as I like to say, gave everyone a cheap lei), made smoothies, provided pizza and ice cream cake.

I think our coworkers think we're on a mission to fatten them up. What they don't realize is that a good portion of the E.A.T. team (oh, the irony) are actually food addicts and our motives are very self serving. Either way, it was a huge success. Matt makes a mean-ass smoothie!

Here are some pics of the flamingos, though the pics don't really do them all justice. There's some amazing detail. They are, in order of appearance:: Elephant-mingo, inspired by Moulin Rouge, by me; Flowermingo by Jenny; Flamin-go by Joel, Count Dramingo by Jo, Plantmingo by Abby, Punk Rock Flamingo by Matt, Spidermingo by Aaron and Placido Flamingo by Marianna and LuAnne.

   

   

Paper Flowers

I really wish I had hopped on a plane to make paper flowers with Daniela, Su, and Heidi. It looks like so much fun and I miss the them [sob sob].

Normal is a Myth

I'm all settled in my new office, it's rather nice. I have my "Normal is a Myth" postcard attached to my computer so I can be reminded every five minutes or so. This will come in handy since Tony is a pod-mate of mine. (Pod: large triangular area with one office in each corner. Jo is my other pod-mate)

Jenny is on the other side of the wall from me, so I keep climbing on my desk to see her and talk to her. I hope I don't fall and break an arm. We had a guy, Gary Diana, do that while hanging Christmas lights 2 years ago and he hasn't lived it down. If we see someone doing something unsafe, we say, "don't pull a Gary Diana". I used to stand on a chair to talk to Abby over the wall, but she's a little too far now =( But at least she's just down the hallway.

On that "Normal" note, I had dinner at my Mom's last night and it just reinforced what a totally wacky family I have. My crazy* Aunt Del asked my Uncle John, "what's that stuff that takes off nail polish?" To which he replied (wondering if this was a trick question), "nail polish remover?" We all laughed at how stupid the question was, then my Mom and my Uncle Pete took turns making up their own questions for the next 5 minutes in a successful attempt to mock the hell out of my Aunt. Here's how it went:

U. Pete: "what's that thing called that toasts bread?"
Mom: "what's that thing that irons your clothes?"
U. Pete: "what's the name of that kind of sweater you pull over your head?"
Mom: "what are those things you slip on your feet at night that are all cushiony?"
Mom: "what's it called when it's time to go to bed?"

These exchanges, while bringing me side splitting laughter, make me question how I got to be so normal... then wonder if I really am. Maybe I'm secretly insane.

*Background on Aund Del: she really is a bit crazy. She was in a very bad car accident about 20 years ago, had to learn to walk and talk all over again, and has been manic depressive ever since.

On another note, I also realized where I got both my food addiction tendencies and my need to push food on others. Here's the list of the food Gram brought to Mom's last night:

Pepperoni Pizza
5th Avenue candy bars
Mounds candy bars
Heath Bites candy
Chocolate Oreos
Stella Doro cookies
Pizzelles
and Gummi Bears

... all this AFTER knowing I was bringing Strawberry Shortcake for dessert! I should be the size of a house with this family!

Limited Edition

I just bought a Mystery Poster Bunny t-shirt from Jenny's store. The inside word (straight from Jenny's mouth today at her Strawberry Shortcake shindig) is that she is going to change the wording to "Mysterious Poster Bunny". So I thought I'd join Squibnocket and get one of only a few limited edition versions before Jenny changes it, becomes famous (she WAS mentioned in USA Weekend!) and people are clamoring for them.

I'm envisioning a scenario where I'm walking around on Park Ave in my Mystery Poster Bunny t-shirt, I pass someone and they stop me, jaw dropped, and exclaim, "that's MY bunny, why are you wearing MY bunny?" Then I spill the beans on Jenny. That's as far as it goes in my mind... though I'm pretty sure Jenny would win any lawsuit brought against her by mystery-poster-bunny-posting-mysterious-artist because said artist did not reveal him/herself on said poster. AND, the lawsuit would probably cause CNN news to do an interview with Jenny, then she would be bigtime for sure (and the value of my and Squibnocket's Limited Edition Myster Poster Bunny t-shirt would skyrocket in value)...

Hip to be Square

In Japan, they are making square watermelons. First seedless, then yellow, now square. What next, miniature kiwi-size watermelon? Yes, I think I'd like pocket-sized watermelon.

I was going to buy a square watermelon but they're $85 and since I just dropped $300 bucks on a Visor Edge (woo hoo), I can't afford it. Chuck (hubby) is going to inherit my cracked Visor Deluxe and now the burden is on him to get it fixed. The best part about it... it was all his idea, he urged me to do it... I love that man. Here's the damage (finally got pictures working):

Great weekend, East End Festival (party in the streets), Elixir at Club Red (an event by RJ Reynolds to promote Camels by luring unsuspecting people with bellydancers, fortune telling and free drinks), cake sampling (to help my sis Sherri decide where to get her wedding cake), dinner at Bahama Breeze (my new favorite restaurant) with Jenny and Aaron, then off to see Moulin Rouge (a funny movie, worth seeing).

Oh, and according to the fortune teller, I am "very bubbly, have alot of friends, am very happy, people look forward to seeing my smile... and (yikes) will be pregnant by September and will have a girl". I believed her until I realized she seemed to be alternating between stating the obvious (yes, after 3 drinks I'm VERY bubbly and happy) and guessing based on norms (married but no kids yet, so probably trying... etc.). It was a fun experience though. She knew some uncanny stuff about others, so you never know... Want your own, try an online Psychic reading.

Insider Cake Trading

In offering to help my sister with some of her wedding planning, I've realized that it is rather easy to solicit free or almost free cake from virtually every bakery in town. I called four bakeries on Friday and 3 out of 4 offer free cake on any given day and 1 offered 7" sample cakes for a mere $2.50. I bought one of the sample cakes and it was scrumptious. My sister says, "let's just order the cake from Wojtczak's so you don't have to keep running around." I said, "you can do whatever you want but I'm still going to go taste free cake, you can't stop me."

I have pictures to post and my Guster heart (graphic) is broken dammit. Can you all see my Daily Bite banner? The site Jenny recommended to me told me I don't have cookies. I HAVE COOKIES dammit. Ugh. I want to post the depressing picture of my cracked Handspring Visor. I dropped it on the floor last week. It costs 85 bucks to get it fixed, about half the price of a new one. UGH. I found a place that sells replacement glass for $50 but you have to install it yourself (not to mention I think it has Palm icons, oh joy). Chuck thinks he can do the install. I don't know if it's worth the risk. And just when I was getting really attached to the damn little thing.

