Thursday, January 25, 2001

Clean as a Whistle

Get ready for it, the "First Major Toilet Paper Innovation in over 100 Years". Yes, debuting this week, "Cottonelle Fresh™ Rollwipes — America's first and only dispersible, pre-moistened wipe on a roll."

I don't know what shocks me more, the fact that toilet paper NEEDS to change or the fact that it hasn't changed AT ALL in so many years. I think that until now, toilet paper has been the antithesis of the personal computer. All that's over now. First pre-moistened, what'll be next, exfoliating? "For a youthful looking...", err, I won't even go there.

Bunny Hugger Blunder

As many of you may know, my friend Jenny loves bunnies. She had a beloved pet bunny (R.I.P. Bunny) whom she misses very much and she collects all things bunny related. She is a true bunny hugger. I am also a great lover of animals. I sob when I see roadkill, imagining the suffering and pain endured. Emergency Vets sets me off like a faucet. My doggie and kittie (Grizz and Punky) get big kisses when I get home. I have deer whistles on my car for their sake more than mine. I used to volunteer as an educator at the zoo. I love those sweet little fuzzy faces and don't want to bring them any harm. That is, unless I'm hungry, then the story changes slightly.

Anyway, last week I lost my gloves and, being that it's still DAMN COLD here, had to dig out another pair. The only thing I found was a pair of rabbit-fur-lined mittens my Mom had gotten me a couple years ago for Christmas. I didn't want to offend my Mom, but I was horrified, so I kept them but never wore them. Until now. I really didn't have much of a choice and, as much as I hate to admit it, they are toasty warm. Well Jenny got a glimpse of them today and the look on her face was crushing. She said, "heeeyyyy" and, after grabbing at them, "those feel familiar."

I'm sorry Jenny, but don't feel bad, they just shaved the little guys and then sent them on their way. Glued the fur into the gloves. Yep, I read it on the tag, yeah, that's how they make 'em.

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