Undercover Brother

Went and saw Undercover Brother this weekend. It was hilarious! It evolved from the Undercover Brother webseries of animations.

Dave Chapelle, one of my favorite comedians, was in it, along with Chris Kattan and Neil Patrick Harris (aka Doogie Howser, MD). A must see.

I found out that Denise Richard's butt was digitally "enhanced" (bootified =) for this movie poster. In reality she's got a flat little butt.

Straight and Narrow

I've gotten questions about the cost of Thermal Reconditioning, so here's more details than you ever wanted to know about my hair and the info I got from my "consultation" on TR.

About me and my hair:

• it's naturally curly but fine/thin, just beyond shoulder length
  
• with current cut, it looks like shit curly and I end up wearing it up
  
• takes about 15 minutes to blowdry straight, but it's a frizzy, poofy straight so I have to flat iron to get it smooth - ~another 10 min.
  
• if I spend 25 min and get my hair straight, sleek & smooth, then get rained on at all, it frizzes and poofs out
  
• the newspaper and the quote my sis got in a phone call to the salon said that the cost would range from $250-$400 depending on hair type. With my hair type, I assumed $300 at the most.

What I learned in my consultation:

• the stylist had TR done on herself ~2 wks ago
  
• her hair looked pretty nice (it was dyed black)
  
• she determined it could be safely done to my hair (you can't have/get highlights or hair can break off)
  
• no more frizz (rain be damned)
  
• still need to blowdry to get hair totally smooth, but should cut drying time significantly (her blowdry used to take over an hour, now it takes 10 min)
  
• should last 6-8 months as weight of hair will pull regrowth pretty straight
  
• process takes about 4 hours
  
• basically, they condition your hair, rinse, blowdry, apply more stuff, flat iron it, apply neutralizer, rinse (to get more details, check thermalreconditioning.com)
  
• need to cut a little bit off the ends afterward as it does tend to fry the ends a bit
  
• tends to lighten hair a shade or two, but you can get a color rinse right after
  
• they give you a special shampoo and conditioner that you MUST use
  
• you shouldn't wash your hair for 2-3 days after
  
  AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST:
  
• it will cost me $400!! (apparently the paper was wrong and the base price is $400... I think they jacked the price up when they saw how much interest there was)
  

So... the pros and cons:
PROS:

• less time doing hair
  
• improves hair condition (smoother and shinier)
  
• no more frizz
  
• no more sore arms from blowdrying for 20 minutes
  
• no more need for Frizz-ease, Phytodefrisant, Str8, Bed Head Control Freak, and so on...
  

CONS:

• $400
• they're pretty new to it
• can't wear it curly (but it looks like shit curly anyway, so that's not really a con)
• Joel thinks "the salon" (heretofore unnamed) that is doing it here sucks and my hair will fall out

Wagonville

Well, it's been 3.5 days of healthy eating and I'm not fantasizing about Krispy Kremes yet.

Tuesday, I got on the scale and it appeared I had lost 5 pounds. I thought, "Dear Jesus, miracles do happen!!"... then I looked closely at the scale and saw that it was not set at 0, it was -5. I had hit it with the door and knocked it out of balance the night before. CRUEL, CRUEL WORLD!!

So in reality, I'm barely a half pound lighter since Sunday. UGH! IMPATIENT! WANT TO BE SKINNY IMMEDIATELY!!

Straighter Days Ahead

I have a consultation at a salon in Rochester tonight to see if I'm a candidate for Thermal Reconditioning. The only place doing it in Rochester as far as I know.

Looks like it may happen. I'm a bit nervous... but the thought of cutting 20 minutes out of my morning routine is very appealing. And no more frizz? Worth every penny.

By the time my hair grows back out, I will probably be dying for curly hair again...

Should I do it?

Not so Good News

Punky had his checkup today, not the best news. His liver number is about the same, down slightly, but his red blood cell count is really low. Before it was normal - 44% - today it was 22% - below 10% is life threatening. He started on special food today (which, thank God, the picky little sh*t likes) so that should help. We can go to every other day with his IV and see how he does.

He's not really getting used to it, he's getting worse. It's not a simple, quick injection. We have to administer fluids with a big (I'd pass out if it had to be used on me) needle for about 5 minutes per spot, three to four spots per session. Chuck swears that Punky "squinches up his skin" to make it harder to find a spot to put the needle. Punky always looks very pissed and lately he turns around and looks at Chuck as if to say, "please, leave me alone". He doesn't hold a grudge though, he's still very snuggly.

Overall, he appears to be doing well, so I won't worry too much... but, well, that's a lie. I will worry.

Wagon City

Well, after a very indulgent weekend, I am now officially back on the wagon (eating healthy). As per usual, I had to have a last hurrah with my most favorite and craving-inspiring foods to get it out of my system.

My last hurrah included - a grilled cheese bacon burger at Friendly's, a smoothie from TCBY, a grilled ham & cheese, potato chips, some Milky Way miniatures, breakfast at IHOP (with hash browns, of course), lots and lots of melted cheese with tortilla chips, and, of course, Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donuts (about 6 over 2 days).


All behind me. I'm on to chicken, vegetables, protein shakes, yogurt, oatmeal, and diet popsicles. Woo hoo. Must not only fit in to current clothes, but hoping to eventually fit in to the "skinny" clothes that have been hanging bored in my closet for a while now. Wonder if they're still in style.

Pampered Chef

Though I rarely cook, I love kitchen gadgets. I don't necessarily have a gadget for everything, like Jenny who has a special marshmallow toasting stick, but I do enjoy the special tool here and there.

Pampered Chef has been the source of alot of my faves, such as my food chopper, and tonight I went to a party and got more stuff.

I bought the Deluxe Cheese Grater, which also grates chocolate. I envision serving all kinds of fancy coffees and hot chocolates with grated chocolate on top. I think I will pre-grate a bunch of chocolate just to have on hand for all those this-calls-for-some-grated-chocolate occasions. You can also switch the handedness, so hubby - who's a lefty - can find his inner gourmet chef and whip me up something-involving-something-grated.

I think the first recipe I will try will be Fantastic Focaccia Bread. Mmm.