Daniela posted in her blog that she tried and did not like Kettle Korn. Saying "I didn't like Kettle Korn" after trying it only once is like saying "I didn't like sex" after trying it only once. Kettle Korn can vary greatly from vendor to vendor. Sooo, a word of advice... do not write off Kettle Korn without at least sampling from a few different vendors first. You may find one that makes it really good. Don't let one bad experience rob you of a lifetime of enjoyable activity (eating Kettle Korn).

Eddie Card Plea

Eddie actually called me today and chatted for about 20 minutes. He sounded great and had me laughing to tears. He was telling me about how strange it is to be on morphine and how he woke up and realized he was sort of talking to himself and had his finger up in the air, pointing, as if to say "excuse me, waiter". Though he sounded great, I think he's still in rough shape. He mentioned that they have a tube in his back because his spinal cord is leaking. He called me back later to say that the day had gone downhill after he talked to me... a nurse had come in and told him to stand up, so Eddie stood at the end of the bed for an hour and a half, alternating between sitting and standing, before the guy came back to check on him. It turned out Eddie wasn't actually supposed to be up AT ALL yet. He said he was ok, but they had the nurse taken off assignment to Eddie's room (Eddie probably would have used every last ounce of strength to strangle the guy).

If anyone (all two of you who read this) wants to send Eddie a card to cheer him up, I think that would be great. You can just note you are a "Friend of Tina's" if he doesn't know you. He's not sure how long he'll be in the hospital, anywhere from 3 more days to 3 weeks, but his wife can bring his cards to him if he's still in, so here's his home address. He has a twisted sense of humor, much like me, so feel free to send him funny stuff.

Eddie
9025 W. Desert Inn Rd #103
Las Vegas, NV 89117

Happy Anniversary

Friday Chuck and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. It was wonderful. Though we weren't really supposed to exchange gifts because we want to take a vacation to celebrate, Chuck still brought me home a beautiful bouquet of flowers that had Calla Lillies in it... like my wedding bouquet. He also got me the damn near cutest little lamb you've ever seen. So soft, so sweet, so cuddly. Quite a gesture since earlier on in our relationship he (Chuck, not the Lamb) refused to buy me stuffed animals because he "didn't see the point in them". Well, it's only taken 16 years to change his mind on that one, but hey, every success counts. Imagine how much progress I'll make by 2012! ;-)

We went to Bahama Breeze and sampled the food. It was fabulous! I've been waiting 4 months to have a Bahamarita and it was worth the wait... mmmmmmmm... yummy!

After dinner we met up with Abby at Chrome, a new club near work, then were joined by Tony and Ange. Chrome had a cool decor - high ceilings, unique lighting, cool couches... but it sucked. The first thing that killed me was the $8 price for a martini. Helloooooo, this is ROCHESTER we're talking about here, not New York City. Give me a $3.95 Bahamarita any day. If I order an $8 martini in Rochester, I expect it to be the size of a big gulp. Then there was the crowd... the look-at-me-I'm-so-beautiful-in-my-leather-pants-and-sequined-tube-top-from-TJMaxx girls and the I-work-out-and-go-tanning-and-am-trying-to-look-like-I-just-walked-off-the-set-of-the-Sopranos guys. Not my scene at all. Not that I'm against looking good, I'm all for it, I just don't think it should be someone's main focus. I mean, if you look too good to dance, what's the point? Sheesh.

U2, Me Too

Thursday I went to see U2 with Abby (thanks to Ab buying an extra ticket) and though we spent the first third of the show in a bad spot on the floor, surrounded by ignorant drunk people and 10 foot tall dumb blonds, when we finally moved and spent the rest of the show on the stairs with a beautiful view of the elaborate stage, I really began to enjoy the music and the experience of seeing U2 live. They were incredible!

The highlight was when Bono (why is this man so sexy??) pulled a girl out of the audience, hugged her VERY tightly, then proceeded to roll around on the ground with her rather romantically. All I can say is, if I was that girl, not only would I spend the rest of my life reliving that moment, I would never wash those clothes again and probably would not be able to function as a normal human being anymore. I still can't stop thinking about it and it wasn't even me! (Hello, my name is Tina and I have an obsessive personality).

Update

My brother Eddie is ok after his back surgery but the titanium disc hadn't fused so they had to do the more extensive surgery, which means an incisions in his back, hip, and stomach... and he woke up to find a hole in his neck (from an iv/catheter or something) which he's not happy about, actors shouldn't have too many scars. He called my Mom this morning to say he felt good but was very tired. I'm going to go order him up a cookie-gram or something yummy like that.

Background info (I'm going to start doing this so my blogs have more context): My brother Eddie lives in Las Vegas, while the rest of the family lives here in Rochester, NY. Eddie is 33 now, became addicted to drugs shortly after graduating high school, had Hodgkin's Disease when he was 21, his first back surgery at about 25, his second back surgery last year, and his 3rd back surgery yesterday. He's a Scorpio who ended his man-slut days to get married last October and celebrated 2 years of sobriety last month. There, that should catch you all up.

Brother's Back

My brother Eddie is going in for his 3rd back surgery today. They start by going in through the back, hoping to find the titanium disc (that was put in last year) fused to the bone. If so, they may just need to remove some scar tissue... BUT, if it hasn't fused, things get ugly. They'll have to put screws and things in, then go into his hip and take more bone marrow, THEN turn him over and go in through his stomach to try to remove the titanium disc. If they can't remove the disc from the front, they'll have to leave it and go back in at a later date. YUCK. I'm worried, but he's a strong boy... Jo says "think of the football players"... they're always needing new knees and backs and they come out just fine... Their pain brings me comfort =)

Kettle Korn

Kettle Korn season has officially started. The Lilac Festival kicked it off here in Rochester. Chuck and I went on Friday and bought 2 gigantic bags of K.K. (he's almost as addicted as me) and they were gone, gone, gone within 2 days - and I was showing restraint!

I believe there will now be a festival just about every weekend and where there's a festival, there's K.K. This coming weekend is Rush Hometown days. I know they'll have K.K. because last year my sister and I drove up in her white Mustang, hobbled up to the K.K. booth in our trendy summer sandals, and ordered a few bags. Rush is a SMALL town outside of Rochester where they're probably not too familiar with the current trends in clothing and shoes, so I'm sure most of them thought we were hookers. Oh well, I can't say what I would or wouldn't do for Kettle Korn. It IS an addiction you know!

Abby brought me a bag of Orville Redenbacher's Kettle Korn that her Mom found at the store. She's so sweet, trying to help me feed my habit without having to be a festival hooker every weekend. I was hopeful... it looked just like the Kettle Korn from the Lilac Festival. Alas, no such luck. It tastes like a mild version of carmel corn. No dice, but I appreciate Ab's efforts.

