Gone But Not Forgotten

Ok, I've been gone since last Sunday. I'm finally back but too tired. Will post tomorrow... topics to inlcude "Debunking the California Cuisine Myth", "The Proximity Encounter Curse" and "Flying in Style"...

The Envelope Please

Jenny was surprised to find out that the Oscar nominees receive gift baskets. Oh YES, they receive quite the basket of loot... Even those who PRESENT an Oscar get a basket worth about $20K. Barely a drop in the bucket for them, but hey, I tend to want to believe that no matter how rich you are, you always love getting free gifties. Apparently, things that are "bejeweled" are preferred. Here's some of what they're getting:


A Victoria Secret Bejeweled Bra


Motorola V70 cellphone. Hey, you can win one at motorola.com


Coach custom made director chairs

Then the presenters get stuff like this:
- Ebel stainless steel watches
- Tag Heuer Sport Vision sunglasses
- Loveletters Loungewear
- Free visit for BriteSmile Whitening treatment
- Tempur-Pedic mattress (gift certificate)
- Birkenstock shoes
- Piquadro cigar and flask holder
- Frette robe
and more...

andThings

I found a really cool blog that is linking to me... all the way from the UK. andThings. I know "Suzie" is cool because she's going to Ozzfest and she posted the words to Chop Suey by System of a Down.

BTW, if you haven't seen "The Osbournes" on Mtv, you really should, it is HILARIOUS. Ozzie is very funny. Here are a couple of zingers he's thrown out:

[To his son, who he can't hear] "I've been standing next to 35000 decibels me whole life... write me a f**kin note."

[To his wife, after discussing the problem of all his dogs - 6 of them - pooping all over the house] "I'm not picking up another turd... (pause)... I'm a rock star."

[As the dog therapist, Tamara, is leaving the house] "See ya tommorra."

My Flavor

I took the flavor test on Emode... I am Pink Grapefruit. Kindof a load of crap, but here's the description:

"Mmm ... pink grapefruit! Sweet and tart at the same time, you're bursting with sun-kissed goodness. If you were a song, you'd be "It's a Sunshine Day" by the Brady Bunch — you're just that perky and refreshing. That's not to say that you don't have an edge — quite the contrary. In fact, a little bit of sugar (aka gifts, praise, and other goodies) can always bring out your naturally sweet flavor. But when it comes down to it, you prefer folks who can match you in strength and independence. Luckily, that kind of attitude is appealing, so you always have 'em wanting more. Citrusy, tangy, and a little exotic, you're a truly tasty treat. "

What's your flavor?

Pick Me Firth

I rewatched my "Bridget Jones Diary" DVD this weekend. All I can say is... Colin Firth, Colin Firth, Colin Firth. I don't think I got the full impact of how sexy he is until I watched the kissing scene at the end again... and again... and again... God I love DVDs!

World's Best Bathrooms

Ironically enough, the Travel Channel had on World's Best Bathrooms yesterday.

Number 3 on the top 5 was a world-class portable bathroom for outdoor events (essentially a converted trailer). You know, those rich and famous people certainly aren't going to do their business in a port-o-potty. These were fan-cee. They charge $3500 per event to rent. I think I see a new business in hubby's future.

They also highlighted the bathrooms at China Grille at Mandalay Bay in Vegas. Dammit, wish I'da seen that before I went.

How Many Bites does it take to Barf

I want to barf. I just ate about 15 midgee tootsie rolls. Joel and Jenny decided that the serving size of most candy is determined by how much you can eat before you feel nauseous. Pondering that thought, I've took a guesstimate at how much I can eat of some of my favorite treats before wanting to hurl:

3 Circus Peanuts
5 Peeps (frozen)
3 Peeps (not frozen)
27 Banana Laffy Taffy
10 Large Robins Eggs
3 Handfuls of Candy Corn
3 Krispy Kreme Donuts
8 Strands of Licorice
999 Love Hearts

Restroom Rant

In all this travelling I'm doing, I've had to frequent alot of public toilets. Many annoying/upsetting things have happened, here are some:

Those toilet seat cover things rip into 3 pieces before you can even TRY to place it on the seat, then it falls into the water just as you're sitting down. Whoever invented them should give back any profit they've made and be forced to live in an old refrigerator box.

The automatic toilet flushes while your still sitting on the f**ing toilet

The plastic t.p. holder pops open and bonks you on the head.

The tp holder is so tight, as soon as you pull one square, it rips... so you have to rip off enough one square at a time for a decent wipe.

I'm the only person in the bathroom, in about the middle of a row of at least 10 stalls, with 10 empty stalls on the other side... I hear footsteps, then a women enters the stall DIRECTLY NEXT to mine!! How insane is that? Nineteen other stalls to choose from and she's gotta be RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Get the *F* away from me!

