Hallelujah! Jamba Juice now has "Enlightented Smoothies - 1/3 less calories. All Jamba". Not to say that I care about the calories in a Jamba. They could contain 3000 calories and I'd still partake. But it's nice to know that if they ever open Jambas here and my addiction is allowed to be fully recognized, I could potentially keep from doubling my body weight by favoring the lo-cal versions.

Jenny will NOT like them because... guess what they contain... yep... Horrenda (Jenny's name for Splenda). She's like a bee that can sense fear. She can tell in seconds whether something contains horrenda.

Thank you to Paula K. for keeping me up to speed as I sit here in this God-Forsaken Jamba-Juice-Deficient land of NY.

AAAAAAHHHHHH, I take it back, there's a Jamba in NYC now!! Sadly, still an 8 hour drive away. DAMMIT!

Must travel. Must get Jamba. Life force is fading...

In the early 80's, in Vegas, I used to hang at "Sev" (7/11) and play arcade games. I liked Asteroids, Centipede and Frogger, but I kicked butt on Pac Man. I had a pattern - and it worked like a charm. In the mid 80's living back home in Rochester, starting to date Chuck who had a Nintendo, and spent more hours than I care to admit playing Tetris.

Now you can play Frogger online.

Food Fragrances are the New Black

Jenny and I love beauty products that smell like food. Some of my favorites include DuWop Buttercream Lotion, Jaqua Girls Marshmallow Cocoa Body Whip, Chocolate Head hair conditioner, Aqualina Pink Sugar fragrance, and the no-longer-available Skinmarket Brown Sugar Body Scrub (which smelled so yummy, it started a bad self-sniffing habit).

Now there are a few new ones I must try, including Jessica Simpson's new Dessert Beauty line, which has Whipped Body Cream With Candy Sprinkles. Mmmm.

And The Bakery, which has White Chocolate Mousse Bath BonBons.

And Fresh Body Market, Inc., which has Coco Banana Slush (body soap).

Now I just need Krispy Kreme to bottle that wall-o-glaze scent and I'll be set for life. Heck, I'd bet the glaze itself could double as product. I'd wash with it, moisturize with it, condition my hair with it, soften my cuticles with it, let it get hard and crumbly, then exfoliate with it... I think I'm on to something here...

Poor Monkey

BONUS - found this flash animation while searching for monkeys... ***HILARIOUS***

Cheeky Monkey

The other day at lunch with Jenny and April, I commented that cartoon monkeys are like Benicio Del Toro... sometimes very cute, other times, rather non-cute.

Good Looking Benicio:


Not so good looking Benicio:


Good looking Monkey (Lia Studio)


Not so good looking Monkey:

As you may know, I love Peeps. They were always the staple of my Easter Basket. Sis's special item was chocolate covered marshmallows (yuck, imho), Bro loved the straight-up chocolate and I was lavished with Peeps.

Last year, Jenny and I got Guster hooked up with the Peeps Fun Bus and this year Guster created a Peeps basket for a charity auction.

While looking up how they make Peeps (after Joel's curiosity was peaked when I told him that marshmallows are "extruded"), I found that you can buy a limited edition Peeps t-shirt with proceeds going to Easter Seals. Mine will arrive after Easter, but let's face it, anytime is a good time for Peeps.

Trend Alert

Apparently the hot new thing is to take a product geared toward children and add alcohol.

First came 'juice box' wine. Now there's vodka ice-cream. Time to jump on the bandwagon and market Jello-shot Jigglers.

Mascot Aerobics

While we're on the subject of costumed characters, Abby told me that she heard that the guy who dresses as the Moose mascot for the Rochester Amerks hockey team loses 7 lbs a game! Which, with my twisted thinking and ever-present quest to lose weight quickly (me and about 1 billion other women's)... this info sparked an idea...

Characterobics!... don't just wear a mascot costume... learn to BE a mascot. Lose weight while building your fallback career.

Brilliant! Richard Simmons - lookout!

However, after reading the "Troubleshooting" section of MascotNet - The Comprehensive Site for Mascots and Administrators - [section #5: Hugging/Touching Children: Don't let our hand stray to any part of a person that could be interpreted as unacceptable. Many mascots have lost their jobs due to "straying hands"] I'd say my theory (from yesterday) is not so far fetched. It's a costumed-character conspiracy, I tell ya!