BTW, Jenny might have a special fork for toasting marshmallows, but she doesn't have an Angelus-Campfire Bar-B-QQ Marshmallow Toaster. It's like a tiny little grill for marshmallows. Nifty!

Creepy Characters

My recent visit to Disney reminded me that people in costume freak me out. Not normal people dressed up for Halloween or Drag Queens, but people who's job it is to walk around in costume and in character.

It stems from an incident when I was 15, visiting DisneyWorld for the first time. Pluto wrapped that big old paw around me and... well... grabbed my butt. I didn't realize at the time that people in costume can barely see and are probably on the verge of unconsciousness from the heat generated inside, so the damage was done. I assumed that inside all those costumes were pervs waiting to fondle some unsuspecting young girl.

Here is some evidence:

Donald is looking right at my chest.

So beside from worrying that they're pervs, I don't know what to say to someONE, someTHING, that either doesn't talk back at all or talks back is some wierd persona. How the hell am I, your average middle America suburbanite, supposed to relate to a Klingon? This very dilemma presented itself to me a few years back at the Star Trek Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton and I had not yet studied up at The Klingon Language Institute. (It was bad enough that half the people dressed in costume were actually VISITORS and not employees). It was not pleasant. How do you say "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME" in Klingon?

Design Addict

In doing some research for work, I found a really cool website - designaddict.com. They link to some pretty incredible stuff, including some of my favorites - Alessi, Koziol, Porshe...


Egg Cup by Stefano Giovannoni for Alessi


Buy it online at Chiasso.com

Going Straight

Last week I got an email from a woman with the newspaper. She had read my blog about Thermal Reconditioning and asked if I knew of any place locally that did it, they wanted to write an article about it. Today I read the article to find out that they do it at Shear Ego. I'm a bit perterbed however, since she didn't give me a heads up notice. I had replied to her an email with "if I find anything out, I'll let you know and if you find anything out, let me know." Well, that's a find how-do-you-do, she lets me wait to read it in the newspaper and now I'll probably not only have trouble getting an appointment, but have to pay more since they'll probably jack up their prices as soon as the phone calls start rolling in. Grrr.

Who am I kidding. I can't afford it. Then again, having my hair straightening regime go from 20 minutes to 2 is worth something, isn't it?

H&M

An H&M store is opening near us at Eastview Mall. Yay. Cheap, chic clothes.

Getting Better

This weekend went much better than last. My sister is still in the hospital, but doing well. She may be in there for months, until she has the baby. They'd let her go home if she'd stay in bed, but we all know my sister - she'd try to cook, clean, rearrange furniture... so she's staying put for now.

Punky is home and appears to be doing well. He doesn't have diabetes and his kidney numbers have improved. Chuck and I learned how to inject him with fluid to keep him hydrated. Each session involves up to four injections, to spread the fluid around. We do that every day for at least the next two weeks, then it *may* go to every other day. Today was our first full try without the vet watching over us. It didn't go as well as we'd hoped. Yesterday with the Vet he didn't fuss at all, today he growled and cried. Thank God Chuck has the courage to stick him with the needle, I'm not sure I could do it. Definitely a two person job though, so I hold Punky still and try to keep him calm. Just having his fuzzy little head near mine makes life better, so I'll do whatever I can to keep him around longer.

Back to the Cold

Back from Orlando today, to 50 degree weather (which suddenly feels MUCH colder). I was having some really bad flying karma up until today, when things went more smoothly. On my flight back from Colorado last Friday, a belligerent drunk guy was yelling stuff out to anyone who would listen. I was very relieved that he wouldn't be next to me since I had checked into an empty row while he was already in the bar. Skip to the chase, the drunk guy got pulled off, almost kicked off, but they let him back on only to sit, yes... in my row. THANK GOD not directly next to me, but still. He continued to be loud and stupid, but I managed to tune him out.

Then, on my way to Orlando on Monday, I got stranded at the Charlotte airport for 10 hours. I kept contemplating calling Natalie (who lives there) but each time it seemed there would not be enough time. The two hour delays kept coming though and I what was supposed to be a 1:40pm departure turned into an 11:40 departure.

I did start to read a good book - "How to be Good" by Nick Hornsby. Same guy who wrote "About a Boy" and "High Infidelity". So far, it's very funny.

All in all, that was a rough few days.

Bad Hair Day

Got my hair cut yesterday... let my stylist try out a longer version of a "new" two-layer cut... I hate it... I look stupid - and that's with it styled by him (and he can make my hair look fabulous). When I go to style it myself I'm gonna look like I cut it myself with the help of a small bowl.

I want to call him and tell him I hate it and to re-cut it, but then I'm afraid he'll get pissed and secretly make it bad (worse) just to spite me.

I really want to get it permanently straightened. This new thermal reconditioning deal seems to be amazing. It should for $500. But alas, not offered anywhere near Rochester.

Why is it that women with curly hair want straight hair and women with straight hair want curly hair? Grass is always greener...

A Splash of Color - FINALLY

Well, we finally got our mud room painted. We've had the paint for months but have been waiting for nice weather. So yesterday, with Jenny and Aaron's help, we painted one mud room wall deep orange and the others deep dark yellow. I just finished the second coat about an hour ago. It looks pretty incredible.

Keep in mind, EVERY wall in this house and our previous house has always been white. Eleven years of white walls... over. YIPEE. I've gotten enough Metropolitan Home magazines, seen enough episodes of Changing Rooms, and watched Jenny make her house look awesome with color. So I am finally inspired to be daring.

The only bad news, I will probably eat like a pig while doing laundry - both yellow and orange are said to stimulate appetite. My only hope is to paint my kitchen violet or pink. Better yet, maybe I should get a pair of sunglasses with violet lenses. Better yet, maybe I should wear purple contacts. The Violet Contact Lens Diet... genius.... oops, sidetracked.

Soon we will be painting one wall in our bedroom cobalt blue. I think it will look incredible. It's all taped off... just need to find the time... which will be hard to do since I'm going to Denver wednesday for a couple days, then Saturday is Jenny's birthday, Sunday is Mother's Day (I'm making dinner), then Monday I leave for Orlando for a week. It's CRAZY!

