Watched the Mtv Video Music Awards last night - as I have for the last 20 years. So contrived, but I'm a sucker for these things. I love to see the fashion -or lack of it. Seriously, Missy Elliot's stylist should be tarred and feathered - what the hell was that not-so Ghetto Fabulous Golf outfit she was wearing????

Mo Rocca was just on tv talking about Johnny Cash not winning more VMAs. He said, "alot of the kids don't know who Johhny Cash is. They think it's slang for hooker money."

BAH HAH HAH.

Oh, and incase you missed it, Madonna kissed Britney and Christina. Shocker [said with dripping sarcasm].

Currently, I am finding Mo Rocca to be hilarious... He's on a new show on CourtTV called The Smoking Gun, a satire of law and forensics. And, of course, I love The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, where he got his start. I tried to win the couch, alas, to no avail. I don't win things in contests.

I don't think I explained my last post thoroughly. The second pic shows the model without her hair styled, thus the reason it doesn't look good. To see her with it styled, go to the Loreal Professional site.

I thought it sounded good because, though I can use products (yes, I use Pantene Pro-V), a blowdryer, and a flatiron to get my hair straight and smooth... this would make that process go ALOT faster... and let me sleep longer, and probably protect me from turning back into a frizzhead at the slightest sign of rain or humidity.

But I'm not suggesting to take these things lightly (if you're obsessed with hair like me)... you should do research, hear real first-hand accounts, find an experienced stylist before deciding to do them. After all, this is OUR HAIR, it's with us all day, every day. It's not the same as deciding to try the new Mod fashion trend, deciding you look silly, and returning the white go-go boots a week later.

X-tenso to the Rescue

In my ever present quest to have straighter, less frizzy hair, I found the latest and greatest hair technology, X-tenso. It is a "long lasting smoothing process" that "allows you to style hair more easily and quickly, reduce volume and relax the curls, have a healthier, more supple texture, increase shine and have long lasting smoothness."

Dull, frizzy hair? Have no fear, X-tenso is here!

Timesaver - yes! Suppleness - yes! Smoothness - yes! Shine - jackpot! Sign me up!

... alas, they don't do it in the US yet as far as I can tell... but with Toronto nearby, I may yet save my hair's soul.

Before and After-but-before-styling...



To see the final, straight, smooth hair, go to the Loreal Professional site

Flash Mobs

So apparently, these mobs are all the rage. A bunch of poeple get an e-mail and are asked to go to a specific place, at a specific time, and they get instructions on what to do. Sounds pretty interesting, right? Now here's the not-so-appealing part... the "mob" has to do something silly, such as pretend to worship the giant Dinosaur in the Times Square Toys 'R Us. Then dispurse.

I'm not sure if it's a true global social phenomenon or just a bunch of techie geeks trying to be cool (not that there's anything wrong with that). Either way, there's no way in hell am I going to stand in a mall and act like a robot. I can look like a big enough dweeb all on my own, thanks.

Check out Cheesebikini for more in depth info.

Guster sent a newsletter that said, among other things...

"Those of you with well-endowed cable packages should watch for some upcoming appearances on MTV2... we're taping our first-ever guest VJ segment for them this weekend -- to air, sometime... "

Hmmm, I will never think of my cable quite the same way again.

BLACKout 2003

I love how the news goes over the top with everything these days. How, within hours (probably with some poor soul running his MAC on a generator), they can still come up with a title font and catchy event name to create drama. **Duhn, duhn, duhn** BLACKOUT 2003.

We lost power for about 4 hours. I was in a panic... "save the eggs, I have to have my scrambled eggs in the morning!!! Cook up the chicken and the sausages and the bacon... eat the ice cream, for the love of God - EAT THE ICE CREAM!!!"... all this as hubby sat there all relaxed, reading his golf magazine... He finally got up and gathered flashlights... comes in from the garage and says, "here, you can wear this" as he hands me a miner's headlamp from his hunting gear...

He was only slightly smug when the lights popped back on at 8:45, "see, I told you everything would be fine."

Duh

I don't know if it's the heat or what, but lately Jenny and I have been prone to saying stooopid things. Here are some examples:

Jenny [to the lunch crowd], "I need to go home tonight and lawn the mow..."

Me [to Jenny] "oooh, that meat is going to turn ranchid" (meant to say either raunchy or rancid)

Jenny [to a coworker/client from Atlanta], "It was good to see you, sorry you didn't recognize me"

Me [to crowd at coworker's going away party], "and once, when Jack first started at Kodak.com, Cindy was eating a melon and she cut it, and it flew into his lap *heh, heh* and um, Jack, what did you say????" [Jack, put on the spot, looks at me blankly]... so I retort, "well, aahhhh, yeah, it was really funny."

DUH!

... So in my attempt to push Jenny's buttons this afternoon, after sending a note to aforementioned coworker/client in Atlanta, I say to Jenny, "hey, sorry you didn't recognize me"

To which she replies, "yeah, and then the melon flew in to his lap..."

Touche Costco! (Family Guy reference) Maybe stupidity is contagious. In which case, Jenny and I are pulling each other into a swirling vortex of idiocy. Woohoo!