The Characterobics class will teach proper conduct, utilizing advice from our own Rochester Moose who says, "When dealing with children, I have always practiced "the head and back" rule. When interacting with them, you mess up their hair, pat on the head, etc. For hugging it is on the back, above the belt."

When I was 15, I visited DisneyWorld. I met Pluto. Pluto touched my butt. I have been uncomfortable around large, costumed characters ever since. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but it doesn't seem so crazy now that Tigger has been arrested!

I'm picturing this secret society of mascots and other various character-types... who's main goal is to see how much they can get away with in the name of I-can-barely-see-through-the-mouth of-this-giant-head-which is-why-my-paw-accidentally-grabbed-your ...

I had a crush on Christopher Lambert after watching Highlander back in 1984. I was surprised when I saw the trailer for The Punisher - there he was and hadn't appeared to age a day!! Then I went to the site and... it's NOT Chrisopher. It's Thoman Jane. Completely different guy.

A new "liberal" radio station has launched called Air America. Basically to offer the other side of the conservative radio - the Rush Limbaughs and such.

I want to hear it mainly because the liberals also happen to be comedians and humor is about the only way I can stomache politics.

More pics from Florida, including the puppy, Piglet, and a crazy bird.

Retail Therapy

Jenny got me these great new Sniff tissues that have my likeness on them and say "Retail Therapy". I am a firm believer that purchasing cute gifties for others or for yourself can improve your mood. I generally like to find things that are adorable but that you don't have to be a lottery winner to afford. I always tell my hubby, "you're lucky I shop the way I do". I'm not sure he truly knows how much I could spend were I to buy Marc Jacobs handbags or Jimmy Choo shoes. Alas, unless I find them at a sample sale for 95% off, I am unlikely to own either.

If I were a splurger, I'd buy this Dooney & Bourke bag, which is just the most adorable thing I've laid eyes on since Tom Hanks rolling around in his underwear with that Dogue de Bordeaux in Turner & Hooch. But at 220 bucks, I can't justify spending that kind of money on a purse when family members can barely pay for their groceries.

Some less expensive but nearly as cute alternatives are online at Amici Accessories... found through my InStyle mag. Or maybe a replica Prada or Louis Vuitton bag from fashionflairs.com - very cute and many are under 30 bucks!

I also bought two of these new Body Whips at Parkleigh yesterday. A body cleanser and a Sugar Whip exfoliating cleanser. I can barely stand that they're not edible. They looks like it. They smell like it. They feel like it. I bet I could've gotten hubby to eat some... would've been funny... but entirely too cruel (not to mention I'd be living in fear while anticipating revenge).

And to help others while I help myself... I bought this very cute t-shirt designed by Joie, to support the fight against cancer through the Entertainment Industry Foundation.

Deep Fried Fatty Goodness

Apparently in Britain they call a sandwich a "sarnie". Apparently Americans aren't the only ones who love to indulge in mega-calorie meals. The hot dessert in the UK is called the "Suicide Sarnie" - a deep fried chocolate sandwich covered in chocolate sauce and ice cream - with 1000 calories per serving!

Here's the recipe:
1. Take two slices of white bread and liberally smother in chocolate sauce.
2. Dip in batter and deep fry.
3. Cover in more chocolate sauce and sprinkle with sugar.
4. Serve with a dollop of vanilla ice cream.

Make it, eat it, then run 10 miles to work it off (or not =).

Horse Help

I have yet to see one in action, but apparently Guide Horses are all the rage. Now we're not talking being led around by Hidalgo here, they're miniature horses, compact and painfully adorable.

Apparently, Guide Horses are great for people who are allergic to dogs, love horses, want an animal that lives longer and can live outside when off-duty (as if).

Sign of the Apocalypse

These are the new urinals at
the Virgin Atlantic clubhouse at JFK.

I want to know why CNN thinks they have become the National Enquirer. Here are real headlines from CNN.com...

Dog requires sex change to live
Future Boy Looks Ahead
Gay Mormons in love

What do I look like, a Nuclear Physicist?

drove home very slowly in the snowiness tonight... hoping something good would be on NPR... it was an interview with Physicist, Brian Green, about his String Theory and how the math indicates that there may be 10 dimensions, not just the measly 3 that we can perceive. I felt like I was high, in a bathtub with Donald Sutherland, Boon, & Katy, contemplating the existence of other universes under our own fingernails. Oooh.