Sweet Tobey

What is it with me? No blog for a week. BAD.


Saw Spiderman this weekend. Aaron kindly waited one extra day since hubby and I had my Stepdad's retirement party on Friday. I won't say too much so as not to spoil it. It was a good movie. The first half was better than the second half imho. Tobey McGuire is adorable. The upside down kiss is HOT.



My brother played basketball with Tobey quite a few times back when he lived in LA. He didn't even know he was "Tobey McGuire" for the first few weeks, says that Tobey is very down to earth and unassuming and an extremely nice guy (hmm, he didn't mention that he was a good basketball player though). Nice to know not every actor has an ego the size of a small cruise ship.

I told my Stepdad that he should take my Mom to see Spiderman. It would be fitting since the last movie they saw in the theater was Superman.... yikes.

DMB

Ok, as Jenny points out, The Dave Matthews Band broke the bands-that-start-with-the-and-end-with-band-always-fail curse.

Guster

I'm getting bad about blogging... I think the weather is depressing me. Had a good weekend though, went to see Guster with Chuck, Abby, Jenny & Aaron. They are so incredible live! It was an interesting evening, here are some highlights:

- Jenny almost got in a brawl with a girl who was leaning all over her trying to get closer to the front. Jenny said, "I'm a Taurus, I'm not budging" and eventually, the girl turned around and aplogized - shocking!

- Abby and I were getting leaned on by the girl next to us too, but we suspect she was enjoying it

- the first opening band, the Blackouts, was good, though they looked like Band Nerds trying to go cool.

- the second opening band, The Gabe something-or-other Band, sucked royale. Don't they know that their name dooms them to failure anyway? I can't think of any popular "The so-and-so Band" bands, can you?

- on the way home, Chuck got pulled over for speeding. The irony of it is that Chuck is a very conscientious driver and doesn't normally speed. He was PISSED. I was sympathetic at first, knowing that I normally DO speed so I shouldn't throw stones, but after getting one too many snotty comments, I had to point out that if I had gotten a ticket, he'd have no sympathy and would lecture me like I was his teenage daughter. He's still stressing about our insurance going up. Ah, the joys of being married to a Virgo (he did apologize though =).

Hell-p

Can't ............stop ..............eating ................Love .................... Hearts.

So fizzy, so yummy.... and the little sayings... so clever. I got a white one (my FAVORITE color) that said "MY ALL". I wanted to save it for a funny little moment - give it to someone and say, "here, I'm giving you MY ALL". Ha ha, cute... witty... NOPE. I ATE IT! Couldn't hold out.

Cruel Summer

How cruel is it to have the weather go from sunny and 85º to snowy 35º in a matter of days. That's Rochester for you.

Twisted and Bent

Though the weekend was getting colder and colder, it was very fun. Friday night we enjoyed The Don and Bill Show: Slightly Bent -short animated films by Don Hertzfeldt and Bill Plympton. Don Hertzfeld is a comic genius. I love him.

Saturday, Squib came for a visit and we enjoyed a day of shopping and sightseeing. I get a bit cynical about Rochester as an interesting destination, but there's some good stuff to see.

Saturday night we saw "The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert" at the Dryden. A wonderful movie! Even as a drag queen, Guy Pearce is hot. I want to be a drag queen. I want to wear outrageous clothes, wigs and makeup. Not all the time, just now and then.

Bleeping Bleep

We are developing an obscenity filter a project at work. To protect the brands. That said, it's pretty funny to be able to legitimately swear at work. Our developer is enjoying himself quite a bit in researching text to use to test the filter. He had a notepad full of printed pages with words such as "rubbers" highlighted in yellow.

I was going to post the list of words, but then I realized that every perv in the world would find my blog. YIKES. I have enough pervs reading it now ;-)

In a document I sent out, I needed to give examples of how the filter would work, but didn't want to really use bad words (well, I wanted to use them but knew it would be inappropriate), so I wrote this:

For integrity sake, lets assume the word "tog" is obscene and the word "beck" is also obscene and is often used in many creative ways to make additional obscene words. The user types the following message:

It is hot as beck down here in Florida. I almost got into a tog with a becking little old lady. She was a crazybeck from beckford. I hope I don’t look like a beckface in this picture.

The message would be filtered to result in the following:

It is hot as ***** down here in Florida. I almost got into a ***** with a ***** little old lady. She was a crazybeck from beckford. I hope I don’t look like a ***** in this picture.

I love my job.

Mac & Cheese

For Peppermint Tina, here is a link to the Macaroni & Cheese recipe I made. Only I used Monterey Jack instead of Muenster. And I topped it with fresh parmasan cheese (extra mmm factor).
Fabulous Recipes: Macaroni and Cheese

Here's the basic formula:
any cheese = good
more cheese = better
too much cheese = not possible

Girl Power

I read that this site, Bust, embodies the new feminist movement. Whatever the hell that is. Either way, maybe it's got some good stuff. I haven't looked through it yet. Let me know...

Grabby Rabbit

This is cool. Thanks to Tim for sharing...

grabby rabbit

The Day I Almost ate $10,000

Today was Comfort Food Day at work. We ate a ton of food. I brought in homemade baked macaroni & cheese - mmmmm. I also brought in a package of Oreos. I noted that the package advertised the chance to win $10K, so I assumed there'd be a game piece inside.



After shovelling down about 5 oreos, four with smiley faces and one with an "M" on it (briefly thinking, "odd, an m instead of a smiley face, hmmm... oh well" chomp, chomp, chomp), I wondered why I did not see a game piece. I decided to investigate further, only to realized that to win $10K, you needed to find 5 oreos that spelled out M-O-N-E-Y. OH THE HORROR!! I was dying as I inspected each remaining oreo. If I found O-N-E-Y in the package, I was going to commit Hary-Cary! Thank GOD it wasn't the case. Sarah had eaten an "M" too, so we deduced that it wasn't the winning letter.

How the HELL can they ethically have contests that involves requiring you to "keep" the actual food? They know some poor sap like me will eat first and think later and they won't have to pay. It's a ploy, a scam, and a ripoff and they deserve to be punished! I'm thinking of suing for pain and suffering for those tense moments when I thought I ate $10,000.