Back from the Brink

Well, back from our weekend excursion to the 1000 Islands to stay with the inlaws. It really wasn't too bad. I only started to get psychotic once on Saturday, after golf and basketball and drag racing had taken up the tube all damn day (I WANT MY MTV) and then again on Sunday when my Father-in-law snored through the last entire hour of "The Wonder Boys." We're not talking a couple of snorts here either, we're talking major chainsaw mode.

Other than that, we went to the drive-in and saw "A Knight's Tale", cute movie... Heath Ledger... mmmm, wouldn't kick him outta bed for eatin crackers. The second movie was "Driven" about drag racing. It sucked royal. The acting sucked (though I did think Stallone was pretty good). The plot development sucked. Some of the effects were cool. I fell asleep and missed the end, but didn't care.

I also got my Mother-in-law addicted to the Mah-jongg game on Nabiscoworld.com. Talk about effective marketing. After playing for a while, then watching my m.i.l. play for a while, I had the overwhelming urge to eat Oreos. My m.i.l. had faux oreos but they didn't cut it. Faux oreos are to oreos as WPOP is to Coke. They don't taste anything alike and the cheap versions taste like crap. Some things are just worth the extra cost. So after eating 4 faux oreos and not feeling the least bit satiated, I ran to the store and bought a bag of REAL oreos. Yep, that $2.99 was worth every penny!

Flamingos on Parade

As you may or may not know, our office is doing a "Flamingos on Parade" event, much like the Horses on Parade here in Rochester. The flamingos arrived today, I need inspiration. I thought about making a Kettle Korn Flamingo (Korny Flamingo), but I quickly realized I probably couldn't part with enough Kettle Korn to do it. Either that, or someone would find me at my desk one day gnawing the head off my flamingo in a neurotic frenzy to eat the Kettle Korn off. Yikes.

Cup Cakes and Fruit Pies and Beef Jerky, Oh My

Last night I caught the tail end of the most fab show on the Food Network (where else?), called Snacks Unwrapped. It showed how Hostess Fruit Pies were made, how they put the little curly icing on the Hostess Cup Cakes, and how beef jerky is made (this was not too exciting... nothing sweet or oozy is used). I was in 7th heaven. I've always been fascinated with how stuff is made (in a production factory). I think it began from watching Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. To see FOOD being mass produced is the height of excitement for me, sadly enough. My favorite part was watching the fruit pies go through a wall of glaze. I'm all about walls of glaze. They rock.

I missed the information on Krispy Kreme (home of the world's best wall of glaze), Cheez Doodles and Moon Pies, so I will be sure to tune in and watch it again, from the beginning.

Mmmm, I'm hungry.

"Hello, my name is Tina and I'm a JFKK addict"

Jenny's blog is so good, she has Panties in a Bunch jealous of her lifestyle, talent for writing, friends who actually do stuff with her, etc. etc. Today I added another reason why Panties should wish Jenny was her "real" friend, instead of just a girl she reads about.

I arrived at my desk today to find a large bowl full of Jenny's Faux Kettle Korn. She is the only person who knows how to make it AND understands my neurotic addictions to food. (Hubby knows how to make it but doesn't understand the inner workings of an addictive personality). I hoarded the bowl, determined not to share. This JFKK is some powerful stuff because I am normally very giving and I share to the point where I almost force food on people. I had two small exceptions. I had to let Tony grab a handful after he so rudely asked if he could have some (the nerve!) and I offered Sarah some because, well, mainly because it was sitting right there open and I would've looked like a total shitheel if I didn't offer her some. But I ate all the rest myself, in a span of about a half hour. I felt kind of ill after it was all said and done, but when it comes to JFKK, the nausea and cavities are well worth it. Thanks Jenny!

Disney Debrief

Got back from my trip to Disney at 1am this morning. It was a fun-filled, action-packed trip that was 70% fantastic. Jo, Kenn and I arrived Friday night, checked in, gobbled a quick pizza that Kenn had trekked about a half mile from his hotel to bring us.

Saturday we met up with Greg Lukins (who is on assignment in Orlando for the next month or so) and the four of us went to DisneyQuest in Downtown Disney. It had some pretty cool stuff, especially Cyberspace Mountain, which let you create your own rollercoaster, then ride it in a simulator. Jo and I created a pretty lame one, not even any loops, but it was fun. We ate dinner at Bongo Cafe after Kenn used his spanish and his magnetic personality to cut about an hour off our wait. Go Kenn! The food was fantastic! After dinner, we went to Pleasure Island, which is basically a bunch of nightclubs, and danced for a few hours. It was a blast.

Highlight of Saturday: As we get briefed on the Interactive Pirates of the Carribean ride at DisneyQuest, Jo asks the guy, "How do we steer the boat?" Guy gives her a look and says, "you move the wheel left and right" as he gestures. We all crack up. Poor Jo, her mouth did not cooperate with her brain.

Sunday the four of us went to Epcot. Test Track was great and Honey I Shrunk the Audience was very cool. The fireworks were phenomenal. The rest is a blur.

Highlight of Sunday: The best book comment ever. After Jo convinces Greg and Kenn to buy Cinnamon Glazed nuts because they are so yummy, she has to pass up their offers because she has braces and can't eat crunchy things. In a last attempt to let Jo somehow enjoy the tasty treats, Greg (in all seriousness) says, "do you want to put one in your mouth and suck on it?" Jo innocently replies, "no thanks". Kenn and I look at each other and fall over laughing at the easily perverted connotations of the exchange.

All apologies to those made ill by my last blog and more apologies for leaving it up there in your face for so long. You know who you are =)

Oh Mickey You're so Fine

ANNOUNCER: "Tina, your troup has just won the National Bellydancing Competition, what are you going to do now?"

TINA: "I'm going to Disneyland!"

Ok, so we didn't win (though I'll only attribute that to the fact that I don't think they actually HAVE national competitions) and I'm actually going to Disneyworld, but it's still very exciting. Jo and I and a bunch of the guys are going down to Disney for a project we're on. I feel very lucky considering they're very tight with travel these days and that some of my friends are worried about getting laid off. I wish I had the power to change things, but alas, I am a peon through and through and I have a feeling my job might come in to question in the next year or so too. After all, how many UI Designers does it take to screw with a website? Not many.

Other than the Disney excitement and the fun of Jenny's surprise birthday party, my life has been not too eventful. My dreams are another story...

Dream a Little Dream, Fat Free

Last night I DREAMT that I was 7 months pregnant! I wasn't showing at all and hadn't even told everyone that I was pregnant. I was out buying a "pregnancy bodystocking" and I was rather happy about the fact that I was going to be smaller after I had the baby than before I got pregnant.