The only decent public restroom I've been in is at the Chicago airport. Lots of nice features. For one, you gotta LOVE the plastic covered toilet seat that automatically advances to present a clean portion of plastic. They also have larger doors for better privacy, they have sensors on everything so you don't have to touch stuff and they mist in a lemony scented spray to keep things smelling nice. I'm also convinced that they pipe in white noise so you CAN'T hear a pin drop (among with some more unpleasant noises) like most public bathrooms. The head of facilities at Ohare should win a Nobel Peace Prize. Why hasn't the rest of the world caught up yet?

Learn more about the History of Public Toilets. And if you're really brave, visit the Poop Page. Be sure to check out The Poopie List. ** Warning: Gross Potty Humor **

Finally Home

Well, I'm finally home again. I have been gone about 6 weeks out of the first 9 weeks of the year. Mostly good, but not all that great. The best part of leaving town is going to cities that have stuff we don't have. Like Jamba Juices, Cold Stone Creameries, Sephoras, Skinmarkets and In-N-Out Burgers. Yes folks, I'm all about food and beauty products. So I'm chubby but I smell nice.

Good Stuff

As I'd previously mentioned, I was very much looking forward to shopping at Sephora and Skinmarket while in Las Vegas. I spent an hour at Sephora and only bought one little eyeshadow, but I went buggy at Skinmarket. Here's what I got (in addition to a few gifty items):


At Sephora, I bought a Vincent Longo eyeshadow because they were cute. The one with the dark plum outside and the pinkish purple flower.


Then I got all these goodies at Skinmarket:


Love is: smooth, Pomegranate Sugar Scrub
-- haven't tried it yet but if it's like the Orange Vanilla Brown Sugar Body Scrub, it will be luscious --





tancho tique
hair control stick
from Japan
-- cool pkg, nothing special though --



brown sugar
fragrance spray
orange vanilla scented
-- mmmmmmm, I smell yummy! --






double dates
lip and cheek glaze
-- good color, has a built in mirror, very portable --



deactivator
anti-acne spot treatment
-- smells very nice, not sure it works --

I'm Off Again

Only back for 4 days and now I'm off to Orlando for a conference. I was slightly enthused because I thought it was going to be warm there, then I saw that though it's supposed to be 83 on Sunday, on Monday it drops to 59. Shit.

And I don't think there's a Jamba Juice in Orlando. Shit.

Lucky You

I've come to accept the fact that I am not a lucky person. I am fortunate... I have a very good life and good things happen to me... just not things that require luck. So, I've come to realize that I will never win any significant amount of money gambling (ie, anything over $50). I will never get bumped up to first class, therefore, I will never find myself sitting next to Benjamin Bratt on a plane discussing the effectiveness of Hooked on Phonics. I will never get picked to kiss Shamu at Seaworld. I will never be shopping in a boutique on Melrose and see Winona Ryder shoplift a Paul Frank Julius watch. I will never win the lottery. I will never get let off on a speeding ticket (well, I'm still holding out hope for this, especially if I have Grandma's Pizzelle's in the car with me to use as bribery). I will never win an Mtv contest to have Bon Jovi come and play a concert in my backyard for 200 of my closest friends (for that matter, I'll never have 200 close friends). I will never get invited to a People Magazine after-Oscars-party to mingle with Jack Nicholson and Nick Cage and I will never get picked to "come on down" on The Price is Right.

I'm Baack

I'm back from my vacation in Las Vegas and work trip to the Olympics. I am tired, have a cold, and generally feel like a loser (thanks mainly to the video poker slots in Vegas). But all in all, it was a good trip. Jenny and Aaron did a stellar job taking care of Grizzy and Punky. Apparently Grizzy got vacuumed every day (he LOVES it) but, alas, he won't get the same treatment at home. But that's what grandparents are for, spoiling. Heh, heh.

The highlight of my trip? Yes, believe it or not, a small bit of luck. Hubby spotted Steve Young walking behind us on the street in Salt Lake City. I got my picture with him (thanks to my coworker Tom who insisted on asking), and chatted with him for a few moments. I think he might have thought I was about 12 years old, but hey, whatever works. As he called to his wife and walked off, I considered calling to him, "hey, need another wife?" but in light of the fact that his current wife is ten times better looking than me, I quickly realized that I would be the ugly, cookin' & cleanin' wife, so I scratched that idea.

Jamba Justice

I emailed Jamba Juice today... here's what I said:

"The family vacation was planned. We were going to Las Vegas. I'd been there many times and even lived there for a while, so my excitement was absent. That was UNTIL I checked the Jamba Juice website (I am a Jamba addict who lives in a city FAR from any locations) and saw that there were a few in Vegas.

Thrill set in and I couldn't wait to get off the plane and have my first Orange-a-Peel in 7 months.