Cow says.... eet more chikun... and that's what Jenny and I have been doing. We are addicted to Sesame Chicken at The King and I - a local Thai restaurant. We've gone there about 6x in the past few weeks... they're starting to recognize us... pretty soon, we'll be walking in the door and they will say, "aaaah, Jenny and Tina, you're Sesame Chicken is waiting for you"... and along with eating the best meal on earth, we will have immediate gratification and satisfaction. mmmmmmm....

Dammit, I should be asleep... instead, I am WIDE awake. Seriously, I think the Thai coffee I had at lunch had crack in it.

Spotting Celebs

I want to clarify some things about my hobby of trying to spot celebs... it seems that with the way I talk about it, one would tend to think I'm a crazy autograph-picture-oh-my-God-I-love-you hound... my brother and Joel, in particular, eluded to this... but then I realized... they don't know how I act when I see them because they never see me seeing them, especially since I very rarely actually see them.

Sooo... the reality is... I do not make a scene, in fact the opposite - I make a conscious effort not to appear to even notice them. I don't stare, I don't talk to them (unless the natural situation would call for it as with any person), I don't ask for their autograph, I don't ask to take a picture... I just think it's cool to SEE them in an everyday setting.

Granted, I did get my picture with Steve Young, but that was only after Tom (the photographer) ignored my plea NOT to ask for a picture (not that I'm upset... I LOVE this picture =)

Jury Duty Free for Four Years

So now I know why people hate Jury Duty. You have to park downtown, which sucks and costs $$ that you don't get reimbursed for and then you have to walk by vagrants and beggars hoping you don't get mugged... and THEN, once you make it into the court building safely, you are confronted with vagrants and beggars who have already been arrested and are on trial and are staring you down as you walk around with your little "be nice to me, I'm a juror who will determine your fate" sticker. And you'd better hope I've had my morning coffee, or your ass is grass.

But no one had to incur my wrath, alas, I didn't get picked for a jury. And the coffee was pretty damn good.

Confident Metrosexual

Jenny and I have been throwing around the term Metrosexual. We have a couple friends who are borderline (Bi-metro?). Reactions are interesting... from acknowledgement to pride to "no way, that's for sissies". Here's the bottom line guys... if you think that all it would take is a facial and a pedicure to make you gay, you may be teetering on the brink already.

Be confident in your manhood already and get those pores cleaned up!

Tina's Tip of the Day

Jersey Duty

I have to report for Jury Duty tomorrow. I was talking with my Gram last night... told her I had J.D. coming up... chatted some more... was saying bye and she said, "Have fun in Jersey." Classic. We both had a good laugh after I explained.

Unlike others, who groan, "uughhh, Jury Duty"... I kind of look forward to it. Then again, the last case I was on was a civil case. Not sure I'd want to be on a criminal case where, after the trial, the criminal you just convicted can hop on the elevator with you (that actually almost happened to hubby - the criminal's lawyer stopped the guy)... besides, got things going on this week... and I don't know if I can be fair, after all, I'm an angry little gumball* these days.



*Jenny and I saw this ad in a mag... we are both, in fact, at various points in the day, angry little gumballs.

I've taken note and predicted the rise of popularity in men's grooming products and services. Well now there's an official term for straight men who are in to primping and pampering (ie, facials, manicures, pedicures, hair product, skin care... all that stuff we ladies have been entrenched in for years).

They're now called "Metrosexuals". My hubby's one, he takes good care of himself.

The article says: Metrosexual men "are very secure in their sexuality", "They're comfortable getting a facial or a pedicure. It doesn't make them feel any less masculine or any less heterosexual."

Sooo.. for all those guys that put down grooming, me thinks ye protesteth too much.

OK, I know I love dolphins, but I don't LOVE dolphins.

Well, Bob Hope has officially died. I say "officially" because over the past couple weeks, at our lunchtime discussions, Jenny has been unsure if he was still alive or not. The rest of us thought yes, but weren't 100% sure. But now, alas, he is definitely gone.

In other news, Liza Minelli and her hubby split. Now that's a shocker (not).

While hungry... and commiserating with Jenny about the places we want to eat but shouldn't (because one meal would contain about 3 days worth of calories), I came up with an idea. One day a month we should eat just the bad stuff we've been craving yet depriving ourselves of for the sake of our asses. So I think that day would look like this:

Breakfast @ IHOP (eggs benedict, hash browns, pancakes, etc.)


Lunch @ Pellegrinos (buffalo chicken sub w/blue cheese, maybe fries)


Dinner @ Dinosaur BBQ (pulled pork, corn bread, fries, maybe a couple beers)


Snacks @ the movies (popcorn and a giant coke... I'd like some popcorn with my butter please)


and, to finish off the evening...
Dessert @ Krispy Kreme (as many piping hot glazed as the ole bellies can handle)


That would be one helluva day!

Vote for Guster!

Guster, my favorite band, is up for viewers-pick on MTV.com for their video for the song Amsterdam (you can listen to it on their website) - please help vote it into on-air rotation. Pleeeaaassseeee.

http://www.mtv.com/music/viewers_pick/

Oh, and vote for them here too:
Fuse's Oven Fresh: http://www.fuse.tv/ (click "quality tv shows" then "oven fresh")

Got a facial last night at Waterlilly... it was 90 minutes of heaven. They're supposed to be an hour, but I think the new aesthetician wanted to make a good impression... and that she did!

