Ode to Pluto

Pluto, Pluto, how can it be
They stripped you of your title
why can't they see
that you will always be a planet to me

Jenny got me hooked on the show Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe, a show on Discovery Channel where he goes and does, well, dirty jobs. I didn't watch it initially because it just looked too gross. Bugs and sewage and stuff. But the more Jenny talked about how funny he is, and made me watch the HILARIOUS episode on harvesting big clams called geoducks (gooey-ducks), the more I felt compelled to watch it. In the new episode he shaved Alpacas. They spit on him, too funny.

I went to the website and took the What Dirty Job Suits You test. I got these results:

You dabble in the depths of disgust, but only after making sure that no one is watching you. You are torn between your natural instinct to get down and dirty, and society's rules of order and decorum. In other words, you are likely to pick, scratch or rub in the privacy of your own home, but never in the light of day.

CAREER RECOMMENDATIONS: Long-haul trucker. Strange uncle or aunt.

Hubby says that's good - I ALREADY am a strange aunt.

Jenny appropriately bought Lauren a little tee that says "LITTLE SLEEPY HEAD"at Old Navy this weekend.

I went picture crazy again, more pics are up

I wish I had a pet so I could tattoo it.

On thursday my Sis and Mya (my 4 year old niece) decided to put a fake tattoo on Lauren. The conversation with my niece went something like this:

Mya: we put a tattoo on Wauren
Me: What?!
Mya: it's a baby bu-er-fwy
Me: uh oh, Uncle Charlie might not be too happy about that
Mya: it's just a reawy tiny tattoo
Me: I know, but Uncle Charlie (abruptly cutoff)
Mya: BYE

We were watching tv Saturday morning when, in the background, I heard a familiar song... I started singing to Lauren as she began crying...

What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect. Hey!
What-a you think you do? Hey!
Why you look-a so sad? Hey!
It's-a not so bad. Hey! It's-a nice-a place.
Ah, shaddap-a you face!

Hubby was astounded, "You know the words? You've heard this song before?"

I thought everybody knew the Shaddupa You Face song. Maybe just Italians? Either way, I'll teach it to him because it's alot of fun to sing, especially to a crying half-Italian baby.

Quite a few years ago, my Mom bought my Gram a Cabbage Patch doll. We were visiting Gram this weekend. Lauren met "Johnny". She was confused. Was it a mirror? Was it her twin? Was it her new boyfriend? Someday we'll tell her the truth about "Johnny".

I became a Peetnik today. It's Jenny's fault. She got me hooked on Peet's Major Dickason's coffee when she innocently brought me back some as a souvenier from her trip to CA last month. So as I ran out, I found myself in dire straights. But now I'm a Peetnik, so it will all be ok. I will have the coffee delivered to me automatically each month. Whew!

If only Jamba did the same thing. Yet another thing Jenny got me addicted to, among many others... her home-made Bugogi... Lay's Lime & Cracked Pepper Potato Chips... I thought they'd be gross, but they were YUM YUM YUM. Then my sis came over and was dipping them in tuna fish. Again, I thought "super-gross", but tried it and BINGO, another top 10 food addiction.

Jenny also did the near impossible, got me to like salad. She found a secret weapon - Emerald Nuts Glazed Walnuts - throw them on some lettuce with some Craisins and Honey Balsamic Vinegar dressing - and it's a salad I really like, not just feel socially obligated to eat.

There are many others, too numerous to mention. I suppose I've done the same to her... we're always excited to go to a city with a Cheesecake Factory and chow down on the likely-laced-with-crack Chicken Madeira! And going west always means we start singing our favorite little ditty, "In-n-Out, In-n-Out Burger, In-n-Out, In-n-Out Burger"...

Little L is getting so strong, she is already trying to sit up on her own, so I ordered her a Bumbo chair. I hope it comes soon, I can't wait to see the little one try it out. I hope she doesn't flop forward and do a face plant.

I'm reading this book called Secrets of the Baby Whisperer : How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby. I figured if the Dog Whisperer can help so much, this might be a good read. Bottom line: babies need structure. So I'm trying to follow the author's E.A.S.Y. plan - Eat. Activity. Sleep. You (as in ME time, which is a joke, because ME time usually involves doing laundry, dishes, or, if I'm lucky, actually washing my hair).

We were doing pretty good with the E.A.S.Y. plan on Sunday until, just as I was about to give Little L a bath (an Activity), hubby called - his truck had crapped out nearly in the middle of a major intersection. I had to pack up the kid and drive out to get him. $650 later, his truck is fixed, for now. Little L took it all in stride though, not too much Birth Control Crying out of her.

This is what they do to my child at my sister's house.

For the last two mornings, Lauren has cried for the entire half-hour morning commute. The ear-piercing Birth Control Cry. Last week she was falling asleep within moments of the rubber hitting the road. This week, she is putting me on the highway to hell.

