Friday, January 31, 2003

Celeb Spotting

At dinner Monday night, got a peek at two celebs... Steven Weber, of Wings fame, and Mandy Moore... she had the hat on she wears on Mtv all the time or I might not even recognized her. She seemed tall. Those were my only proximity encounters, and barely that, but still fun.

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

Shop till you Drop

Marathon shopped in Rochester last weekend. Jenny is my shopping enabler. Dangerously close to needing Shopaholics Anonymous. I think my stress is driving me to overindulge in things that make me feel good, such as shopping and eating. I'll have to talk to my therapist about that.

Bought stuff such as:

- a new vacuum (it sucks, bah hah)
- bookshelves
- a shirt for Mya
- duvet covers and sheets for the spare room
- candy
- new pants (4 pairs)
- cheekies (if you don't know, I'm not telling)
- pantyhose
- cool colored notebooks from the gap
- a pink trench from Banana Republic
- yet another pair of black boots
- a necklace
- a fresh supply of Vinefit moisturizer
- eyeshadow from the gap
- undies

Monday, January 27, 2003

I'm still up. Shit. Have to get up in about 2 hours. MF.

Insomniac Theater

I think I have full blown insomnia. I am just NOT TIRED at night. I should be comatose right now - I got 4 hrs sleep last night (my Sis and the baby spent the night - Sis and I stayed up VERY late, then I was up another hour). Tomorrow (ok, actually today), I have to get up at 4:30am for my trip. So I'm looking at about 3 1/2 hours sleep.

I'm tired as F** in the mornings. It's brutal. Wonder what happens with prolonged sleep deprivation? Irritablity to be sure ((*&%$$^%$@^%$#^%$!

At the moment, the only reason I'm not dreading tomorrow is... Jamba is only about 12 hours away!

Jenny and I were talking about this guy we know who seems to be particularly boring. In being optimistic, I suggested that maybe he is interesting, once you get to know him. Then she told me of his attitude toward food - that it's just for survival, not enjoyment. That changed my mind. I'm sorry, but IMHO, anyone who feels that way has many screws loose. I LIVE to eat, I don't eat to live.

Food can make you happy (Jamba)...

or sad (taco bell burrito)...

or calm (Starbucks)...

or hyper (Krispy Kreme)...

Food forms friendships and bonds families.

Food is love... and when I'm out west this week, I will be head over heels!

Great Ads

While Chuck watched the Superbowl, I ran in for the commercials. There were some good ones - my favorites were some of the Budweiser ones...

, where the guy in the upside down clown suit drinks a bud - sick, lovely, potty humor...


"Sounds of the Sea"
, where the crab clamps on to the guys lip, hilarious!

Friday, January 24, 2003

I'm a Slider, He's a Slider... Wouldn't You Like to be a Slider too

Jenny found an article entitled, "SLIders & the Streetlight Phenomenon". It starts off..."Do streetlights suddenly go out when you pass beneath them? Do watches or credit cards stop working in your possession? Perhaps you are a SLIder."

Jenny remembered that most of my watches are dead, I often have computer and other electrical related problems that no one else seems to be experiencing, and my Wegman's Shopper's Club Card won't swipe anymore. Jenny deduced that I am a SLIder.

Apparently things like this happen:
  • Appliances such as lamps and TVs go on and off without being touched.
  • Lightbulbs constantly blow when the SLIder tries to turn them off or on.
  • Volume levels change on TVs, radios, and CD players.
  • Watches stop working.
  • Children's electronic toys start by themselves when the SLIder is present.
  • Credit cards and other magnetically encoded cards are damaged or erased when in their possession.
I DEFINITELY notice street lights popping off as I approach - I thought it happened often to everyone, but apparently not. According to the article, if it happens on a regular basis, you're probably a SLIder.

I was telling my brother about it and he said it happens to him all the time, especially when he is "about to snap" - take note, Eddie said that to me WITHOUT me telling him that the research indicates it happens more often when the SLIDER is "in an extreme emotional state"... wild! It must be hereditary!

Thursday, January 23, 2003

On the Mend

Well, I either had that Norwalk virus that's going around (and apparently taking out whole schools worth of people)... either that, or it was food poisoning from Taco Bell. I was up all night Monday violently vomiting - threw up 10 times - never been so sick in all my life. After the vomiting stopped, my stomach hurt like I'd done 1000 situps. Then the weakness and dizziness hit. Today my dr. told me to dring a gallon of water to help my "off-kilterness". It helped, I'm almost normal. ALMOST.