I know exactly where this dream originated though, no psychological investigation needed (except for the part about the bodystocking, I don't get that bit of wackiness). I was chatting with Sharon, our manager, on Monday morning and talking about how she is 7 months pregnant, not showing at all, and will be smaller after she has the baby than before she got pregnant. There you have it. Maybe just wishful thinking... about the weight loss part anyway ;-)

Vurp, Churp, Thurp

After bellydancing class tonight, Abby, Jenny, Jo and I were standing around chatting when I had a puke-burp. You know, where you burp but get a little somethin extra with it. It's yucky but it happens to all of us. Especially after eating chicken-italian sausages. The funniest part was, we all had different names for it. Abby called it a THURP (for throw-up burp), Jo called it a VURP (vomit burp), and Jenny had the grossest version, a CHURP (chunk burp). Well, you learn something new everyday!

In that vein, I thought I'd do some internet research on burps. I hit gold immediately. What could be more informative than a site called http://www.burpsandfarts.com?? It has wav files of various burps... lovely.

My second find was a site that had links to burp related pages. Seemed quite appropriate, BUT THEN... I realized that quite a few of the links were to very explicit sounding porn sites that got listed for referencing, among other things, "sperm burping"... gross!! And quite different from "chicken-italian-sausage burping". I honestly think you could do a search for ANY term at all and find links to porn. As a matter of fact, I think that would make a good research project or a good article for suck.com. Just type in the most innocent words you can think of and see how many porn sites you get... "cute"... "cuddly"... "whiskers on kittens"... and the list goes on and on...

It just reinforces what those of us in the web industry all know. The internet is all about porn.

Yesterday was my Aunt's Birthday and my Mom was having a birthday party for her. As the day ended, I realized, uuughhh, no present, I had forgotten. Ran to Target and got her a couple really cute shirts, since her wardrobe is rather lacking (pardon the snooty-fashion-police side of myself).

I have to stop going to my Mom's because I pig out like the end of the earth is coming. I had 4 1/2 pieces of pepperoni pizza, ice cream and cake. Thank GOD Gram didn't buy Italian bread, I'd have been in serious trouble.

I took a polaroid of my Grandma with her 4 kids (mom with my aunt and uncles). Gram looked at the picture and said, "I look like I have Popeye's arm." We looked, expecting her to be exaggerating... but nope, there it was, one gigantic looking forearm. I said that we should draw an anchor on it. We cracked up. I'll scan the picture tomorrow and let you judge for yourself.

Well, off to bellydancing class. I'm going to have to take it easy with the "typewriter" move, made my back hurt a little last week.

Update

I am so incredibly behind with blogging. Ugh, forgive me. Here's some stuff I blogged on my Visor while in a horrific meeting on Thursday 5/3:

Had a cookout on sunday, it was very fun, especially when my sister Sherri taught some cha cha. After about 3 of Kenn's yummy margaritas, I got brave enough to do my bellydance. Jenny didn't appear to have the courage at first but quickly popped up and did it with me (and she was totally sober). She may play the 'shy and quiet' girl, but don't let that fool you, she wants the spotlight in a big way.

Tuesday I taught basic UI Design to Tony's class. He's teaching Introduction to Interactive Multimedia (undergrad) at RIT. It was very laid back and fun and only one kid fell asleep - most seemed pretty interested.

Wednesday I went to Mom's for a quick dinner. She told us how she'd called home from work and left a sexy message on the answering machine for my step Dad, but she had to whisper, so when he played the message back, it sounded like a lizard with a lisp making an indecipherable crank call.

Today I am in our quarterly meeting listening to a bunch of irrelevant boring crap. Torture I tell you. Why the f* do I need to hear details about Dynamo 5? At least we got to go to Dibellas for lunch... best subs ever.

When I get subs, I only get meat, cheese, and mayo or mustard - and for some reaon, the person making the sub always reacts with disbelief, asking, 'no lettuce? No tomato? Just mayo?' I always respond, 'right, none of that healthy crap!' Am I the only person on the planet who doesn't like that stuff on my sub? I didn't realize I was so unique!

Randomness

Started my day by getting stuck behind a giant truck that said "Lubrication Specialists"... and that's all I have to say about that.

Plea for Help

Talk It Up! - a new application on kodak.com (where I work in case ANY strangers read my blog, though that's VERY unlikely) that I worked on, just went live. It lets you add speech balloons to your pictures. Here's one of my cat Punky:



So please help me (and my Kodak friends) get a bigger bonus... I need the money for an organ transplant (I'd like to transplant the organ of my body from Rochester to California for a short period of time). Please join kodak.com, try Talk It Up!, and it would also be a big help if you would click on the Birdcam, then click on the ALL VIEWS link and just leave that up on your screen (or move it off screen if you really don't want to see it). =)

Starving

The other day at lunch, Jenny pointed at my yogurt and granola and said (in a very accusing but concerned tone), "Is that all you're going to eat for lunch?! Do you know that if you don't get enough calories, it's very bad for you... " etc. etc. etc. I said, "don't you worry about me, I'm going to have dinner at my Mom's tonight and I'm sure I will eat enough calories for 2 days." Sure enough, got to Mom's and had the following:

- 3 pieces of italian bread w/butter (would've eaten more but it had sesame seeds on the crust)
- tuna noodle casserole
- a piece of cube steak
- a tall, cool glass of Coca-cola
- a frosted jelly donut
- a few of grandma's cookies

Yep, I'd say at least 2K, and that doesn't include the hand full of Whoppers I ate 5 minutes after I got back from lunch with yogurt remnants still on my tongue.

Nope, I don't think anyone will ever have to worry that I'm not getting enough calories!

Adding to Guster

Oh, as I get time, I will add to my Day of Guster.

Day of Caring

Did the United Way Day of Caring (a.k.a. Day of Busting A**) yesterday with Abby, Jenny, Sarah, Matt, Ken and others. We did mostly hauling trash and raking up leaves and trash. Basically did more work in one day that I did all year on my own house. It was actually very fun (thanks to the great teamwork) and very fulfilling. The house we helped clean is that much closer to being a counseling center and the area around the church looks great.

I took a long, hot shower when I got home and washed and shampood twice. Last night I had a dream that my overalls were covered with crustacean-like bugs (wasn't it bad enough I was wearing overalls?!!). I had to scrape them off with a spatula like thing, Eeewwwwweeeeee. Let it be noted, however, that in my dream I did not freak out and start tearing off my clothes, like I would have done if my clothes were, in reality, covered with bugs.

Back to not caring...