Additionally, shouldn't a braniac math-wizz physicist have a better name than Brian Green? How can that compete with an I'm-very-quirky-but-super-intelligent name like Albert Einstein? All I could picture was Brian Austin Green (of Beverly Hills 90210 fame), throwing on a nerdy pair of glasses and singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" to communicate his theories on the creation of the universe.

At the end of the interview, I felt slightly more intelligent (I know, the opposite of what one might think would happen when listening to a physicist explain a new theory)... but I felt good that I could follow his thought process. Which means, Brian Green is really good at talking to the less-intellectually-fortunate without making them feel like they should be wearing a helmet to work.

So when I got home, I looked up the NPR show and linked through to The Official String Theory Web Site and was pleasantly surprised to see that the man is blessed with more than just good intelligence genes, he's handsome too. Let me consult my quantum physics equations to determine the odds of getting superior intelligence, ability to relate to common folk, and handsome all in one man. Its a 1 in 2,398,746,899.27 chance.

Mya Update

I'm biased, but I think my niece Mya is just adorable. See for yourself.

I'm Baaack

Well, I'm back Florida. I did meet the puppy on Tuesday, became very attached to each other (puppy cried whenever I left the room), then had to leave the next day. I wonder if she'll remember me when I see her again in a couple months.

If the puppy had come earlier, I might have enjoyed my "vacation" a bit more. I don't think that staying with the in-laws in a retirement community in Middle Bumble Ef Florida can count as a vacation. There must be research that shows humans can only tolerate 3.8 days of visiting relatives. I was there for 7.4 days - you do the math.

Here are some pictures of the little fuzz ball herself.

XX Car

Volvo is designing a car by women for women. At first, I thought that adding in an indentation to accomodate pony tails into the headrest was a bit OTT... then I realized, I have had to take my hair down before to get comfortable while driving, and curly-haired ladies, you know... after you've had your hair up for a while, then take it down, it poofs out so you look like Carrot Top on a bad hair day - and have to drive around looking like a madwoman... so maybe it's not so crazy after all.

The puppy's not coming today. Supposedly tomorrow, but now I'm not getting my hopes up.

Went and saw "50 First Dates" last night (at least there's a movie theater nearby), it was very cute. Made me think of PT *;) - Hawaii is so beautiful and such an interesting culture. I read a good article about it in National Geographic - about how many years ago, Native Hawaiians were forced to give up their culture and language, and more recently, there is a resurgance in rediscovering the traditions.

So I'm in Florida on vacation. Not my idea of an ideal vacation by any stretch of the imagination. Smack dab in the middle of the state... nowhere near beaches or good shopping or young people... in a retirement village... where the most exciting thing to do is play Monkey Train (have yet to figure out what that is, but my Mother-in-law is excited to get us to play)

But let me try to relay the positives:
- it's warm, 85ish... until tomorrow anyway, when the high will be in the 60s (still better than 30s)
- my in-laws are getting a puppy tomorrow
- got to have Chicken Madeira at The Cheesecake Factory (after driving one hour each way)
- I'm not at work

Sooo, that's about it.

Other than that, I want to say to PT *:) that I owe you a BIG thank you for the Valentine's Day giftie, brightened my day. Sorry I'm such a slow-poke loser in thanking you.

And I want to thank Jenny for packing Piglet and tell you that I saw the super-skinny lady. Eeww. This woman we saw last year, she looks both 90 pounds and 90 years old, a sun-worshipper with wrinkles in every crack and crevice (or as Joel might say, crev-ah-se ;). She's probably only 65. Inspired me to wear my hat in the sun this year! I do not want to get old and decrepid... but if I do, I'd rather be plump than look like a slim-jim with arms.

Ooh, if you live in the LA area, you should apply for this Blowout show on Bravo - it looks like fun! What would be even more fun would be if Tiger Woods and Tobey Maguire were the ones doing the blowdrying!

Change of subject...
C'mon, Lord of the Rings didn't have to win EVERYTHING. Thanks goodness Sofia Coppola pulled out Best Original Screenplay. Billy Crystal was funny, the women looked great, Sting looked hot "playing" that chunky monkey or whatever Jenny figured out it was called. It was a fun evening. Perhaps, someday, I will be there as the little sis of a famous actor.

This year Jenny and Aaron, veteran Winterluders, invited us along to Ottawa. Jenny booked hubby and I at the Alanbury House Bed & Breakfast, complete with resident cat Penelope and jacuzzi tub. It was wonderful.