And for a glimpse into my demented psyche (which I am STRONGLY in need of Therapy for - according to the quiz on Psychologytoday.com)... here's a general summary of my thoughts as I lay there in the quiet room, eyes closed, listening to Enya-ish music and getting lotion upon lotion applied and wiped off...

aaah, warm... bright light, bright light!... skin inspection... time to hear my flaws... what? I have hyperpigmentation? But I've been wearing sunscreen daily for over 15 years... must stay out of the evil sun... ugh, reprimanded for picking at my face... wonder when she's going to pick at my face... aaah, darkness, soothing steam mist... aaagghh, bright light! bright light!!... the picking begins... this is satisfying... no, don't stop picking, there must be more clogged pores! aaah, darkness again, soothing cream, smells good... oh yeah, here comes the back massage... rub my knot, rub my knot... ooh, she found it, yep, grind that knot out... harder... oh, knots in my left shoulder too - she's goood... wow, that was great... oooh, that sounds like mousse being dispensed... ooh, it feels cool on my face... I must look ridiculous but I don't care... I could lay here forever... where is she going? why is she pulling the sheet away from my feet? Oh my God, my feet probably smell horrible! And I probably still have ugly sock rings! OH MY GOD, I haven't shaved my legs in 3 days! Ah, but that foot massage feels so good... please don't be done, please don't be done... she's done... I'm glowing... that was incredible!

Animal Factoids

We had our group picnic at the Seneca Park Zoo today. I was a docent (educational volunteer) at that zoo from about 1993 to 1998... It was alot of training, I had to learn about EVERY animal at the zoo and be able to spew factoids without a cheat sheet.

I also got to handle a few animals - hedgehogs, Rommel - a Fennec Fox, Daisy - an albino (yellow) Python, Shelly - a tortoise... along with other birds, mammals, and bugs. I hated the bugs - sorry, but I'll take a pass on letting a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach hang out on my shirt like a "roach broach" (another zoo-nerd docent I worked with used to do that!). As a matter of fact, I'm so skeeved by them, I can't even post a picture! UGH!

Sooo, though it's been over 5 years, I was just itching to share some of my useless animal knowledge with anyone who would listen..

"Did you know that snakes cannot hear your screams of terror, they are deaf"

"Do you know how to tell a seal from a sea lion? Sea lions have external ear flaps and articulating hips, which allow them to 'walk' on all fours, seals cannot and thus 'blob' along" (ok, I couldn't remember the technical term for how seals move)

"Did you know that Reindeer are the only deer where both the males AND the females get antlers?"

"Do you know the difference between an antler and a horn? An antler is made of bone and antlers are shed and regrown each year. Horns are permanent and are made of keratin - which is the same material as your fingernails!"

"Well actually, Polar Bears are great swimmers and have been spotted in the open ocean miles away from the nearest piece of land."

AAAHHH, it feels good to say it all again!

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Five gay men makeover a straight man and his home. They each have different specialties: fashion, food & wine, grooming, interior design and culture. Watched two episodes in a row last night. SHEER GENIUS! It's Changing Rooms, What Not to Wear, Fashion Emergency, Will and Grace and Queer as Folk rolled up in to one. Funny, entertaining, suspenseful, practical... I LOVE IT!

OK, so I really only ate a can of asparagus, a piece of chicken and some cheese... but writing it all down felt good. I did have a chocolate chip cookie for breakfast this morning though.

I am so on the verge of plummetting off the wagon. We're talking going to Pellegrinos and getting a large Buffalo Chicken sub and eating the whole thing while washing it down with a giant NON-DIET Pepsi, then swinging by Krispy Kreme and getting a dozen glazed for dessert, followed by running in to *bux for a Venti Mocha Frappucino to perk me up... maybe waiting an hour or two, then polishing off the three packages of peeps that have been hibernating in my freezer for months. I'd slip some chocolate in there too, perhaps a Heath bar or a Clark bar or a Butterfinger or a Zagnut. I might also take the time to whip up a batch of brownies, cook half the batter, eat the other half raw (salmonella be damned), then gobble down the cooked ones. I'm sure I'd also have to make some vanilla cake batter and eat it up like pudding. Then I'd sleep for three days, wake up and think I was dreaming, but the cake-batter encrusted drool on my chin would let me know that it was all real.

Dead Like Me

I'm really digging this new show Dead Like Me on Showtime. It's about an 18 yr old girl who dies and becomes a Grim Reaper - her job is to take souls from people at their 'appointment with death'. It's different, interesting.

It gets my imagination going... lets me think that maybe my Mom is "working" in the afterlife and somehow interacting with the living. I picture her in charge of providing "warm fuzzies"... like how I feel when I drink a good cup of coffee or drink a Jamba. Some tiny bit of comfort. A moment of escape. Some small healing. Barely noticeable, yet critical to my survival. I can see Mom loving that job - she had years of practice making the little things count.

Bittersweet Birthday

My niece Mya's first birthday has been bittersweet. I'm so happy she's here in this world, healthy and doing well... but I'm so sad that my Mom isn't here to see her first Grandchild grow. When Mom last saw Mya, she was a scrawny little 2 month old baby, barely 5 pounds, barely cute - and now she is this gorgeous little cherub you just want to cuddle and kiss.