Seventh Heaven

I'm still floating on air from yesterday's fun-filled activities. I woke up and almost immediately won the opportunity to go to WBER to have meet and have lunch with Guster - my favorite band. Holy crap, could this day get ANY better? So I grab Abby, we ditch the First Annual Kodak.com Chili Cookoff, I leave my crock pot of chili in Jenny's hands, and we head to wber. We meet the band, I give them brownies and Grandma's homemade pizzelles in an attempt to suckup and maybe, just maybe, have them remember me if, for nothing else, my ability to bake a mean batch of Betty Crocker brownies. Joey called me a psycho fan and made Adam very weary of eating my brownies... but he finally gave in and munched one and gave me the thumbs-up.

Basically we (the fans) spent most of the time standing or sitting around, eating pizza, listening to Guster give their interview. Two and a half hours later, the interview finally ended and Guster came and spent about 20 minutes with us. Ryan drew me a picture of my Grandma making cookies... very cool, even though he didn't get the shoes quite right. They were all so nice and personable. I showed Brian the mc3 and the 4800 because, after reading in his road diary that their digital camera is old and decrepid, I thought I'd try to get Kodak to donate one to the cause. It's not quite worked out yet because of course Kodak wants some sort of link or something, but I took the opportunity to show off the cameras - and especially the opportunity to get my picture taken with them =) Here are some pics:


Me and Brian... as it was being taken Brian said, "best friends" (sure, he says that during every fan photo).


Ryan drawing the picture of my Grandma


Adam using the mc3 to take a video. Download the video.

MMMMMMM

I overheard Jo order her wedding cake and I am drooling. This is what I heard, "blah blah blah white chocolate mousse filling blah blah blah rasperry cream filling blah blah blah ganche, blah blah blah french vanilla buttercream frosting"... that sent me over the edge. MMmmmmmmmm.

When she hung up I found out that she was calling to set up a cake tasting. How's this for a racket... you call up bakeries and tell them that you're considering buying your wedding cake from them and want to taste the goods before you commit! Aha, I'm genius!! One small problem... Chuck would never go for doing this with me for two reasons... 1) he's on a diet and 2) he's too damn moral. So I'm putting out a personal ad... "MWF seeks man for cake tasting relationship. No physical relationship, only cake." Then again, Jenny is such a dessert fanatic, perhaps we could pose as a "modern couple" and do some cake tasting =).

Finally Furniture

On Sunday the 8th we finally trekked up to Ikea in Canada and bought an entertainment center. A week later, on Saturday, we finally got it assembled (or should I say Chuck finally did). Tuesday I finally took a picture. Today I finally downloaded the picture and sized it... so here's a picture, finally. If you want more details about the other little odds and ends, you can look at furnitureExplained.jpg.



(wow, Blogger is like lightning tonight!)

Sadness

I found out this week that my girlfriend Noel's Dad dropped dead on Friday. He literally was fine one minute, playing golf with his son and son-in-law... on the 13th hole (irony?)... and the next suddenly fell over dead. He was only 53. Noel said he had come home from work early on Thursday and played with her kids all day. At least her last memories of him will be happy ones, not a consolation at this point though.

She called me for support, knowing that I had lost my Dad and, in some way, looking for answers about how she should feel. I wanted to tell her that it gets easier, but I don't think I totally believe that. In some ways it's easier, 10 years later... in some it's more difficult. I, of course, didn't really have answers for her because everyone deals with grief in their own way, but I think she was relieved to have someone who could relate on some level.

Easter Weekend

I had a v.g. Easter weekend, hubby got the new entertainment center put together, looks fab. My nephew Nick helped, he also brought his PlayStation 2 over and Chuck and Nick were playing the PS2 NBA Basketball game. Chuck opted to be the Utah Jazz, his fave team, and we were commenting on how much the PS2 players looked like the real thing... then out came John Stockton. Chuck was visibly upset and in all seriousness said, "that's doesn't look like John Stockton. It looks like someone who's been badly burned and reconstructed!" Nick and I about fell over laughing!

The real John Stockton:
I'm still trying to find a pic of his PS2 badly-burned-and-reconstructed-alter-ego.

(oh, we also watched Almost Famous on DVD through the PS2 game... v.cool)


Made Easter dinner for 10 people, quite a feat! I even made a Pumpkin Layer Cheesecake (which I got raves for) and decorated Sugar Cookies (which looked adorable... bunnies, lambs, tulips...) at the insistence of my Little Gram. She makes me cookies EVERY week, so how could I refuse her?


Speaking of my Little Gram, I think I've mentioned before that she has very funny shoes for her very deformed feet. We call her Gepetto and she does a little dance for us. She had to have her shoes specially made. I'm pretty sure they are wider than they are long. You really have to see them in action to get the full impact, but here's a picture of my Little Gram's funky shoes:



Baaa haaaaa haaaaa (sorry Grammy).

Ikea Envy

Jenny said she is having Ikea envy because I got to go on a shopping spree there. She wants to come over and help assemble and arrange. I say, "What time is good for you? I will clear my schedule!" Two days have gone by and we've only yet assembled the end tables, which consisted of screwing four legs into a top, no tools needed. The other stuff is a different story. I think Saturday will be The Day of Assemblage. Unfortunately Jenny will be in Pennsylvania, derrr.

Digital Rochester

Abby and I went to Tonic tonight for Digital Rochester. While I enjoyed the free pizza (4 pieces!), Abby was scoping for hot guys, which was about as successful as looking for Britany Spears at a convent. Andy was also there, checkin out the ladies. Again, other than the hoochie with her gigantic breasts boosted up to put her cleavage in everyone's face, there wasn't much to look at. The moral of the story: don't scope for hotties at a computer geek event. Thursday looks to be much more promising for them, we're going out after work.

Naked States

Jenny had a word for wierd coincidences, can't remember what it is, but one happened to me yesterday. Joel sends out this picture that looks like rolling sand... look closer... it's many many naked people. Supposedly from a Phish concert but I think it might actually be the one from Woodstock (that an 18 year old boy invited me to go to... how sweet). Last night, I'm flipping the channels and come across the documentary, Naked States: America Undercover. It's all about this photographer Spencer Tunick who travelled across the country taking pictures with naked people in them in each state. I actually see them taking the exact Phish/Woodstock picture that Joel sent not 12 hours earlier! Amazing!

Waterworld

I'm really trying to be good about drinking enough water - hoping it will magically make the dimples on my thighs go away. No miracles so far, but I do have to pee every 20 minutes or so. So I'm going to start blogging each pee with a simple "p".

p

Had a v.g. weekend. Saw "Bridget Jones Diary". Very funny. Colin Firth is a doll. Went with hubby, Abby, Jenny, Aaron, and Matt. Jenny tried to yell at the screen. I bet she thinks they have microphones that feed directly back to a crack team of digital editing experts who will change the outcome based on audience reaction... They MUST do that, right?