Shortly after arriving, I checked the phone book and called. Disconnected. Panic set in. Then, after calling directory assistance, my worst fears are realized... my hopes dashed... they've all been closed.

I can forgive you for closing the stores, I assume business was not up to par (which is beyond my comprehension), but I cannot forgive you for not updating your web site. It is unforgivable and I am still recovering from the wounds.

Please make every effort to keep your web site up to date so no one else has to suffer like me.

And to add insult to injury, I left Las Vegas for Park City, Utah... again with hopes up to visit the Jamba Juice I had frequented every day of my one week visit last year, only to find the sign gone and the windows papered over.

I did finally find salvation on 400 Street in Salt Lake City, but it's been a long hard road.

Sincerely,
an addict who wished you'd open a store in Rochester, NY"

They better send me a case of Jamba Juice in a little cooler like the one Jenny got from Dean & Deluca.

I'm ALIVE

FINALLY, internet access! I've been lost. Anyhoo, quick quick update. Done with Vegas, could have done without Vegas. Very much enjoyed visiting my brother though. Ate at waaay too many buffets. We're not talking normal buffets where you have a few items to choose from... we're talking buffets where you leave your wagon at the door only to have it hijacked by circus performers and not returned for weeks. Choices of food from every type... American, Mexican, Italian, Chinese, BBQ, shakes, and the dessert selections, they're enough to send a diabetic into shock just LOOKING at them.

Anyhoo, I'm fatter and now in Salt Lake. Trying to get all my credentials straightened out as I am currently a peon's peon.

I'm hoping that Grizzy and Punky are not driving Jenny and Aaron insane.

Gotta go.

Hip Hotels + Cool Toiletries = Frustration

Ok, I'm up late. Can't sleep. Mind racing. Looking up hotel rates for Vegas and LA as the timeshare ends on the 16th but we're in Vegas til the 18th. Most likely will stay with my brother, but it's tempting to see about staying at The Hard Rock Hotel, The Venetian, The Palms, The Bellagio... along with fantasies of driving to LA and staying at one of the many hip hotels with cool, contemporary design (even 5 star hotels in Vegas have cheesy decor)... hotels like The Mondrian... I've stayed there once before, it is the epitomy of high design, but unfortunately, it costs big bucks to be hip... or Maison 140 in Beverly Hills which offers Philosophy toiletries and is actually reasonably priced... or it's sister hotel, The Avalon, which has a special Avalon Chillout Package for $199 per night where you get the Chillout Session cd from Ministry of Sound, a bottle champagne and a 50 minute massage in your room. May not be able to pass that one up...

** rant ** I want to be able to look up hotels by what toiletries they offer or by what type of interior design they have. Why is this so f*in difficult? You'd think hiphotels.net would have good info, right? NOPE. They don't even list The Mondrian. UGH. And if a hotel has Kiehl's toiletries (like 15 Beacon in Boston), that's something that would sway my decision. I hate that Bath & Body Works Juniper Breeze sh*t. It smells gross! ** rant over **

My searchings did lead me to this cool website, Splendora.com, to find out the best places to get pamered in NY and LA.

I think I see a market for a website! I'd be able to write off all my travels and stays. JACKPOT. Gonna have to look into that when I get back home.

Get Your Love On

So in checking up on my email, I had a nice little mailer from Skinmarket, one of my very favorite stores, which I WILL be patronizing while in Vegas. They have a new sugar body scrub. I've used the brown sugar body scrub in "Deliciousness" and it is just so yummy I want to lick myself (on the arm, perverts). They now have "love is: smooth" pomegranate sugar scrub. Gonna get me some of that.

Olympic Dreams

As it gets closer to the opening of the Olympics, more and more people are realizing that I'm gonna be there... so the requests are rolling in.

Joel wants an olympic snowglobe for Hannah.



Michael (my brother-in-law) wants an olympic team hockey jersey.



And Squib wants Powder (the love hearts bribe is an offer I can't refuse):



May I add that I am giving mad props to whoever came up with the mascots for Salt Lake 2002. They are the cutest mascots ever!!!

Don't Go in The Water

Just this weekend, Jenny was pondering if Will & Grace was about the "jump the shark" by having Matt Damon on as a guest star. I made her explain the term "jump the shark" as I wasn't sure the meaning. She explained that it is the point at which a tv show does some crazy stunt to get ratings and after that point, the show goes into the toilet and eventually gets cancelled. The term was coined based on the Happy Days episode where Fonzie jumped the shark. (SIDE NOTE: I had the BIGGEST crush on Richie - Ron Howard... long before he went bald... yep, had a thing for red hair and freckles back then)

Anyhoo, today I happened upon a website all about Jumping the shark - www.jumptheshark.com.

The best part about it, you get to vote when you think a show jumped the shark.

Drink Me

Taking Daniela's lead, I checked to see what drink I am...



Which drink are you?