My Mom truly would have been the best Grandmother, hands down - just as she was the best Mother.

I used to be so much funnier in my blogs. Harsh reality: I've lost my wit. I was looking back to the beginning and found this gem. Is it horrible to replay a blog? Isn't it like watching Seinfeld reruns... you probably already saw it, but it's still funny? Anyway, here's a really long one I posted back in September 2000:

Food Fantasies
Joel insisted I rename my blog something to do with food because everything I write relates to food somehow. It's true, I am obsessed with food. It's not so much that the actual eating is out of control, it's more the thoughts of the food. The food fantasies, if you will.

I can't stop thinking about food. When do I get to eat again? What will I eat next? Is it lunchtime yet? Don't I have brie in the fridge at home? Ooooh, must drive home fast! What festivals are coming up so I can get Kettle Korn? Do I hear the Dinosaur BBQ calling my name? If I don't eat a marshmallow peep soon, I think I'll die. These types of thoughts are constantly floating around in my head at any given moment. Maybe that's why I like to sleep so much, it's the only time I can escape the food fantasies.

I really should weigh alot more than I do. Luckily, I manage to temper the internal monster and actually control my eating habits pretty well, maybe because I spend so much time thinking about it, I don't actually need to eat so much. But if people really knew what was going on in the head of this skinny* little girl, they'd be shocked.

To be honest, I'm a bit worried. A Krispy Kreme donut shop is opening here in Rochester in December. I keep hearing raves about how good Krispee Kremes are, the fantasies have started... Jenny and I are planning a party for the day they open. I fear that I will become weak and succomb... I can see myself now... A cold december day... "hmmm, I really should take 390 instead of 590 to work today, I think traffic will be better. Oh geez, look at that, I think I need some gas, I'll just get off at Jefferson Road and filler up. Ooohhhh, lookee here, I just happened to go to the Mobil right next to Krispy Kreme. I bet everyone at work would be thrilled to have me bring in some donuts. OK, I'll take 3 dozen." arriving at work... "Hey everyone, I brought in a dozen Krispee Kremes so if you want one, hurry up and grab one." My thighs are scared too. I equate my thighs to the big ball of evil in the movie "The 5th Element"... EVIL BEGETS EVIL. The Krispee Kremes attack! My thighs grow, threatening the safety of all around them! Be afraid. Be very afraid.

*I don't really consider myself skinny, but it sounded right for the story.

I watched this show Hopelessly Rich last night on VH1... a bunch of filthy rich kids living off their parents $$...

Bottom line: rich men become womanizers, rich women become shopaholics.

When the lottery was up to $180 Million, I was hoping to join the ranks (since I already have the shopaholic part down).

Jenny always says she wouldn't want to win a huge lottery jackpot... she says the money would change things too much... I reassure her that I will help her spend it and help keep things real... but she's still concerned...

But for those of us who wouldn't mind a bit, MSN posted some pointers with this article:

You've won the lottery! Now what?

Mya turned ONE today!!

Went to Ottawa on Saturday, didn't get "the purse". Decided it was not worth the $$, the pockets were too hard to get in and out of and the main section buckled closed (ie, picture me taking 10 minutes to get my purse open to pull out my license and registration to show to the nice police officer, then getting accused of dwi because I'm fumbling with my purse)

Did get some good stuff - all on sale - cute FCUK pants, some Club Monaco t's and eye shadow and this Guess skirt for only $25 canadian!

At the in-laws this weekend, I was shocked to realize that QVC is quite "hip" to cool products. When my mother-in-law flipped to it the other night (as she often does), they were selling Smashbox cosmetics. I was ready to dial up and spend a good chunk of change on all the goodies... but I didn't.

Later I went to qvc.com and surprisingly they offer a few of the high end beauty product lines - Philosophy, L'Occitane, Caudalie... not sure if they're deals, but some good stuff there.

Let me elaborate on the BET Awards I attended last week in LA. Got offered $500 box tickets - couldn't pass up. Ran out and bought an elegant awards-show dress, new shoes, new purse (woohoo, an excuse to shop)... only to realize, upon seeing the crowds, that I could have worn my underwear and a cut up shower curtain and looked more approriately dressed.

Seriously though, it was an interesting mix, many people dressed up and elegant, many looking ready to hit the clubs, and many of the young guys looking ready to break into a basketball game at any moment.

But though I felt uber white and slightly out of place, it was a great show.

My favorite part happened off camera - they played the beginning line of Nelly's "It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes". When the music stopped, all the female fans kept singing the next line, "I am getting so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off." It was a great moment. (Note: no one actually took off their clothes)

Ever notice that most all the items women tend to covet and buy lots of - clothes, shoes, cosmetics - get noticed by men in some way or another... but the one thing women LOVE to buy, spend alot on, have many styles of - purses - men don't even give a second glance to? But other women are drawn to them like a bee to pollen. "Oooh, I love your handbag, where did you get it?" Interesting.

