Correction

Well, guess I spoke too soon. By yesterday evening, Stepdad and The Replacement are back together, trying to work things out. Whatever.

Drama Ensues

Just as the layoffs at work come to closure and I wonder, for a brief moment, if life might stabilize... more drama ensues. The Stepdad broke up with "The Replacement" (Mom's "best" friend who he hooked up with within two months of her death). He is depressed and feels horrible because she sold her house, moved in with him at his new house, and retired (read: quit) her job.

Should he feel bad? Hell F*in no. She's a complete moron. What kind of idiot thinks a guy who just lost his wife of 28 years is thinking rationally? How low does your IQ have to be to think that he is seriously in love with you after two weeks of "making a connection"? What kind of a money grubbing scab do you have to be to expect this guy to take care of you for the rest of your life?

Nope, no sympathy from me, only loathing. I hate her for making him feel bad. I hate her for making him shave his head and wear khakis. I hate her for decorating his new house with 80's furniture. I hate her for smoking like a feind. I hate her for trying to change Stepdad after Mom liked him just as he was - missing teeth, balding and all. I hate her for being ugly. I'm glad she's gone.

I feel for him. He didn't know how to handle this tragedy, got distracted for a few months, and now has to face the real mourning AND deal with "the replacement" situation. I can't even fathom his emotional pain. I am worried that he may not want to handle it. I want everything to be alright, but I don't see a way for it to be. I'm scared.

today sucks in many ways

Jenny posted about some cool new milks. More good news about milk - studies show that calcium in dairy products stimulates weight loss.

They say, "a diet high in calcium helps the body metabolize and burn fat cells, thereby accelerating the weight loss process"

So I'm gonna eat more cheese. Cheese, cheese, cheese... I love it! I love it! I love it! [said in a Molly-Shannon-SNL-character tone of voice]

I'm gonna eat brie and camembert and cheddar and muenster... oh, and stuff with dairy in/on it - pizza with extra mozzarella, cheeseburgers, mac&cheese, Capt'n Crunch with milk, McDonalds Fruit Parfaits, chocolate milk, pudding, smooooothies... and then I'm going to wonder why I'm not losing weight ;-)

Other links:
http://www.cdrf.org/newsletter/dbsum02/dbeat1.htm
Get the Skinny on Calcium
Milk May Help Reduce Obesity
whymilk.com

The US is going to use dolphins to help in the war. As an avid dolphin lover, I'm proud... proves that they are intelligent, heroic animals...

But I am also concerned for their safety, which I have to wonder has been compromised by posting the info up on the internet. If the news hadn't been posted, maybe the Iraqi's wouldn't think to be on the lookout for suspicious dolphins...

Either way, you go Flipper!

I'm not completely shallow or deluded. I realize that the world is in turmoil and here I am, talking about cosmetics and/or food. It is a coping technique.

Since Mom passed away, I have begun to indulge myself in things that seem to give me comfort - I think I deserve it... because I've been through the most devastating loss and need to get through it. At first, visiting Sherri and Mya was my main source of comfort. Then they moved to Syracuse and what was four days per week turned in to once a week if lucky (winter weather be damned). So I turned to smaller comforts, buying cute things... eating really yummy food (yummy=fattening)... staying up late... drinking lots of coffee... anything to make myself feel better...

and with all the other depressing things since - Punky dying, impending layoffs at work, Aaron getting called to duty, medical problems, stepdad off his rocker and with a new woman within 2 months of Mom's death, three of my closest friends getting laid off, Chuck's Dad in the hospital, and now WAR, I just can't focus on the bad stuff or I'll stop functioning altogether.

So for now, I am obsessed with seemingly shallow things. They're easier to think about.

See what I do? I start a blog... take time to gather pictures... and next thing you know, a week has gone by. UGH!

What have I been doing? Taking Gram to lunch, visiting Mom's grave, going to Sarah's St. Patty's Day party (her & Denis makes the best corned beef EVER), visiting my beautiful niece and sis, working out with Jenny, watching movies with Jenny as she frantically tries to see all the ones involving Oscar nominations, and trying not to eat everything in sight... including but not limited to: Pellegrino's Buffalo Chicken subs, home baked mac & cheese, frozen Swiss Cake Rolls, birthday cake, fried eggs, and Robin's Eggs (which double as lipstick in a pinch).