Sunday went to IKEA, the shopping version of Nirvana. Got many things which will hopefully be assembled and up before the Christmas. Spent FOUR hours there! Could have spent more. Had swedish meatballs. Drove back in 80 degree weather... a fabulous day... UNTIL... revenge of the swedish meatballs ~10pm. Boking felt imminent for over an hour, then subsided, thanks to Tums. Reminder to self: though they taste good going down, DO NOT EAT the swedish meatballs next time!

Here's what we got (pics to come later):
- a Bonde entertainment center in Birch
- two birch end tables
- two night-stand-dressers in Beech (we're going back to get the matching wardrobe sometime soon)
- a funky floor lamp with a paper shade
- a cool cd holder to be mounted on the wall that looks like a checkmark
- various organizational aids (baskets, boxes, etc.)
- two aluminum planters (but could be used to hold magazines and such)
- two chrome things to mount on the wall that you hang hooks off of - then hang stuff on the hooks + hooks
- towels for hubby's golf-club-making hobby
- wicker coasters
- 3 2-packs of colored frames, 1 red, 1 blue, 1 green
- 2 sets of art cards to go in said colored frames
- 1 pack of 4x6 clip frames (ie, glass held together with four little metal clips)
- 1 pack of 5x7 clip frames (same as above)

I know the new stuff will help me to become an organized person, thus a neat person, thus a happy person, thus a NYS Lotto Jackpot winning person.

Yikes, just found this site, www.respectthepussy.com - "it's not what you think"...

I'm not sure if I'm disgusted or amused. At least the pictures are really cute.
ok, must sleep now...

OK, we DID get a TV with Picture in Picture (which I wanted so I could see both Survivor and Friends - though hubby thinks it's to be used as Golf in Picture so he can watch golf every possible waking moment of his life), but alas, can't figure out how to make it work with digital cable. This is ridiculous. When the heck is all this crap gonna go wireless and figure itself out? If we can put a man on the moon, can't we make electronics easy to use? I want to exercise my brain with more important and/or interesting things, like rating mullets.

I went to pick up my dry cleaning yesterday. I had four pair of pants, two sweaters and a skirt, all in shades of either gray or black. I don't experiement with color too often, I like the classic neutral tones, "safe style". So imagine my shock and horror when the clerk guy grabs a gaggle of hangers holding what I can only explain as a bunch of sweaters that were probably even considered hideous back in 1977 when they were IN style. Heavy knits with bright colors (one had that lovely turquoise, orange, yellow and pink combination thing going). I could only mutter with great disgust, "uh, those are the WRONG sweaters." The clerk guy says something to the effect of "are you sure" - as if he could totally picture me in one of these alert-the-fashion-police-we-have-a-live-one-here garments. Ugh, the indignity of it all.

Uh Oh

Uh oh, it's quarter after midnight and I'm not tired. Wound up from watching Sopranos and Queer as Folk. Damn daylight savings... am going to be all poofy-eyed and icky looking tomorrow.

Spent all weekend watching our new tv - 32 inches of pure entertainment heaven. (Hello, my name is Tina and I'm a tv addict). Almost got the 36" but when it didn't fit in the truck, thought it might be too big in the house. It throws you off when you're at the store looking at them in the context of 40' ceilings and vast expanses of aisles. They get you to think, "oh yeah, the Sopranos will look mighty fine on that 63" tv" and you get it home and you're so close it sends you into epileptic seizures.

Also seemed to be a weekend of Julia Roberts movies. As I was flicking around yesterday, saw that Stepmom was on. Hadn't seen it, got sucked in, cried so hard I had to rinse off my contacts. Then, finally, rented Erin Brockovich. Must admit, I didn't really want to see it until I realized she swore like a trucker in it. Must be the Italian in me. It was good, more tears though. Then Notting Hill was on today. Julia's forhead veins were really flaring in that one.

Well, I'm going to go douse my pillow with my Origins Sweet Dreams spray that's supposed to help me sleep. It smells EXACTLY like Fruit Loops - yum - I'm surprised I don't dream that I'm swimming in a vat of Fruit Loops. Hey, wait, do they spell it like that or are they Froot Loops? Well, either way, must sleep now.

Rant

I'm pissy today, which doesn't happen too often. I'm one of those chronically-sunshiny-happy-everythings-coming-up-roses type people on the outside (though not always on the inside), hopefully not to the point of annoying, but just to the point where people can rely on me to be the one smiling. Today I feel like the dont-come-near-me-or-i'll-rip-your-face-off type people. So I need to rant. Here are things that
tick me off:

- when someone stops the microwave before it finishes and doesn't hit clear - so it's continually flashing in *pause* mode
- when someone tailgates me even though I'm already speeding
- when the bank in the building I work in (that I frequent monthly) gets robbed
- when the lot I park in has more and more vagrants showing up bugging people for money (if one approaches me today, they might endure the wrath of a women gone mad!)
- when I realize just how UNDERPAID I am compared to the MEN in my group who do the same damn thing (but are much more annoying to work with than me)
- when I realize that I didn't follow my dream of working with dolphins (not that it's too late, but that's another issue)
- when it's almost April and it's still &*%$%@@ frozen outside
- when my clothes are too tight and I feel like a cow
- when my husband is almost skinnier than me and has no problem passing up a Krispy Kreme
- when I realize the emphasis on and promotion of unattainable beauty standards in this country, then feel like an even bigger cow
- when I realize I feel like a cow even though alot of women would probably love to have my shape (though I'm sure they'd pass on the dimples - and I'm not talkin ones on my face!)
- when I realize that I will never be rich enough to buy whatever I want or go wherever I want, whenever I want (ie, hop on a plane to visit friends or hop on a plane to be with my brother as he endures back surgery or hop on a plane to Australia to try to find the set of Survivor, etc.)
- when I find myself being really shallow and wining about wanting to be rich, especially knowing alot of people would probably love to have the income I do (like the vagrants waiting for me in the parking lot)
- when my house is a mess and I can't blame anyone but myself
- when I'm craving italian bread toasted and I ate it all yesterday

OK, I'm sure I can think of more, but that's enough for now. I have to head out to my car and hope I don't get mugged in the parking lot, then go spend money I feel guilty about spending, then try to clean up my messy house.

I hope tomorrow is better!

Ramblings

I REALLY have to start keeping up, my weekly rants must be painfully boring. Quick and dirty:

- final bellydancing class last week, new one starts tomorrow night, we recruited Abby - woohoo! Our instructor asked if we'd want to perform as a group - YIKES!