When I am King

This is one of the cutest & funniest online comics I've seen in a while. WARNING: It's R-rated. Thanks to Roymeo for the link (he finds the wierdest stuff =)


When I am King

Changing Rooms

Since being bedridden last week, I've become obsessed with a few shows on BBCAmerica. My absolute favorite is Changing Rooms. Neighbors, with the help of an interior designer, redo a room in the others' house in two days and with a budget of 500 pounds. They do the coolest damn things. The website has some before and after pictures. Here's one example:


BEFORE


AFTER

I'm very close to being totally inspired to actually do something to my house.

House Invaders is cool too, it's similar but they help one couple make changes throughout their house. Differences are not as dramatic.

Ground Force is interesting too, they redo a garden area, but the fact that the woman on the show goes bra-less is very disturbing. She's doing manual labor, throwing things about, with her hoo hoos flapping in the breeze (and yes, she's always cold too). On the website she even brags about it, she thinks she looks sexy. Maybe after seeing Gwyneth Paltrow at the Oscars, she'll realize it's not.

The Proximity Encounter Curse

Well, only I could be in LA on Oscars weekend and not see ONE celebrity. OK, I saw Kyle MacLachlan on his way into the Vanity Fair party but it was an oggling situation. I don't like the oggling situations, makes me feel cheesy and unimportant. I prefer an "as we passed in the grocery store I made a cute comment about freezing Peeps so you don't have to wait for them to get stale" type situation. Thus, the "proximity encounter" curse continues.

Last year I was in LA for a conference, stayed at the Beverly Hilton... home of various celebrity events. What goes on while I'm there? A tribute to Red Buttons. I see celebrities, yes... but they're all 65 or older. Oh joy.

Then, the year before that, I'm in LA for the 4th of July. Stayed at the Mondrian, a swanky Ian Schrager hotel where by day, you have a nice pool area and by night, you have the Skybar, a velvet rope night club run by Rande Gerber, hubby of Cindy Crawford. Wanted to both enjoy an exquisite hotel experience and hope to see someone cool. That day, while shopping on Melrose, I walk by Danny Bonaduce. Rather disappointing. Shouldn't Cameron Diaz be shopping on Melrose? And then, that night at the Skybar, who do I get to see? ... drumrole please...
Danny Bonaduce. I'm cursed I tell you.

I'm just betting on my next trip I'll see Gary Coleman at the Newark airport.

Debunking the California Cuisine Myth

As promised, a blog about my trip to LA. I no longer believe that LA is the healthy food capitol of the world. There is a burger joint on every corner. They have Fatburger, Astroburger, Hamburger Hamlet and, God's gift to all burger lovers, In-N-Out Burger. In-N-Out Burger is constantly mobbed. I bet even the skinny minny actresses (Jennifer Connelly, please EAT something!) go there and get a "Protein Style" - lettuce wrapped around the burger instead of a bun.

Though it was a brief trip with not enough time to hit a Jamba Juice, the two dinners I had also proved that there is rich, fattening food to be had in LA.

The first night, I went to dinner with four lovely ladies to a place Jennifer recommended -Ammo, and we ate like barbarian men. After our appetizers and soup, we ate hearty entrees - lamb chops, steak, meatloaf, porkchops and the poor vegetarian among us has risotto. We didn't stop there though, between the five of us, we got four desserts - gourmet ice cream sandwhiches, chocolate cake, mmmm. The very cute waiter was so surprised, he gave us a dessert for free with a reason something to the effect of, "you ladies really put it away".

The second night, Jamie took us to Lola's, the birthplace of the Sour Apple Martini. Their martini menu included at least 30 other choices which all sounded yummy, especially the French Kiss (with chocolate kisses) and the Clockwork Orange (with orange sherbet). If I lived in LA, I would make it my mission to try all of them. For dinner, though it could make a meal in itself, I had a side of homebaked macaroni & cheese to go with my chicken ravioli. Mmmmmm, a little bit of heaven. And again, it didn't stop there... three desserts split amoung five of us, the best being the fresh baked cookies, hot out of the oven, with a side of vanilla ice cream. Mmmmm. They ended our meal with a little tray of gumballs, which I proceed to swallow instead of chew. Some gum just needs to be swallowed, I can't stop myself.

All in all, I ate like a little piggy in LA and loved every minute of it. I can't wait to go back and have enough time to get a Jamba Juice before heading back to Lola's for more mac & cheese and a Clockwork Orange.

The Details

So some of you are wondering what happened to me. Basically it's this - problems in the baby making department. So on Monday, I was put under and had a Laproscopy, where they checked around my organs via two incisions, one at my lower abdomen and one in my belly button (which really FREAKS ME OUT - I have b.b. issues - thank God I was out cold!). Doc found a little endometriosis, got rid of it. Found alot of scarring in my uterus, cleaned it up. So, perhaps in the next few months, will get prego. Not that I'm totally ready for that, but I think I am. And after seeing how good Chuck was at waiting on me hand and foot, I feel confident that he'll take damn good care of me when I'm as big as a house and demanding Krispy Kremes at 3am, not to mention taking care of a little one.

So that's that. I'm still hobbling a little and still in a good bit of pain, but I'm also receiving cards and flowers and gifts and well-wishes from my wonderful family and friends which is priceless. I am blessed.

Ow Ow Ow

Ok, I didn't have time to write my posts and then went in for surgery. Now I am in some harsh pain and can't sit up for too long without feeling like a teenager at camp on Friday the 13th (ie, I feel like someone is stabbing me in the shoulder, stomach, and right butt cheek). Can't complain about the sleep though, getting lots of it and it's nice to just doze off whenever I feel like it. Chucky is taking stellar care of me too. The cynical side of me wants to say, "he damn well better, I'm the one going through the pain", but really I just feel very lucky and very loved by him and I know that if it could be him instead of me, he would gladly trade places.

OK, gotta go lay down now... will try again tomorrow.

Gone But Not Forgotten

Ok, I've been gone since last Sunday. I'm finally back but too tired. Will post tomorrow... topics to inlcude "Debunking the California Cuisine Myth", "The Proximity Encounter Curse" and "Flying in Style"...