More About the Cosmetaddiction

In the bit of shopping I got to do in Chicago, I focused my efforts... mainly spending time at Sephora, Nordstrom's, and the Sanrio store... As a cosmetaddict, I got more goodies...



Eyeko's Strawberry Fat Lip Balm
This new brand, Eyebeauty, was a particularly cool find at Nordstroms. I got this lip balm for me and the Minty version for Jenny.


Benefit Hoola
Bronzing dust, so I can look like I've been visiting Peppermint Tina!


Shiseido Multi-Treatment Hair Lotion
I really wanted a hair "refresher", like Febreze for the hair, but this was new, different, pretty... so I bought it.


Shiseido Pureness Matifying Stick Oil-Free
Not sure if I needed this, but Jenny had gotten it in Florida and it felt nice on the skin... besides, anything Jenny likes, I like too.

I once was a Ho Ho snob and would not so much as consider eating a Faux Ho... but then I cheaped out, bought the Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls, put them in the freezer (based on an inside tip)... and today I am addicted... and saving thousands of dollars a year in snack cake expenditures.

Seriously, try it. YUM!

I'm Baaack

Just back from my business trip to Chicago. Three days of standing around a mall watching people use our kiosk. It was interesting (though at times, boring and painful). Luckily, it wasn't a great mall (nice but not any stores we don't have in Rochester), so I wasn't compelled to dessert my post and SHOP THE WHOLE TIME.

We were outside of a toy store and every morning they put out this little snorting pig. So for three days, for about 8 hours a day, I heard: "oink, oink, oinkoinkoink... oink, oink, oinkoinkoink" On the last day, we showed up and they had added a chattering monkey. I honestly think that the toy store guys were trying to drive us insane. But all in all, it was a good trip.

Got some good shopping in (speed shopping... with little time to spare and a non-shopaholic male hovering over me with "that look") and some good eating... Chicago style pizza from both Giordano's and Gino's East (where Chris Farley used to fatten up). My new kick, love the stuff... why do I get so obsessed with certain foods? Because they're DAMN GOOD, that's why. Thank God you can order the pizza online and have them sent FedEx!

For $1000, this Teak Monkey better clean my house, do my laundry AND pick the mites out of my hair.

Beauty Product Addict

Hello, my name is Tina, and I'm a Cosmetaddict. I bought more stuff when I was in LV and FL...


blisslabs Nail & Cuticle Super Groom
new to me... loving it... seems to truly work well... it goes on really thick though, lots of rubbing in to do



Phytodefrisant Hair Straightening Balm
just restocking... love this stuff to straighten my curly hair



Michael Kors Leg Shine
new to me... been reading about it for years... finally got me some... haven't used it yet... it's still too cold in this frozen tundra I call home



Lancome RÉSOLUTION D-CONTRAXOL™ Intensive Anti-Wrinkle Treatment Dermo-Crease Reducer
And then, after lots of reading about this "breakthrough product... no need for botox", I broke down and bought it... been using it for just over a week... no change yet, but it smells really nice and feels very soothing. Thumbs up so far, even if I do still have a big crinkle in my forehead.

Detour to Financial Ruin

Since I'm on a bit of a health kick - joined the gym at work, trying to eat healthier - my fitness-nut brother starts spewing advice on what to eat. He raves about the new Detour bar... "it tastes just like a Snickers", he says. So I shell out - GET THIS - $2.99 for a Detour bar... and it tastes like Snickers, for about a minute, then the aftertaste tastes like ASS. Honestly, it wasn't horrible, but it wasn't scrumpdelyiscious either. I'd rather spend 59 cents, eat a real Snickers and be fat, thank you very much.

I also find it pretty funny that I found a site called beefcakenutrition.com ... bah hah hah.

The baby girl is getting so big. And talk about eyelash envy! J Lo may have to wear fake eyelashes made out of fox fur, but Mya won't even need lengthening mascara!

Dammit - Mr. Rogers died. I used to love when he showed how things were made. Crayons, food... That's why I love Unwrapped so much, same idea, but all food.