She's also comes home from my sister's smelling like food. The other night, she smelled like a donut. It was so distinct, it nearly sent me into a Krispy Kreme frenzy.

The following night, it was still a donut, but this time a chocolate donut. Yet another near desperate trip to K.K.

And yesterday, I am positive she smelled like buttered toast.

I'm sure my sister has not been cooking donuts in vats of boiling oil while caring for three kids. I'm also pretty sure that she didn't make SO much toast that it infiltrated my child's pores. So I ask myself, am I a food halucinator? And is Lauren the trigger? What is happening here?

Today she smelled like buttercream frosting. Really.

This is how great Jenny is (and how lucky I am to have her as my BFF) - she came over to our house the other night and made US dinner. She brought all the fixins for Chicken Quesadillas and smoothies, took over the kitchen, and cooked up a storm. Everything was delicious (especially the smoothies made with Peach sorbet) and we were very happy to have a normal dinner as opposed to Special K or Kashi Good Friends (hubby's usual dinner of choice).

Then we had the leftovers the next night.

I am going to start calling Jenny "Gemmy" because she is a true gem.

Forgot to tell everyone that Little L is over 10 pounds! She's an eater, just like her Mom. She's also a TV watcher like me, I mean she really gets mesmerized. Maybe it's because I watched so much TV while she was in the womb - while I was in the hospital - that it's very comforting to her. She'll be demanding TiVo by the time she is 3.

Lauren had to have a pH probe put in today to see how bad her reflux is. I don't think she really needed it because she's been alot better the last week or two, but the dr. wanted to go ahead.

So she had to have this wire tube thing down her nose into her esophogas and wear little arm restraints so she couldn't pull it out. It has to stay in for 24 hours. Things at the hospital always take so long that not only is the kid extremely agitated by being poked and prodded, she's starving.

So she was SCREAMING bloody murder - the Birth Control Cry - and would NOT be consoled. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The harder she cried, the more I began to cry.

Why can't I act like the over-35 adult that I should be? My therapist and I are working on that.

The new season of Entourage started last week, so of course I was tuned in to HBO, since Jeremy Piven has been a favorite of mine since PCU.

After Entourage, the show Lucky Louie came on. I didn't intend to start watching it - I REALLY don't need another show to be addicted to, but I found it HILARIOUS. Quite raunchy, but very funny. Then I saw him (Louis C.K.) on the Daily Show and he had me rolling, so now I'm hooked on yet another tv show. Thank God for DVR.

What is it about guys catching crabs that is so enthralling? I love watching Deadliest Catch. I think I most enjoyed seeing the sheer number of crabs... and then imagining them cooked and dipped in butter. Mmmm.

It's over for the season, but I'm sure I'll even watch the reruns.

Jenny picked up Stewie today. I was very happy to see Jenny, but sad to see Stewie go. He is a unique little pickle, that one. A cat that acts like a well behaved dog. OK, well behaved UNTIL last night, when he jumped on the counter and got the package of rolls. There was only one left. He managed to get it out of the plastic bag, then drag it over to the living room and chew it up, leaving crumbs everywhere. Yes, a CAT ate a HARD ROLL. Not a can of tuna, not a block of cheese, a hard roll, unbuttered.

I forgave him though and invited him back anytime. He's a great snuggler.

I've been trying to sing songs to Little L and am having a hard time remembering the lyrics to some of my favorites from my childhood. Thank goodness for the internet. I think I'm going to have to print all the songs from this site.

Here are some of my other favorites, remember these?

On Top of Spaghetti
Found a Peanut
Baby Bumble Bee (with my aversion to bees, this was one of my favorites)

Little L had her 4 month checkup this week. Weighed in at 9lbs 5oz and probably has gained even more since.

I am gearing up to go back to work. My sister is going to watch Lauren, which is great. Not that it will be a nice serene setting for Little L, her cousins are little hellions (aren't all 4 and almost-2 year olds?) so they will keep it interesting.

Mya doesn't quite say her l's yet, so she calls Lauren "Warren". It is so funny. I now call her Warren sometimes too. I'm sure she'll love that when she's older. Better than calling her Little Red Dottinghood, since she is covered in Hemangiomas. Yes, my child looks normal in her cutsie little clothes, but underneath she has the big dipper in red dots on her torso and a herniated belly button - or more accurately - a belly balloon. She's a freak child underneath her clothes!

More pics are up too - http://www.kodakgallery.com/tina

Stewie has been a very good houseguest, aside from the attack on my plants. He doesn't like to hear Lauren cry - he goes to her (even busting in to her bedroom at one point) and checks on her. Once he seems assured that she is ok, he wanders away. I have been nervous about keeping him out of her room, afraid I'll find him curled up on her face, but he listens so well and comes when he's called, so he's easy to keep track of.