Regardless of the cause, I will NOT be partaking of a taco bell Grilled Stuft Burrito EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

The only good - I lost 2 pounds (and maybe strenghtened my abs too) - woo hoo

Saturday, January 18, 2003

Went and saw "Two Weeks Notice" last night... it was cute and funny - not as good as "Bridget Jones Diary", but entertaining.

They played the trailer for "A Guy Thing"... for some reason, movies about guys-that-are-already-engaged-but-fall-for-the-wild-crazy-free-spirit-type-girl really PISS ME OFF. It just seems really insulting to the fiance and to love in general. Not as insulting as Joe Millionaire (who, incase you haven't heard, was not only a former underwear model, but also acted in a soap opera and was living in a $1.7M house shortly before the show started), which highlights the all-women-are-golddiggers stereotype, but still annoying.

The sad part... I watch Joe Millionaire and I want to see "A Guy Thing".. but I can still be pissed if I want to!

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

I got new beauty goodies yesterday... I got:

an Enzyme Peeling kit... kind of afraid to use it though... afraid I will look like a beet... will wait for the weekend...

a teeny tiny Prada lip balm (I paid $5 for less lip balm than what I could get if I had someone else slather on chapstick and then scraped off the residual)

and... the one I can't wait to try... Slimming Cellulite Seaweed Soap! The directions tell you to (and I quote - verbatim), "perform pinch and massage until you feel a warm sensation".
Sounds like instructions out of a sex manual. But hey, I'll do anything for firmer thighs.

You'll have to check back to find out results...

Monday, January 13, 2003

Maurice Gibb died today, under questionable circumstances after surgery... earily familiar...

Oh, and Pete Townsend got arrested on suspicion of possessing... no, not marijuana - as I expected to read... possession of KIDDIE PORN. What the hell is this world coming to?

Sunday, January 12, 2003

I am anxiously awaiting the release of the movie, Old School. Jeremy Piven is in it, so it's on top of my list. Mind you, Jeremy barely get's mentioned when the movie is promoted, but I'm sure he will be good in it.

It actually has quite an impressive cast which includes... Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Andy Dick, Craig Kilborn, Juliette Lewis, Breckin Meyer, Leah Remini (who Jenny says I remind her of - not my looks, but my smartassness) and Seann Wiliam Scott, who makes a cameo.

And the director, Todd Phillips, is the same guy who did Road Trip and is doing Starsky and Hutch.

Saturday, January 11, 2003

Another slight headache, honestly it's probably just stress.

I'm glad I wrote that out though, because it's one of the few regrets I have with Mom... I wish we'd have talked about the big "what if"... So, I thought it might be ok to express how I'd feel if I were to be gone, since I wish I'd have done that with her.

Now I'll have to put a link on my blog... "if I die, click here" so people can get back to those thoughs, hopefully MANY MANY years from now.
I've been having alot of headaches lately. Last Friday I had one so bad that I thought Chuck was going to find me dead. Since then, they've been mild but abundant. Aspirin helps, but incase there's something really wrong with me & I'm not long for this world, I'd like to say this:

I was a blessed person.
I was blessed with a loving family.
I was blessed with great friends.
I was blessed with humor and kindness, both given & received.
and I was blessed with an abundance of love in my life.

I left not wanting for anything.
I will be happy to see Mom and Dad and Punky again.
I will miss you all and, though I know you will miss me, try not to be sad.
Try to laugh, love and enjoy life even more, as that is what I would want for you.

And when you hear a song that reminds you of me,
it's my little way of saying hello, from wherever I might be.

Friday, January 10, 2003

Thank You
Thank you for all the supportive comments about yesterday's blog... Cin, it helps to know that I'm not the only one who's had to go through this kind of thing (oh, and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!)

I don't think Stepdad realized he did such a shitty thing, he does mean well, he's just off his rocker at the moment.

Not sure why my rocker has remained intact. Someone should do a case study. I honestly think that humor and supportive family & friends has been the key.
Hot and Cold
Nice... Chuck's in Florida... just got out of the hot tub and is heading home* to have cookie dough ice cream... and I'm here in Frozenville after driving all the way home in 4WD, listening to my neighbor shovel snow and ice off his driveway and feeling sickly full from eating too much Dinosaur BBQ.

I can't feel too bad though, I will be in LA in two weeks sipping Jamba Juice and enjoying some sunshine. LA will be business with not much time for fun, but then I'm taking a side vacation to Vegas to see my brother's new house and visit. I will be partaking of the nickel slot machines at the Hard Rock Hotel... and this time, if I get to meet Vin Diesel there (as I did in 1999 and barely gave him the time of day), I will at least touch his arm and say something witty - which I will obviously have to think of ahead of time - or risk saying something totally cheesy, like "if I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me".