And I shopped and I shopped and I shopped

OK, let's get back to the more frivolous stuff. Went shopping while in
LA/LV (shocking!)... got some good stuff:

At Sephora

Cellex-C Under-Eye Toning Gel
Not sure if it works, but if feels nice and tingly


Frederic Fekkai Glossing Cream
Love this stuff, works good on wet or dry hair.
--------------------

At Steve Madden Shoes

These very tall Lain sandals
4" platforms but still comfy.


And these funky Stash sneaks/sandals in Pink from Steve Madden
Nice height on these too, mostly comfy.
--------------------

At Lucky Jeans

They were having a great sale - 50% off

Linen pants - very comfy!

Trip was great until the fight with my brother. Combo of hurt feelings and hormones. Rare occurrence - my Scorpio-ness came out. Relieved to be home.

God Help Me

On another note, it's nearly 3am west coast time and I'm still up! I am going to be sooooo tired next week!

Vegas Baby

Let me start by saying, I'm not a brave gambler. I get nervous about losing money and I get nervous approaching the tables..

Well, at the Hard Rock Hotel tonight, after playing the nickel slots for ~2 hours for minimal cash and drinking four small tequila sunrises (which I'm positive had nearly nill alcohol in them), I got brave and played Blackjack. It was $10 minimum, which is too rich for my blood, but I said screw it - I wanted to play a couple hands... won some, lost some... got out of there down $35 (left with $30 in chips). Slightly stressful, but fun. Didn't lose enough to cause an ulcer, but couldn't help but think, "that $ would have bought me a nice pair of shoes" (even though I had already bought two pairs of shoes today).

Tomorrow we're going to play the $2 tables at the Suncoast - that's more my speed. Maybe I'll go crazy and play some craps too.

I laugh that most people visiting Vegas lose more in 5 minutes than I lose in 3 days, but it doesn't stop me from stressin.

Star Spotting

Seriously, this is becoming a joke. I am the queen of spotting C-list celebs and that's about it. Granted, I got to go to the BET Awards and spotted alot of A-list hip hop stars down in the audience and onstage (such as P. Diddy, 50 Cent, Beyonce, and - best of all - Michael Jackson), but I don't consider that the same as a proximity encounter (ex: seeing them at Starbucks)... so on that note, here's who I saw:


- Adam Corolla (The Man Show) walked by me in the lobby of Trizec


- Jamie Lynn Spears (Britney's little sis) was at the next table at The Pig 'n Whistle


- Pauly Shore walked by me at the Vegas airport

Purse Saga

So my purse was supposed to arrive by thursday. Nothing. On Friday, on the way to Ikea, I get a call from Kamal (my devoted Holt Renfrew employee), alas, my bag could not be sent for the $5 shipping he had quoted me... may cost $20 and definitely won't arrive in time for my trip... bummed, but ok, will have it for summer... Monday in LA, I get another message from Kamal - apparently the shipping is only cheap at Christmas (due to volume) and it would cost $50-$70 to ship. UUUUUUGGGHH! I cancel the order and give up on my purse. Start to sink into depression... then realize that hubby and I will be within 2 hours of Ottawa next week, we can drive to Holt Renfrew! Call back Kamal and ask him to hold it. He says he will... and will let his manager know - because it's his last day and he regrets that he will not be able to meet me.

Now I can only HOPE that I don't get there only to hear, "aah, we thought you weren't coming so we JUST sold it" and I fall in to a pool of tears in the middle of Holt Renfrew (US equivalent is likely Saks)

In searching for a pic of the pink & black purse I bought, I found other good stuff.

Like this site for replica purses (for those of us who are not filthy-stinkin-rich yet) - replicawholesale.com...

And this cool is this new Kate Spade purse??!! If I win MegaLotto, I'll buy it!

So I'm a traveling fool... off to LA again on Sunday (for work), then to Vegas for a short, side-trip to visit my brother. The BET Awards will be on while I'm in LA - right at the Kodak Theatre where we're installing kiosks - could be potential to see some big stars (Halle, Denzel, Magic, Beyonce... maybe they'll play with our kiosk... that would be very cool)... though with my luck in that area, I'll probably only see Gary Coleman.

My brother is going to move to LA soon to pursue his acting career. Can't wait to ride on his coat-tails! Then again, the NY Megalotto is $175 MILLION dollars, so maybe I won't have to wait. How SWEET would that be?

I'd be very generous to my family and friends and my favorite charitable causes, of course, but there'd be some reserved for frivolous stuff... having Jamba flown in*, hiring a cook, getting a kitten, but hiring a maid to clean DAILY so my sister could still visit and not have an allergy attack, fly to NY every wednesday just to eat Pomme Frittes (Jenny - I think we could work those calories off with our [price-is-right-come-on-down voice] NEW PERSONAL TRAINER, BOB)

*Jenny and I already discussed the best way to do this - put the smoothies in an insulated cooler, slap on a "LIVE ORGAN" sticker, and go thru the airport screaming "Let me through, a life is in the balance here!"

A girl can dream.

Jenny and I went to see the Peeps Fun Bus yesterday. Jenny is very into [fillintheblank]mobiles. Joel dissed the Peep Fun Bus and now he is on Jenny's S-list. They are having a very "energetic" discussion about the various mobiles as I type. Joel says the Peeps Fun Bus is lame because it's not shaped like one big peep, it's just a but with a giant peep sitting atop - apparently not enough to impress Joel. After all, the Weinermobile IS a giant weiner, the Spammobile IS a giant can of spam... and so on. I love my friends.