The Envelope Please

Jenny was surprised to find out that the Oscar nominees receive gift baskets. Oh YES, they receive quite the basket of loot... Even those who PRESENT an Oscar get a basket worth about $20K. Barely a drop in the bucket for them, but hey, I tend to want to believe that no matter how rich you are, you always love getting free gifties. Apparently, things that are "bejeweled" are preferred. Here's some of what they're getting:


A Victoria Secret Bejeweled Bra


Motorola V70 cellphone. Hey, you can win one at motorola.com


Coach custom made director chairs

Then the presenters get stuff like this:
- Ebel stainless steel watches
- Tag Heuer Sport Vision sunglasses
- Loveletters Loungewear
- Free visit for BriteSmile Whitening treatment
- Tempur-Pedic mattress (gift certificate)
- Birkenstock shoes
- Piquadro cigar and flask holder
- Frette robe
and more...

andThings

I found a really cool blog that is linking to me... all the way from the UK. andThings. I know "Suzie" is cool because she's going to Ozzfest and she posted the words to Chop Suey by System of a Down.

BTW, if you haven't seen "The Osbournes" on Mtv, you really should, it is HILARIOUS. Ozzie is very funny. Here are a couple of zingers he's thrown out:

[To his son, who he can't hear] "I've been standing next to 35000 decibels me whole life... write me a f**kin note."

[To his wife, after discussing the problem of all his dogs - 6 of them - pooping all over the house] "I'm not picking up another turd... (pause)... I'm a rock star."

[As the dog therapist, Tamara, is leaving the house] "See ya tommorra."

My Flavor

I took the flavor test on Emode... I am Pink Grapefruit. Kindof a load of crap, but here's the description:

"Mmm ... pink grapefruit! Sweet and tart at the same time, you're bursting with sun-kissed goodness. If you were a song, you'd be "It's a Sunshine Day" by the Brady Bunch — you're just that perky and refreshing. That's not to say that you don't have an edge — quite the contrary. In fact, a little bit of sugar (aka gifts, praise, and other goodies) can always bring out your naturally sweet flavor. But when it comes down to it, you prefer folks who can match you in strength and independence. Luckily, that kind of attitude is appealing, so you always have 'em wanting more. Citrusy, tangy, and a little exotic, you're a truly tasty treat. "

What's your flavor?

Pick Me Firth

I rewatched my "Bridget Jones Diary" DVD this weekend. All I can say is... Colin Firth, Colin Firth, Colin Firth. I don't think I got the full impact of how sexy he is until I watched the kissing scene at the end again... and again... and again... God I love DVDs!

World's Best Bathrooms

Ironically enough, the Travel Channel had on World's Best Bathrooms yesterday.

Number 3 on the top 5 was a world-class portable bathroom for outdoor events (essentially a converted trailer). You know, those rich and famous people certainly aren't going to do their business in a port-o-potty. These were fan-cee. They charge $3500 per event to rent. I think I see a new business in hubby's future.

They also highlighted the bathrooms at China Grille at Mandalay Bay in Vegas. Dammit, wish I'da seen that before I went.

How Many Bites does it take to Barf

I want to barf. I just ate about 15 midgee tootsie rolls. Joel and Jenny decided that the serving size of most candy is determined by how much you can eat before you feel nauseous. Pondering that thought, I've took a guesstimate at how much I can eat of some of my favorite treats before wanting to hurl:

3 Circus Peanuts
5 Peeps (frozen)
3 Peeps (not frozen)
27 Banana Laffy Taffy
10 Large Robins Eggs
3 Handfuls of Candy Corn
3 Krispy Kreme Donuts
8 Strands of Licorice
999 Love Hearts

Restroom Rant

In all this travelling I'm doing, I've had to frequent alot of public toilets. Many annoying/upsetting things have happened, here are some:

Those toilet seat cover things rip into 3 pieces before you can even TRY to place it on the seat, then it falls into the water just as you're sitting down. Whoever invented them should give back any profit they've made and be forced to live in an old refrigerator box.

The automatic toilet flushes while your still sitting on the f**ing toilet

The plastic t.p. holder pops open and bonks you on the head.

The tp holder is so tight, as soon as you pull one square, it rips... so you have to rip off enough one square at a time for a decent wipe.

I'm the only person in the bathroom, in about the middle of a row of at least 10 stalls, with 10 empty stalls on the other side... I hear footsteps, then a women enters the stall DIRECTLY NEXT to mine!! How insane is that? Nineteen other stalls to choose from and she's gotta be RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Get the *F* away from me!

The only decent public restroom I've been in is at the Chicago airport. Lots of nice features. For one, you gotta LOVE the plastic covered toilet seat that automatically advances to present a clean portion of plastic. They also have larger doors for better privacy, they have sensors on everything so you don't have to touch stuff and they mist in a lemony scented spray to keep things smelling nice. I'm also convinced that they pipe in white noise so you CAN'T hear a pin drop (among with some more unpleasant noises) like most public bathrooms. The head of facilities at Ohare should win a Nobel Peace Prize. Why hasn't the rest of the world caught up yet?

Learn more about the History of Public Toilets. And if you're really brave, visit the Poop Page. Be sure to check out The Poopie List. ** Warning: Gross Potty Humor **

Finally Home

Well, I'm finally home again. I have been gone about 6 weeks out of the first 9 weeks of the year. Mostly good, but not all that great. The best part of leaving town is going to cities that have stuff we don't have. Like Jamba Juices, Cold Stone Creameries, Sephoras, Skinmarkets and In-N-Out Burgers. Yes folks, I'm all about food and beauty products. So I'm chubby but I smell nice.

Good Stuff

As I'd previously mentioned, I was very much looking forward to shopping at Sephora and Skinmarket while in Las Vegas. I spent an hour at Sephora and only bought one little eyeshadow, but I went buggy at Skinmarket. Here's what I got (in addition to a few gifty items):


At Sephora, I bought a Vincent Longo eyeshadow because they were cute. The one with the dark plum outside and the pinkish purple flower.