Bye Neighbor.

Dad and Kevin Spacey
Separated at birth?

Last thursday would have been my Dad's 58th birthday. He's been gone almost 12 years now.

things about my Dad:
- he was Airborne in the army
- he loved my Mom, but he cheated on her
- for a time, he was a biker
- he owned a motorcycle shop
- he had a Harley
- he hung out with Hells Angels
- he was a hippie
- he had long hair that I used to brush and braid
- he looked like Willie Nelson (in Willie's younger years)
- he had a sign that said, "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers"
- he and Mom divorced, Stepmom was 13 yrs his junior
- for a time, he lived off the deer he hunted
- he had many tattoos (including the Harley Davidson symbol across his chest)
- he was a BS artist
- he swore ALOT
- he was a great storyteller
- he moved to Vegas and became a Craps dealer (irony)
- after the haircut and shave, he looked like Kevin Spacey
- he had a huge dimple on his right cheek (he'd tell us he got stabbed in the face)
- he was a heavy gambler
- for a time, he was dealing drugs
- he owned a meat factory (sausage & stuff)
- he owned a deli
- he loved his children
- he smoked like a feind
- he died of lung cancer

He definitely wasn't the best father, husband, or model citizen, but he was unique, interesting and loving, and I miss him.


Hippie-Willy-Nelson--Biker-Dad

Chocolate Fest

Today was Chocolate Fest at work. We got the book "Chocolate Astrology", by Joy Nagy, as a prize. Here's what it had to say about Scorpios:

-------------------
The perfect chocolate for a Scorpio:
Milk Chocoate Truffles with Rum Raisin Cream Filling

With it's seductive flavor, rum raisin appeals to Scorpio's wild sensuality. The smooth, rich milk chocolate coating then satisfies the Scorpion's desire for sweets.

Scorpions are intense, headstrong, forever mysterious, and passionate about love and food. This sign's unquenchable appetite for chocolate is symbolic of their appetite for life itself.
-------------------

OK, I REALLY don't like Rum Raisin... I prefer dark chocolate... I'm not sure about the wild sensuality, but I AM headstrong and I am passionate about food. Specifically, at this point in time, Chicken Madeira from The Cheesecake Factory...

Back to the harsh reality of upstate NY. My sister calls it "the f**ing tundra". But I'm still glad to be home. Grizzy got picked up from the kennel today all squeaky clean with a big bow around his neck. I was relieved to see him... he just turned 11, no spring chicken... and I'm worried about losing him too. I think my hormones are out of whack... I'm having these irrational thoughts and another round of intense grieving. Crying every night. It started in FL and continues. I think that being around Chuck's parents brought home the harsh reality that I have no parents. Both gone. Too difficult to fathom at times. I still think, "I have to call Mom and tell her..." then realize... then sadness overcomes me.

I took a big risk today. I went with my Mother-in-law to take Chuck's two young cousins to see Jungle Book 2. They are 6 (Kristen) and 3 (Michael). The past 2 days, Michael has been a hellion and his behavior has had me teetering on the brink of deciding never to have children. Last night at dinner he held his fork and knife up to my face and said, "I'll cut you up."

So needless to say, I wasn't too keen on taking the kid to the movies, but as a favor to Chuck's Mom, I went, knowing that she couldn't handle both kids. I thought for sure the effects would be permanent birth control. I was wrong. They were angels. Apparently, when their parents take Michael to the movies, he has to get up and go to the bathroom about 5 times. Not for us, he went before the movie, then sat quietly through the whole thing, just a peep here and there, nothing big.

My faith in children is restored. For now anyway.

Sunny Florida?

Third day here in Florida. It's been chilly and POURING rain. The sun has finally come out, but it's not warm enough to hit the pool... which, given my habit of inactivity, is not a bad thing. Bathing suit be damned!

So far, the visit looks like this... eat, watch tv, eat, sleep in, go to flea market and eat hamburger, go to movies and eat popcorn, go to eat after movies, watch tv, sleep in, spend 2 hours deciding which hotel to book in Orlando, eat, watch tv, eat. Oooh, and I think we're going out to eat shortly.