My life:
- working
- working out with Jenny
- eating less carbs
- drinking Myoplex Lite Chocolate Cream shakes - yummy if blended with ice and skim milk (yummy to me anyway)
- NOT losing weight - ugh
- listening to Guster's new songs on their website
- getting ready to see Guster in concert on the 21st
- getting ready to go back to LA, have Jamba, go to Vegas for a couple days, see my bro and meet his new Doberman, Buddy

Oooh, I ordered the purse. It's a cargo purse, pink with black trim. Oooh, oooh, oooh, I can't wait for it to arrive! I ordered it from Ottawa after calling four other Holt Renfrews. I hope it gets here before I leave for LA again on Sunday!

Oh Canada

Lately it seems that many things I want are only available in Canada.

I'm dying for a Chanel-copy pink and black purse I saw in Lucky magazine. The catch - it's only available at Holt Renfrew, a Canadian department store that does not ship to the US. UGH.

Of course, I'm always jonesing for Love Hearts - not available in the US - abundant in Canada.

And now, I need some Canadian Preparation H. Apparently the original formula - which is only available in Canada - works wonders for many things other than hemorrhoids. It is quite the nifty little beauty secret. I've read that it can be used to minimize a double chin, puffy eyes, and even cellulite! You can bet your itchy butt I'll be trying it!

Meow Meow Meow Meow

Apparently Guster (my favorite band) sends out almost finished* CDs to radio stations before their release. *The catch - the lyrics are all sung like a Meow Mix commercial. Pretty damn funny, those boys.

Visited Mom's grave today, her headstone is finally in, 8 months later... makes it feel so permanent, so painful. It seems like just yesterday she was getting chocolate stains on my new sweatshirt just after Sherri had Mya... now Mya is about to turn one!

The graves next to hers also got their stones. The woman to the right of her was only 47.

What do I learn from this? Life is too short, do what makes you happy.

I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Been busy and travelling. Here's a quick rundown of the past few weeks:

- worked out alot with Jenny, cut down on carbs, ate lots of dairy, lost a bit of weight



- saw Finding Nemo, loved it... "seamonkeys stole my money"... Duuuude, SEE IT!

- celebrated 12 years of marriage - and yes, I STILL like him and still find him to be a hottie

- got ready to go to LA....

- client had hooked us up with tickets to Jimmy Kimmel Live... so looked up guest for June 2nd.. read... George Clooney... heart palpitations, nearly fainted... pinched myself... looked again... DAMMIT JANET... it actually said George Lopez... along with others I'd never heard of... ugh! Cried myself to sleep... my luck doesn't allow me to see Seth Green and Staind.. or Kelly Osborne, or Tyra Banks and Jay Mohr... nope, I get an unknown pickpocket and a barely famous comedian.

- went to LA...

- immediately got a Banana Berry Blitz Power Smoothie at Jamba

- hiked Runyon Canyon, was a dog whore* (*term coined by Jenny and Aaron for someone who pets every dog they see)

- ate at Jones, had a potential Justin Timberlake sighting, but couldn't verify

- had successful business meetings

- went to Jimmy Kimmel Live - lame guests, fake enthusiasm required of the audience... but overall, interesting experience

- went to Universal Studios - work related - prefer Disney

- dinner with clients at Lola's - homemade mac & cheese, mmmmm

- back to gloomy Rochester

Cool Stuff

I shop online alot, though rarely actually purchase... but here's some cool stuff I found...



Discreet Cases
For your most personal item.
Every lady should have one.






Magnetic Boards - they come in pink, blue, white and black.
Real Simple showed an office wall covered in about 12 of them. But at $15 each, that would cost a pretty penny.



Damn cool 'Cookie' shoes from Turbo Cat. Who wouldn't want to buy something with the brand name "Turbo Cat"?


Oh, and I also found this site, Foodpix.net... it's totally out of date, but still an interesting browse. Who knew that really close up pictures of food could look so utterly disgusting??

Did I blog about this before? Thriftdeluxe? Losing my mind anyway...

Dollywood was interesting. The museum had many of her dresses and shoes. Honestly, I'm not sure how the woman stays upright with those gigantic boobs and tiny waist. Can't be good for the back. And let me just go on record as saying, she wears slutty shoes. Abby said Dolly was quoted as saying something like, "it's very expensive to look this cheap." Right-O.

Tomorrow - Dollywood

Tommorrow I head off to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee to present our kiosk to the Dollywood folks. My Mother-in-law was very excited to hear this and started naming off all the things I should do, "go see Louise Mandrell!" "Go to the Apple Restaurant". Frankly, you'd have to drug me and drag my lifeless body in to a Louise Mandrell concert, that's about the only way I'd go... and I'm pretty sure my Mother-in-Law should know that about me by now. She's known me for 18 years. The Apple restaurant I might be able to do.

Today - Softie Fan

No, no, I'm not craving ice cream, it's an actual fan made of foam and I want one. Pricey, but if it saves a trip to the hospital with your finger in a plastic bag filled with ice, it might just be worth it.