*home is his parent's house

BTW, staying distracted helps me to cope with the grief. Humor is a nice distraction. Thinking of Vin Diesel's bod works temporarily too.

Thursday, January 09, 2003

Had a bit of a setback today. Was doing somewhat better in the "grieving" realm, dealing better, crying less... then this...

My Stepdad sold the house and needs to be out by the end of the month. On Monday I was going through stuff from the upstairs bedrooms, finding mostly things from my teenage years... my signed Judas Priest mirror, my Def Leppard wall hanging... along with some very emotional treasures... a letter from my Mom sent to me at college, a card to me for my 19th birthday, "I can't believe my little girl is turning 19!" she wrote...

I'd only gotten through about a third of the room when I had to go, so I told him I'd come back today to finish. Well, he ended up throwing everything else out. EVERYTHING! GONE! Claims he thought I was done going through it, but I just think he willed himself to believe that because he is the most impatient man on the f**king planet. Mom died and he ran out and immediately bought a new truck, a new house... then a new woman - and, within a week of his "revelation" that he loved her, gave her a f**king ring and asked her to marry him! All within two months of Mom's death.

I'm sure he not only threw away more letters and cards I'd saved from Mom but probably also from my Dad (who died 11.5 years ago) too.

I think this is enough to bring on my anger phase. (*&(*#&($*&@^$*&@^*&$^*#^*&#^$*&^#

Then, on the way home, I'm flipping stations and hear pieces of songs that remind me of how I feel, remind me that she's gone, remind me of her eyes, remind me how much I love and miss her...

first it was, "Stay" by Jackson Browne...
oh won't you stay, just a little bit longer... please, please, say you will

then, it was "Aint too Proud to Beg" by The Temptations...
Please don’t leave me girl, don’t you go

then "Only the Good Die Young" by Billy Joel...

then "Your Song" by Elton John...
So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do
You see I've forgotten, if they're green or they're blue
Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

... I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

then "Letters to You", by Finch...
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so

Music can be brutal. That's why I didn't listen to the radio for at least a month after she died.

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Well, I think my shallow post was a little cathartic, but it still felt a bit wrong. Not that I feel guilty for having a laugh or thinking of something enjoyable - Mom would want me to be happy - but sadness still fills a majority of my thoughts.

Lately though, food is a close second. Not that I'm indulging, but I am having food fantasies*.
*my term for thinking loving thoughts ABOUT food, not using food during loving.

I am going to LA at the end of the month and am driving DIRECTLY from the airport to Jamba Juice (thanks to Jenny who got me addicted). I am also excited to go to Lola's and have Baked Macaroni and Cheese and a Plate of Homebaked Cookies for dessert - they come to you piping hot. I am in dire need of some serious comfort food - and I think mac & cheese and cookies are about the best you're gonna get.

On that note, I really want to start a cookie delivery business. I'm not talking boring old cold cookies. I'm talking homemade cookies, delivered piping hot directly from the oven. I saw it on a show on The Food Network (that Jenny is addicted to now, thanks to me). I predict a huge future in hot, fresh cookies delivered to your door with a bottle of milk. I told Chuck he could be a Hot Cookie delivering hot cookies. I don't think he's going to take me up on it.

Thursday, January 02, 2003

Let's see if I can attempt some shallow commentary that used to make up my blog content most of the time...

Some celebs I think are hot:

Colin Firth (... it's the accent... and the kissing scene from Bridget Jones Diary)

Vin Diesel (just for the bod... ooh)

George Clooney (rugged, handsome looks combined with a great sense of humor)

Jeremy Piven (liked him since the 80s... endearingly handsome)

Honorable Mention: Viggo Mortensen, Vince Vaughn, Hugh Jackman...

Lenny Kravitz may have made the list... until I took notice of his bellybutton, it's just wrong. That dude is in need of umbilicoplasty!!

Oh, and while I was looking for pictures, I came across the site - in case anyone's interested. It's especially nice that you can look up pictures based on the amount of chest hair they have. Heh heh.
New Year's Eve wasn't so happy. For some reason, at midnight, I felt overwhelmed with sadness. On one hand, the worst year of my life is over, but in reality, I know that a calendar change is not going to make anything easier. I also really missed my midnight call from Mom, she called every year to wish us Happy New Year. Eddie and I sobbed on the phone together, we miss her so much.

On a lighter note... Chuck and I watched "Reign of Fire". I've officially lost interest in Matthew McConaughey. After seeing him in a skirt at the Toronto Int'l film festival last year and then noticing the gigantic vein down the middle of his forehead in "The Wedding Planner"... well, yikes! Christian Bale on the other hand, well, he was looking fine.