Then I got all these goodies at Skinmarket:


Love is: smooth, Pomegranate Sugar Scrub
-- haven't tried it yet but if it's like the Orange Vanilla Brown Sugar Body Scrub, it will be luscious --





tancho tique
hair control stick
from Japan
-- cool pkg, nothing special though --



brown sugar
fragrance spray
orange vanilla scented
-- mmmmmmm, I smell yummy! --






double dates
lip and cheek glaze
-- good color, has a built in mirror, very portable --



deactivator
anti-acne spot treatment
-- smells very nice, not sure it works --

I'm Off Again

Only back for 4 days and now I'm off to Orlando for a conference. I was slightly enthused because I thought it was going to be warm there, then I saw that though it's supposed to be 83 on Sunday, on Monday it drops to 59. Shit.

And I don't think there's a Jamba Juice in Orlando. Shit.

Lucky You

I've come to accept the fact that I am not a lucky person. I am fortunate... I have a very good life and good things happen to me... just not things that require luck. So, I've come to realize that I will never win any significant amount of money gambling (ie, anything over $50). I will never get bumped up to first class, therefore, I will never find myself sitting next to Benjamin Bratt on a plane discussing the effectiveness of Hooked on Phonics. I will never get picked to kiss Shamu at Seaworld. I will never be shopping in a boutique on Melrose and see Winona Ryder shoplift a Paul Frank Julius watch. I will never win the lottery. I will never get let off on a speeding ticket (well, I'm still holding out hope for this, especially if I have Grandma's Pizzelle's in the car with me to use as bribery). I will never win an Mtv contest to have Bon Jovi come and play a concert in my backyard for 200 of my closest friends (for that matter, I'll never have 200 close friends). I will never get invited to a People Magazine after-Oscars-party to mingle with Jack Nicholson and Nick Cage and I will never get picked to "come on down" on The Price is Right.

I'm Baack

I'm back from my vacation in Las Vegas and work trip to the Olympics. I am tired, have a cold, and generally feel like a loser (thanks mainly to the video poker slots in Vegas). But all in all, it was a good trip. Jenny and Aaron did a stellar job taking care of Grizzy and Punky. Apparently Grizzy got vacuumed every day (he LOVES it) but, alas, he won't get the same treatment at home. But that's what grandparents are for, spoiling. Heh, heh.

The highlight of my trip? Yes, believe it or not, a small bit of luck. Hubby spotted Steve Young walking behind us on the street in Salt Lake City. I got my picture with him (thanks to my coworker Tom who insisted on asking), and chatted with him for a few moments. I think he might have thought I was about 12 years old, but hey, whatever works. As he called to his wife and walked off, I considered calling to him, "hey, need another wife?" but in light of the fact that his current wife is ten times better looking than me, I quickly realized that I would be the ugly, cookin' & cleanin' wife, so I scratched that idea.

Jamba Justice

I emailed Jamba Juice today... here's what I said:

"The family vacation was planned. We were going to Las Vegas. I'd been there many times and even lived there for a while, so my excitement was absent. That was UNTIL I checked the Jamba Juice website (I am a Jamba addict who lives in a city FAR from any locations) and saw that there were a few in Vegas.

Thrill set in and I couldn't wait to get off the plane and have my first Orange-a-Peel in 7 months.

Shortly after arriving, I checked the phone book and called. Disconnected. Panic set in. Then, after calling directory assistance, my worst fears are realized... my hopes dashed... they've all been closed.

I can forgive you for closing the stores, I assume business was not up to par (which is beyond my comprehension), but I cannot forgive you for not updating your web site. It is unforgivable and I am still recovering from the wounds.

Please make every effort to keep your web site up to date so no one else has to suffer like me.

And to add insult to injury, I left Las Vegas for Park City, Utah... again with hopes up to visit the Jamba Juice I had frequented every day of my one week visit last year, only to find the sign gone and the windows papered over.

I did finally find salvation on 400 Street in Salt Lake City, but it's been a long hard road.

Sincerely,
an addict who wished you'd open a store in Rochester, NY"

They better send me a case of Jamba Juice in a little cooler like the one Jenny got from Dean & Deluca.

I'm ALIVE

FINALLY, internet access! I've been lost. Anyhoo, quick quick update. Done with Vegas, could have done without Vegas. Very much enjoyed visiting my brother though. Ate at waaay too many buffets. We're not talking normal buffets where you have a few items to choose from... we're talking buffets where you leave your wagon at the door only to have it hijacked by circus performers and not returned for weeks. Choices of food from every type... American, Mexican, Italian, Chinese, BBQ, shakes, and the dessert selections, they're enough to send a diabetic into shock just LOOKING at them.

Anyhoo, I'm fatter and now in Salt Lake. Trying to get all my credentials straightened out as I am currently a peon's peon.

I'm hoping that Grizzy and Punky are not driving Jenny and Aaron insane.

Gotta go.

Hip Hotels + Cool Toiletries = Frustration

Ok, I'm up late. Can't sleep. Mind racing. Looking up hotel rates for Vegas and LA as the timeshare ends on the 16th but we're in Vegas til the 18th. Most likely will stay with my brother, but it's tempting to see about staying at The Hard Rock Hotel, The Venetian, The Palms, The Bellagio... along with fantasies of driving to LA and staying at one of the many hip hotels with cool, contemporary design (even 5 star hotels in Vegas have cheesy decor)... hotels like The Mondrian... I've stayed there once before, it is the epitomy of high design, but unfortunately, it costs big bucks to be hip... or Maison 140 in Beverly Hills which offers Philosophy toiletries and is actually reasonably priced... or it's sister hotel, The Avalon, which has a special Avalon Chillout Package for $199 per night where you get the Chillout Session cd from Ministry of Sound, a bottle champagne and a 50 minute massage in your room. May not be able to pass that one up...

** rant ** I want to be able to look up hotels by what toiletries they offer or by what type of interior design they have. Why is this so f*in difficult? You'd think hiphotels.net would have good info, right? NOPE. They don't even list The Mondrian. UGH. And if a hotel has Kiehl's toiletries (like 15 Beacon in Boston), that's something that would sway my decision. I hate that Bath & Body Works Juniper Breeze sh*t. It smells gross! ** rant over **

My searchings did lead me to this cool website, Splendora.com, to find out the best places to get pamered in NY and LA.