Yesterday - Survived

Yesterday went well. I did not crumble. I am stronger than I realize sometimes... only through the help of family and friends.

When we got to Mom's grave, the rain stopped and the sun came out and birds were chirping... yet another sign... she is at peace.

Happy Day

Today is Jenny's birthday. Happy Birthday Jenny!!

Sad Day

Mother's Day - it's finally here... it's painful. Mom is gone and Dad died on Mother's day in 1991. It's gloomy, raining with lightning & thunder... a sign, in my opinion, that it is not right that Mom is gone. She should be here. Every Mother's Day I'd ask her what she wanted - and she'd always say, "a plant". Last year I got her Lilac bushes. This year I'll plant something at her grave. Never what I'd have expected in a million years. I want her back, I want her to give me a big hug and make me feel like the most special daughter in the world.

Valium sucks. All it did was make me unable to stay conscious AFTER the procedure. Next time I want Vicodin or something that will be more interesting than unconsciousness. They really should offer nitrous oxide during these procedures, that would probably be best.

I have to have a Hysterosalpingogram today. Hurts like HELL! Luckily, I will be taking a valium to get me through it... it better help.

Wattamelon

Back on my watermelon kick. Could live off the stuff sometimes. I had a nice plate of it out for lunch today and had a couple people who normally hardly give me the time of day ask for a piece... though I nicely said, "sure", I was miffed... barely say hello one day, then ask for SOME OF MY LUNCH the next?! The nerve! Not that I wouldn't do that to (or expect it from) a friend IN A SEC. I love to eat other people's food... for some reason, it always looks yummier... unless, of course, it involves uncooked vegetables... then... no - thank - you!

Cool Journals

I saw these journals from Ex Libris Anonymous, made from old library books, in my Jane magazine. A couple pages in the front and back are printed with "obscure paragraphs, scribbles or pictures from the original text" and the rest of the pages are blank, so you can write your own story... in case it's something too juicy for your blog.

Other Cool Sites

After following link after link after link, I found some other sites to buy cool stuff...

Kissycake Totes

The Naughty Secretary Club Boutique - cool jewelry

Happy Lucky Me - get an "I -heart- [insert your fave food]" foodie t-shirt for only $21

Cut + Paste - buy vintage or consign and sell your own (though I personally am not a fan of vintage, except for my original 1980s concert t-shirts - of which I still have: Triumph, Twisted Sister, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, AC/DC and Queensryche... now if I could only find my Def Leppard British Flag shorts...)

Laura Bee Designs - get a custom photo purse for $54

evilcuppycake.com - cute strange yumpop-like stuff

Vooz - an evil conglomerate that bought the rights to Pucca?? Either way, some great downloads
.

Gengki Gang hats - find you're inner wierd child and buy a P-chan hat

...
...if you feel like doing some surfing yourself, here's a good list-o-links... I gotta get some sleep!

NYC

As you probably read on Jenny's blog, we took a quick jaunt to NYC last weekend... it was great. Some highlights of the trip Jenny didn't mention...

- the Hudson Hotel was a very nice hotel, very attractive staff, but the room was about the size of my ass on a good day... and they're pretty stingy with their toiletries... a paltry shampoo & conditioner in one and a body lotion... when I stayed at the W Chicago Lakeshore, I got LOADS of Aveda goodies - mint shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion AND mouthwash. The Hudson also had the worst lighting possible. Jenny joked to the hottie Bellhop, "so if you see us walking around with too much makeup on, you'll know why". But, because that Bellhop and others were so cute, I'd go back again! Nothing like a little eye candy to take your mind off the fact that you can rest your head against the wall in front of you while sitting down to pee in their dollhouse sized bathrooms.

- the other crazy guy Jenny didn't go into detail about was an intimidating looking guy selling belts out of a garbage bag who, in one breath said kindly, "don't be afraid of me"... and moments later procraimed loudly and scarily, "FUCK EVERYBODY". Too funny!

- we saw Yoko Ono waiting in line to see "Winged Migration"

Rochester Johns

I've seen the World's Best Bathrooms on the Travel Channel, but finally, Karen Miller has evaluated and written up info about Bathrooms that Boggle - in Rochester!

I'll have to go check some of these out, especially the one at Rain (a new nightclub here). Their ladies lounge has two-way mirrors, tables, couches, and even a window to order drinks! Cool.

Someone hung a poster for TV Turnoff Week at work. Now I think that's fine and dandy to try to get your kids off tv for a week... nobody wants a little couch potato kid who wants to stay inside on a 75 degree day to watch Rolie Polie Olie... but I'm 34 years old and I DON'T want to be told what to do. I'm old enough to decide what's right and wrong for myself... and if I want to watch Extreme Makeovers, I'm going to, dammit.

Check out this site showing pictures of foreign groceries, pretty funny.

There's some really cool stuff with excellent packaging and names, like these "Funky Soy Sauce" Pringles from Japan. OK, the Hello Kitty Douche is a bit disturbing, but most of it is cool.

Easter was good, mixed with sadness. We visited Mom's grave, which is in a beautiful location, under a tree. Sherri (sis) leaned over to place the flowers we brought and, in her new 'low rise' jeans, unknowingly showed off her plumbers crack. I'm sure Mom got a kick out of that.