- went and saw Dolphins at the Planetarium. Haven't been to the Planetarium since I was 8, not even for the midnight laser light rock show - shame on me. Then hung at The Spot with Chuck, Matt, Jenny and Aaron. I am still amazed that BOTH Aaron AND Jenny have almost killed an elderly person by standing on the tube to their oxygen tank. It's destiny I tell you! They're meant to be together.

- went to Jenny's Oscar party and proceeded to eat like I'd been stranded on a desert island for days, I tell you, days. It was all so damn yummy! I told Jenny she should go into business making "Jenny Crack Corn". My brother ALMOST got me into the Instyle Oscar Party through a connected friend of his in LA, alas, not to be. In actuality, I was quite relieved, I would have felt like the poor but chubby little match girl next to all the hollywood hotshots. Though with J-Lo walking around all nipples, I don't think anyone else got any notice anyway. Oooh, I also won at Jenny's party for most winners-that-I-don't-necessarily-think-will-win-but-I-want-them-to-win that actually won. I got 52 Terrific and Forgotten Movies, I've only seen the cheesy ones so far. Jenny wrapped it with a bow made out of a negative film strip - her creativity is astounding, I'm in awe.

- dreamt that my teeth were falling out at work and that I almost passed out in the bathroom after looking at my teeth. Not sure what that means but it doesn't sound good. I also dreamt that my Stepmom had shampoo and conditioner dispensers in her shower that must have been big enough to hold 3 gallons each. Not sure where that one came from, odd...

Other than all that, I'm FREEZING and if it doesn't warm up soon, I'm going to curl up and die.

Bahama Breeze

While in Orlando, I went to a pretty awesome restaurant called Bahama Breeze. It was like a cross between Empire Brewery, Jamba Juice, and a fancy T.G.I.F. Caribbean food (obviously). They had a huge deck, great drinks (I had an a href="http://www.bahamabreeze.com/drinks.html "> Ultimate Pina Colada ... yummiest drink I ever had!), great food, and a great atmosphere. When they told us they were opening one in Rochester, I nearly fell off my chair. Why would someone open a tropical themed restaurant who's appeal is a big outdoor deck in Rochester where it's frozen more than half the year? Then again, Rochester is a pretty big restaurant town and Krispy Kreme certainly showed that Rochestarians will drop some serious dough for doughnuts. So it's logical that the market can support it. So I thought... if it's really true, it MUST be getting built in Henrietta. Sure enough, as Chuck and I turned from Hylan on to Jefferson, there it was. A mostly built building that had the distinct shape like the one in Orlando and a large deck. Woo hoo!! Now if only someone will have faith that Rochester could support at least a couple Jamba Juices...

So back to B.B.... the best part about it, I can tell you, will be the drinks. They have a drink called a Bahamarita that looks like a gigantic slushie. I wanted to try one, but didn't want to be a lushie =) I WILL be there for the grand opening and WILL be sampling a Bahamarita or two. Anyone care to join me?

Other Stuff

Adjusting from 80 degree weather to a damn blizzard, other than that, not much going on. Finished reading Bridget Jones Diary. Pictured Renee Zellweger throughout, as she'll be Bridget in the movie. I think she'll be perfect for the part. Am going to try to model blog writing style after it. Short but sweet, except when necessary.

Dinner with the family yesterday. Eleven loud Italians (well, 9 loud Italians and 2 married-in white boys), delicious food. Actually enjoyed family's company. Shocking! Ate like a pig. Note: found new extremely fattening food to crave: Italian Nachos at Macaroni Grill. YUM.

Vacation Wrapup

Blog catch up (I really have to stop letting so much time go by). Finished vacation. Discovery Cove was pretty cool, though with some disappointments. The first clue was that just as we got to the front of the line to 'sign in' and get passes made, their computers went down. (The happy part is that I got to pet the cutest little Two-toed Sloth you ever did see.) We waited over a half hour... as I nearly burst into tears at the thought of my dream being delayed. Finally got in, not much time before I had to report for my "Dolphin Interaction". They have three dolphin lagoons, each with between four and six dolphins. We separated into 'pods' of about 8 people each and went into one of the lagoons (they alternate lagoons to give the dolphins a break... nice). Each pod had two trainers, a photographer, and a dolphin assigned to us. I'll be honest, at some level I expected this to be a life changing experience... I thought.. when I get in there, those dolphins will just KNOW I've been waiting my whole life for this and will shower me with attention and love. Alas, proof I am delusional ensued.

Our assigned dolphin was named Goofy (second clue), she was a 37 year old Sea World retiree. As we got into the chilly water and lined up, Goofy disappeared. I looked at the other pods and they were all petting and playing with their dolphin, laughing and having the time of their lives. Goofy was still MIA. Held back tears. Goofy finally came back. All the actual interaction seemed to be centered around photo opportunities (for a mere $100, you can get 5 5x7's, two keychains and a snowglobe... woohoo). Got to kiss Goofy (click, click) then scratched her chin which she really seamed to like. Hurrah, connection with dolphin... then, Goofy is MIA again. Held back tears. One by one our pod people went out to the center of the pool, posed with Goofy (click, click), then got "brought" back to the line by Goofy. My turn, ooh, ooh. I get to put my feet against Goofy's pectoral fins as she pushes me back to shore. Whoopeee, moving fast, this is fun... smile for the camera (click, click). Kind of strange having a giant dolphin between your legs, I hope I don't slip... but hey, THIS is the kind of stuff I paid an extra $110 bucks for!!

Couple more minutes. Get to touch her flukes. Look at her underwater. She likes me, she really likes me... the delusion is back! Damn, it's almost over (after a mere 20 minutes). Goofy does her last trick of jumping up out of the water and spinning... she does this three times in a row... not bad for an old broad.

It's over, we have to leave the lagoon. So sad, want to cry. Really want to get a job as a dolphin trainer. Believe it or not, I'm semi-qualified. The psychology degree and the experience at the zoo as a docent. I'm so in there. I'm going to their HR dept today. Later that day... HR is closed, but I'll get on the web when I get home. Must work with dolphins, they'd be almost as fun as the wacky crew I work with now. Got on the web, no jobs available. Lifelong dream will not be fulfilled any time soon. Hold back tears.

All in all, with the delay, the MIA dolphin, and the rain (oh yeah, it poured!), it was a great experience and I would do it again and again.