I think I see a market for a website! I'd be able to write off all my travels and stays. JACKPOT. Gonna have to look into that when I get back home.

Get Your Love On

So in checking up on my email, I had a nice little mailer from Skinmarket, one of my very favorite stores, which I WILL be patronizing while in Vegas. They have a new sugar body scrub. I've used the brown sugar body scrub in "Deliciousness" and it is just so yummy I want to lick myself (on the arm, perverts). They now have "love is: smooth" pomegranate sugar scrub. Gonna get me some of that.

Olympic Dreams

As it gets closer to the opening of the Olympics, more and more people are realizing that I'm gonna be there... so the requests are rolling in.

Joel wants an olympic snowglobe for Hannah.



Michael (my brother-in-law) wants an olympic team hockey jersey.



And Squib wants Powder (the love hearts bribe is an offer I can't refuse):



May I add that I am giving mad props to whoever came up with the mascots for Salt Lake 2002. They are the cutest mascots ever!!!

Don't Go in The Water

Just this weekend, Jenny was pondering if Will & Grace was about the "jump the shark" by having Matt Damon on as a guest star. I made her explain the term "jump the shark" as I wasn't sure the meaning. She explained that it is the point at which a tv show does some crazy stunt to get ratings and after that point, the show goes into the toilet and eventually gets cancelled. The term was coined based on the Happy Days episode where Fonzie jumped the shark. (SIDE NOTE: I had the BIGGEST crush on Richie - Ron Howard... long before he went bald... yep, had a thing for red hair and freckles back then)

Anyhoo, today I happened upon a website all about Jumping the shark - www.jumptheshark.com.

The best part about it, you get to vote when you think a show jumped the shark.

Drink Me

Taking Daniela's lead, I checked to see what drink I am...



Which drink are you?

I LIKEY IKEA

Headin' to IKEA tomorrow. Very excited. Want to buy stuff. Want buy stuff to organize my stuff. Need places to put my stuff. Jenny's gonna shop for stuff for her new house, I'll help.

My one concern... will Chuck go the extra hour to Toronto so I can buy Love Hearts at SugarMountain? It's a tough sell, I might have to highjack the Blazer and drive myself. Hey, you do whatever it takes to feed an addiction.

REMINDER TO SELF: Don't eat the swedish meatballs - last time they tasted good going down, but not so good coming back up for the next 12 hours.

I've got Bawls

A bunch of us went out tonight, it was a great time. After dinner and Movies on a Shoestring, we went to The Spot Coffee shop. I got a bottle of Bawls. I bought it for two reasons - 1) the bottle is really cool looking and 2) the soda is made from guarana, a small fruit found in Brasil. I had diet guarana soda while in Brasil and liked it alot as I'd normally rather drink puddle water than diet soda.

What I didn't realize, when making the purchase at 10:30pm, is that it's a caffeine drink... you know, where they add a sh*tload of caffeine supposedly for "maintaining peak performance". "BAWLS Guarana is a light and refreshing beverage that gives an exhilarating boost". I drank about a third, it is light and refreshing... and the "exhilarating boost" explains the 12:45am blog, but if I'd have drank it all, I'd be watching the sun rise.

Itty Bitty Elephants

I found an article on the web (apparently from Weekly World News) that claims some Russian scientist found a way to splice mouse genes into elephant genes and create tiny elephants. And they're all the rage in California at only $350.

The article says they "provide hours of fun with hilarious antics such as:
- Butting their little heads in fights.
- Letting out squeaky "roars."
- Using their trunks to pick up pennies, pins and matchsticks.
- Stampeding in panic from "threats" such as vacuum cleaners."

Dr.Muskovic says they should be available nationwide by spring and predicts "every little boy and girl in America is going to want one."

I know it's a load of crap, but I WANT ONE!!!

More Bad Male Prostitute Names

All inspired by food:
Puddin'
Jello
Soft Serve
Slim Jim (credit: Jenny)

Well Hello Big Mac!

While helping Jenny at her new house last night - munching on Wendy's takeout - the topic came up about the male brothel in England that had closed down. Apparently, the men weren't asking for payment up front, so when it came time to fork over cash, the women would only pay what they thought the men were worth. Thus driving the brothel to bankruptcy.

From there, inspired by the mention of the word "tiny" and in turn, the "BIGGIE" french fry box, we ended up coming up with nicknames you would NOT want if you worked in a male brothel and nicknames you WOULD want if you worked in a male brothel.

Nicknames you would NOT want if you worked in a male brothel:
- Tiny
- Stubby
- Pee Wee

Nicknames you WOULD want if you worked in a male brothel:
- Mr. Big
- Biggie
- Big Mac
- Whopper
- Chalupa
- Snake (inspired by the topic of fixing the drain)

Basically, the whole fast food ordering system would probably work well for a male brothel. The women could drive up and say, "I'd like a Whopper meal and please super-size it."

FBPOTM

My favorite beauty product of the moment is my Shu Uemura eyelash curler. I got it for Christmas from my brother and sister-in-law. It got me stopped by airport security, but it was well worth it. It's a great little tool, every girl should have one.

That Cat Hates Moby

Tonight I read in Rolling Stone that Moby had to be hospitalized after being bitten by a stray cat he tried to pet. I sent him the link to mycathatesyou.com. Obviously, the cat that bit him hates him and his music*.

*the opinions expressed by hateful cats in no way reflect the opinions of the owner of this blog

My Cat Hates You

Natalie posted the link to this website, mycathatesyou.com. I think it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Here's an example of what you'll find:


"Louie hates you to the core. Not even cute stuffed animals escape his wrath..."

Nutty Diet Plan

Peanut butter is a hot topic recently. First I read about peanut butter slices, then I read about research that shows that eating peanut butter can help you lose weight AND lower your cholesterol!

I think it works because you feel more satiated and full. Even the men's magazines are talking about it (side note: the fact that Men's magazines discuss diet issues is both disturbing and deeply rewarding at the same time).