I then made a huge dinner for 6 - but enough to feed 12 (like a good Italian girl)... miraculous for me, since dinner usually consists of cereal and a frozen faux ho.

Got gifties from some very special people too... from Hubby - basket of goodies, from Sis - adorable stuffed bunny and candy, from Jenny - our very own set of "cake plates", from Natalie - a very sweet card, and from Peppermint Tina - many Hello Kitty gifties, many with HK riding a dolphin (PT knows that I am a dolphin fanatic). All were a wonderful pick me up that helped me get through the day.

I think I've given up on Reality TV... I guess I just don't find it entertaining anymore... though I do still watch Real World and Road Rules and every now and then, while watching cable late at night, catch a show called Family Business.

The show is about a guy who is a porn producer and star. It's pretty funny... his Mom even works for him... The dude seriously needs a makeover... I don't care if you're a porn producer, NOBODY looks good in a pastel lame snakeskin jacket or "the wet look" hair.

Ouch

I was looking for a recipe for Chicken Madeira (like the dish I LOVE at The Cheesecake Factory) and found this website for cooking in the nude.

Sounds like a dangerous hobby to me.

Blogger is F*d at the moment.

Also, I have nothing interesting to say. My old blogs are good, might want to peruse the archives to back when I was funny.

How about this: things I'd rather be doing/places I'd rather be:

- at a beach in Australia, petting dolphins
- deep sea fishing
- learning native dancing in Fiji
- climbing a volcano in Hawaii
- shopping in Milan
- clubbing in Ibiza (maybe too old for this one)
- golfing in Scotland (one for hubby)
- getting pampered at a spa in an exotic location
- snowboarding in Park City

(Note: the only reason none of these ideas include eating is because at the moment, I feel like a stuffed pig after eating a St. Joe Panini at Cibon for lunch - turkey, mozzarella & basil on grilled flat bread - yummy!)

Went and saw Bend it Like Beckham last night with hubby and Jenny. It was a great movie, very funny... very Big-Fat-Greek-Weddingish... and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is pretty easy on the eyes for the most part... except when he was dancing, that was hard to watch.

Great music too - Basement Jaxx was in there but not on the soundtrack, bummer.

I'm normally not a sore winner, I don't usually rub things in... but when I win against someone who is SOOO confident that THEY will win (and makes that point well known), well, then I can say that - I LOVE TO WIN!! I LOVE TO WIN!! I LOVE TO WIN!!

I participated in an NCAA bracket pool at work. I don't watch sports too much, but absorb some through hubby... so I made my best guesses and, in going with my heart, picked Syracuse to go all the way and win it. The men in the pool, along with my hubby, thought I was a bit insane and did not think I had a snowball's chance of winning. My boss was particularly sure that he'd win, so we wagered lunch on it. Which makes my beating him so much SWEETER!! AAAAAHHHH SWEET VICTORY! Beat by a GIRL!! HA!!

I gave my boss a little reminder that I beat him, an air freshener with Happy Bunny on it...

Side note: I think I've gone a week without buying anything! Could explain the emotional outburst I had last night. Proves that buying stuff helps keep me sane. Retail Therapy, baby.

It seemed like a long weekend - probably because we were trapped inside all weekend. Sis was here with the baby and I actually got her (the baby) to crack up laughing. Usually she just gets a huge smile but doesn't make any noise... finally the ole 'rasberry on the belly' move put her over the top.

We did make it out for a quick trip to Starbucks on Saturday. My new favorite drink is a doozy to order... I get the non-fat, decaf, sugar-free Vanilla Latte. I want to order it with whipped creme, but that's just too much to say for a drink...

Jenny, still stuffed up from a cold, didn't have a full handle on her audio levels and blurted out, "I keep getting this gunk oozing from my eye"... just what everyone wants to hear while they're enjoying their Frappucinos. heh heh.

more Confessions of a Cosmetaddict

Broke down and bought Shiseido The Makeup Smoothing Veil SPF 16 like a good cosmetaddict. It is described as "a colorless-finish foundation that minimizes the appearance of fine lines and enhances radiance to achieve natural perfection"

Yeah, right, whatever, it's new, the packaging is cool... just fork it over lady. Give the nice addict her crack and no one will get hurt.

And Then...

My brother lives in Vegas, so we stay in touch via cellphone constantly. Lately though, he seems to call me just as he's ordering food....

Last week it went like this... I hear, "I gotta back up, she's making me go to Dairy Queen"...
moments later, "hold on a sec teen" and then I hear, "I'll have a Butterfinger Blizzard with vanilla custard"...

That's just downright cruel to do to someone you KNOW struggles to eat healthy (and I mean STRUGGLES), work out, lose weight, etc. In addition to that, he's ordering it for his wife who is about a size 2 and in such great shape, you could bounce a quarter off her butt.

I got him back though, I shouted out a (phantom) order for a Pellegrino's Buffalo Chicken sub. He can't get them in Vegas. HAH, TAKE THAT! I added in a fake In-N-Out Burger order... "I'll have a double double with cheese, fries, and a chocolate shake". He got the point, but I'm sure he'll do it again.