Friday

Apparently today was crappy movie day. I watched Girl Interrupted on video... good but rather depressing. Then we went to the movies. I've been waiting to see The Mexican, have had to wait because everyone (me, hubby, and inlaws) wants to see it. So I thought today would be our chance but instead, Mother inlaw insisted on going to see 15 Minutes (either to beat the after 4 price increase from $3.75 to $5.50 or to get to dinner sooner, not sure). Yet another disturbing, stress inducing movie. Then we gathered back at home and watched Meet the Parents because I needed a dose of humor BAD. This movie did not provide the dose I needed, so now I'm jonesing for giggles. I'll go read everyone's blogs and hope that helps.

Thursday

Not much again today. The hubby went golfing. The highlight of my day? Going to Thursday Night at the Square. No, no, it wasn't watching the 80 year olds do the Boot Scootin Boogie to the live country music (help me I'm in hell)... As soon as we got there, I smelled something. I recognized that smell, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. Could it be? I'll have to wait until we turn the corner. Oh... YES, YES, YES - it's a Kettle Korn booth!!!! But wait, is it crappy Kettle Korn like we found in Utah that doesn't have enough sugar to make a dent? Am I in for great disappointment? I better sample it first... Mmmmmmm, perfect, I'm in heaven. The country music stops playing and, in my head, I hear the chords of Guster ring out in my head and all is right with the world... for a while.

Wednesday

Today I went to see The Wedding Planner by myself while hubby was golfing. It was either that or See Spot Run. Have to wait for Chuck to go see The Mexican , he wants to see it too. The Wedding Planner was a typical unrealistic, predictable love story, but Matthew McConaughey made it more than bearable.

I also almost got ran over by the blue-hair cart guy at Publix. He had collected about four carts and proceeded to almost plow me over with the ton of steel he was pushing - definitely would have put me in the hospital... "What happened to you Tina?" "I got run over by grocery carts." Not a very compelling story, I'd have to make something else up... "I was in the water at the beach when I saw this fin. I thought it was a dolphin so I got closer. Aaaahh, it was a Great White shark coming right at me. He swam by me, then whipped away and as he turned, his tail plowed into me like a ton of steel. I was badly hurt and could barely tread water. He turned around and was coming back for me, I saw many, many teeth and thought I was going to be lunch when suddenly, out of no where, a dolphin charged up and rammed into the shark and scared him away. The dolphin came back, let me grab his fin and towed me to the beach. Then a young studly EMT gave me mouth to mouth, lifted me in his arms and put me into the ambulance and that's how I ended up in the hospital." Yep, that sounds a bit better.

So the old cart guy didn't even look at me, didn't even SEE me. Maybe I'm invisible and I didn't know it.

The "Vacation" Starts

Left for Florida a day early to beat the storm that was supposed to hit Rochester on Tuesday. Jetblue was a pretty impressive airline. Nice cushy leather seats, my own personal cable tv, Terra chips... nice. I couldn've done without the crew that seemed to be rejects from Open Mic Comedy Night, but it was still better than a bunch of holier-than-thou-five-pounds-of-makeup-nice-because-I-have-to-be people you usually get.

Haven't done much yet, though, in the strangest irony ever, I joined the fitness center for the week. At home I can't get off my butt to do anything remotely resembling exercise and now that I'm on vacation and I'm not supposed to get off my butt, I'm actually working out. My Father-in-law paid for the membership so, you know what that means, I HAVE to go. It's just not right.

For those of you who don't know, I'm in Florida at my inlaws who live in a retirement community. It's quite a culture change. In NY you have to be aware of your surroundings so you don't get mugged. In Florida you have to be aware of your surroundings so you don't get mowed down by an 80 year old blue hair who's in a big ass hurry to get the EXACT parking spot you're walking in front of.

I didn't even change out of my pajamas today. I wasn't a slug, I cleaned for a few hours and did a ton of laundry, but I did it all in my pj's.

At about 5pm, I became a slug... I plopped my butt down and started to watch TV. I watched High Fidelity (finally, thoroughly enjoyed it, Jack Black rocks). Cried to the end of "While You Were Sleeping", Bill Pullman looks pathetically cute in that movie. Snuck in some "Fashion Review of the Grammys". Joan Rivers is so damn annoying, but it's worth suffering through her monologues to hear her rip on celebrities. I might have to do to her what I used to do to Bob Sagat when I watched America's Funniest Home Videos: MUTE... At 10pm I had a dilemma. The second half of the season premier of the Sopranos was on at the same time as the new episode of Queer as Folk. Since I couldn't wait even another minute to see QAF, I taped the Sopranos and watched QAF.

I was having an oreo craving after seeing Sandra Bullock munching on them, so Chuck stopped by the store while on his walk and got me a bag of mini-oreos (it was all they had). I used the cheating chopsticks Jenny got me to dip my tiny little oreos in milk, they worked perfectly! Mmmmm...

I had to listen to the Nelly Furtado CD against my will. Chuck got it last night at Target, I think he bought it just to annoy me and it's working. I hate that damn bird song, she should adjust the words: "I eat like a bird, a strong breeze will make me fly away..."

Totally Contrived Island

I watched the final episode of Temptation Island the other night. Here's my brief summary:

Girl 1 when interviewed alone: I made a real connection with this other guy and hope to see him again. [oh yeah, she's gonna dump him]

Guy 1 when interviewed alone: I made a real connection with this other girl and hope to see her again. [oh yeah, he's gonna dump her]

[They come together, both have very serious grim looks on their faces.]

Guy 1 when together: I had a great time cheating on you and made a real emotional connection with someone else, but it just made me realize how much I love you. [totally contrived speech with plot twist]

Girl 1 when together: When I saw you in that hammock, I went crazy so I proceeded to make a real emotional connection with someone else but it only made my feelings for you stronger. [totally contrived speech with plot twist]

Kiss, kiss, hug, hug, cry, cry... Will you marry me? ... happy ending.

Girl 2 and Guy 2

Same as Girl and Guy 1 except more like this, "when I saw you stripping, I went crazy so I proceeded to got intimate with someone else but it only made my feelings for you stronger. "

Kiss, kiss, hug, hug, cry, cry... happy ending

Guy and Girl 3

Girl 3 when interviewed alone: I don't care what he did, I only hope that he has regrets. I'll just die if he dumps me. [very sad eyes]

Guy 3 when interviewed alone: I don't regret anything. Gettin' with those girls were two of the best days of my life. [oh no, he's going to dump her and she will be devastated!]

[They come together, both have very serious grim looks on their faces.]

Girl 3 when together: [reading from cheat sheet] I held back and resisted temptation because I love you so much. [VERY sad eyes]

Guy 3 when together: I had a great time cheating on you and made a real emotional connection with someone else, but it just made me realize how much I love you. [whoa, yet ANOTHER plot twist!]

Kiss, kiss, hug, hug, cry, cry... happy ending