There's a woman's version of the diet on iVillage, though it includes other stuff like olive oil and peanut oil. Not quite the "eat a tablespoon full of peanut butter on top of a miniature chocolate bar" diet that I was hoping for, oh well.

All I know is, I'll be having pb&j (that's reduced fat peanut butter on light wheat bread with a teaspoon of jelly) every day until my clothes fit comfortably again.

There's also a book, The Peanut Butter Diet (of course) available on Amazon..

Funny Girl

One example of why Jenny is so funny... In a discussion about having judges for our food contests we do at work (for example, Cookiepalooza), Jenny was making the argument for allowing everyone to vote on a winner vs. having designated judges. Here's what she said, in a matter of fact tone:

"Let's say you have three judges and two of them don't like nuts - you're little nut cookies are screwed!"

Focus, Focus, Focus

I'm having the same problem as Joel, I'm having trouble focusing on work.

I will have been gone 5.5 of the first 10 weeks of the year. Brasil took up two and soon I'm off to Vegas (for vacation) and Salt Lake City (for work). Then, after being home for 4 days, I head to Orlando for a kiosk convention. I know it all sounds great, but let me weigh the pros and cons.

:: Vegas ::

PROS: time with hubby; nickel slots at the Hard Rock Hotel (if I can get anyone to go there with me); potential celebrity sightings; get to visit with Eddie & Christina (brother and sister-in-law who live there); Sephora; abundant cheap food

CONS: going with the in-laws who aren't in to going to clubs or even gambling for that matter; in-laws will have control of the rental car; won't be hot (maybe 50s); Eddie will have gotten back surgery 5 days before I arrive so he'll be no fun; I've been to Vegas MANY times (even lived there for 3 years) - so I've already seen it all; abundant cheap food = Tina becomes a fatty fat fat

:: Salt Lake City ::

PROS - ok, it's the Olympics, that's very cool; Chucky's going too; pretty scenery; maybe sunny; free abundant food at the hotel; potential celebrity sightings (though sports celebrities don't excite me)

CONS - will be working the whole time; will spend at least 2 hours/day travelling from Park City to Salt Lake; it's going to be COLD; I probably won't get to see even a single event; going snowboarding seems out of the question; most of my time will be spent many miles away from the free abundant food; and even if I DO happen to see Ben Affleck chatting with Tara Lipinski, I'll be a dweeb bundled up in Kodak clothing

:: Orlando ::

PROS: warm and sunny (maybe)

CONS: conference the whole time; there alone; don't think I'll have a car so stuck in the vicinity of hotel; no time to go to Disney or SeaWorld but can't afford it anyway


OK, not saying I'd trade it (though I would pass up Orlando if it wasn't going so applicable to my current project and potentially career enhancing), but it's certainly not all wine and roses.

I suppose on some level I'm being granted these opportunities for "fun" because in April, the fun level drops significantly when I have to have an incision into my uterus via my bellybutton. Aaagh!

Box of Snakes

Funny story. As Sophia, Daniela, Chuck and I were leaving the beach house (in Brasil), Daniela's Mom (Charlotte) handed Chuck a box and said, "Here's a box of snakes for your trip." Chuck was taken aback, wondering if there was a little know Brasilian custom to travel with snakes for good luck. He hesitated to take the box... Charlotte saw the look on his face and said, "snacks! I meant a box of snacks!" Chuck was relieved, took the box, and we munched on snakes for the 3 hour ride to the city.

It's finally a bit bright out today, not the dismal grey it had been since we got back from Brasil. Luckily I can still envision my feet in the sand and the sound of the water lapping at my heels.

So since this is the Daily Bite, it's really only appropriate to pay homage to some of the yummy foods we had in Brasil:

Mandioca Fritas, fried yucca root
Alot like french fries but better, because yucca root is a bit stringier and each little stringy piece gets fried to a golden, crunchy crisp.
Mmmm. This was my personal favorite, so I tried to find yucca root at Weggies, with no luck as of yet.

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Brigadeiros (chocolatey, fudgey, and very sweet)... mmm...

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Bolo de Rolo (Jellyroll with guava)... we had a homemade version, with very thin layers rolled tightly. We nicknamed it "the arm", because to carry the cake all wrapped up in foil was like carrying an arm around... long and heavy. It was very tasty.

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PÃO DE QUEIJO (cheese breads)... something about these little balls was irresistable, at the beach house they made them fresh and I think I ate about 15 of them.

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Dammit, now I'm hungry and craving cheese breads!

Oi! Como vai voce?

We're back from Brasil. It was great! Daniela's family was incredibly hospitable and fun. Almost too much to talk about, so I'll condense things...

After the maniacle drive from the airport (think passing on a double yellow on curvy single lane roads), the first week was spent at the beach. Remarkable scenery - lush, tropical mountains set against a white sand beach with rolling blue waves. I don't think there is any place in the US other than Hawaii as lush as Brasil. We walked the beach (2+ miles) almost every day. New Year's Eve was incredible. We all wore new white clothes and after a fabulous dinner put on by Daniela's family, we all walked down to the beach. At midnight, everyone kissed each other on the cheek and wished each other Feliz Ano-novo, then we drank champagne, waded into the water a bit, made a wish and jumped 7 waves. Then we backed out of the water. There was a slight mishap with the fireworks, what was supposed to be a half hour show turned into a 3 minute explosion (the first one fell into the others and all went off at once), but other than that, the evening was incredible.

After the beach, we went to Sao Paulo for a day, then off to the country house for the weekend. The country house was beautiful, they grow abacaxi (pineapple), bananas, sugar cane and many other exotic things. Hopefully I'll have some great pix eventually.

The last few days were spent in the city, which is a sight to see! Getting to the city was an incredible experience. The roads wind up through the foliage covered mountains and you wonder how the hell they built these roads into the mountains. Then you begin to see the city... soon your entire view is high rises - as far as the eye can see. Like NYC, Chicago, and LA combined! In the city we relaxed, played Buraco (a Brazilian card game similar to Gin) and did a little sightseeing and shopping.

Overall, an incredible experience and wonderful vacation! I'll add more detailed accounts later, hopefully with pictures...