We skated, ate Beavertails, saw a great trampoline exhibition by the Canadian Olympic skiiers and snowboarders.

I finally committed and bought a snowboard. I went to The Lounge on the recommendation of my friend Tony (who designed their website). I was told to talk to Josh. I walked in, met Josh, gave him my backstory (still a beginner, don't want to fall, etc.)... he walked over to the rack of snowboards and pulled out the Solace by Ride, made especially for women....

When I saw the beautiful little pandas staring up at me... the clouds parted, angels sang, and the heavens spoke, "this is the chosen one".

Josh pulled out a couple more less pricey options, but I'll be honest, given that the techie specs of the board seemed to fit my needs better, I was willing to pay extra for cuteness. I don't think I had a choice. The snowboard had chosen me.

I haven't had a chance to ride it yet, but even if I never ride it, just looking at it brings me happiness. I may just hang my zen board on the wall in my living room and use it for art instead of sport.

It truly is a thing of beauty.

Be Like Mike.... 's Sister

If you want breast accoutriments like Janet Jackson, search no longer.... you can buy them at Tribalectic.com (attaching barbell sold separately).

Even though I bought a snowboard this weekend, I can't help but wish with all my heart and soul that this was me, at Monkey Mia resort in Australia, petting dolphins.

I was very saddened to hear that Adam Sandler's dog Meatball died last month. Of all things, he died of a heart attack. He was only 4.

Today was Go Red for Women day to promote awareness of heart disease in women. Apparently women don't recognize their heart attack symptoms and just the awareness could save your life.

They say that most heart attacks start slowly. Here are the symptoms:

- Chest discomfort... in the center of the chest... lasts more than a few minutes, or that goes away and comes back
- Discomfort in other areas of the upper body... can include discomfort in arms, back, neck, jaw or stomach.
- Shortness of breath
- other signs may include breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheadedness

To learn more, go to the American Heart Association site. If you enroll, you can get this very cute pin.

Movies Movies Movies

Daniela has been using Netflix for years and recommended it many times over. Last month I FINALLY signed up and I love it! For $20 a month, you get as many DVDs as you can watch... three at a time. Each time you send one back (even if it's a month later), they send you the next one in your queue within days.

I started off renting Colin Firth movies:
Pride and Prejudice: Vol. 1 (vg)
Pride and Prejudice: Vol. 2 (vg)
My Life So Far (g)
Fever Pitch (g)

Then went for a semi-mainstream George Clooney movie:
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (vg)

And moved on to Indy flicks:
Y Tu Mama Tambien (vvg)
Whale Rider (vvg)
The Shape of Things (good, but pissed me off)

Today I received 'I'm With Lucy', which likely isn't good, but rented it because I liked Gael Garcia Bernal in Y Tu Mama Tambien. Side note: Gael is also going to be in the new Pedro Almodovar movie, Bad Education.

And coming soon, my queue contains:
Capturing the Friedmans
Lost in Translation (worth watching again)
Queer as Folk: Season 1 (also worth watching again)

I like Netflix not just because it's convenient, but because it's so easy to search for movies... think how difficult it would be to go to the video store and find all the movies for your Christopher Guest Movie Marathon Party.

Another marketing point they should pick up on... the ability to rent Malibu's Most Wanted without getting dirty looks from the Skater Punk Video Store Clerk. (Not that I'D do that, I just recognize it as a benefit).

Strangeness

Couple strange things occured on my ride home... first, I'm stopped by 3 deer standing smack dab in the middle of the road. I beep, they barely move... I yell, "get out of the road!" Again, hardly a flinch... I yell again, "don't MAKE me come over there!"... they wander off very slowly...

Observation: the deer this year have extra fluffy fur

Than, a guy on a bike rides by. Why is that strange, you ask? Because he's riding his bike at 10pm, on a Wednesday, in 23 degree weather with a wind chill factor of about 97 below. Strange!

Bubblicious

Janet Jackson SOOO meant to do that. You don't wear a solar-burst ring thing without expecting it to be seen.

Celebs are just out of control with their antics these days. On that note, why is it that it seems like the only male nudity you see these days are old guy's butts? Jack Nicholson (Something's Gotta Give), Danny Devito (Big Fish), Harvey Keitel (every movie he's in)...

I love all things Aveda. Not only are their products wonderful, but they also donate to Rare to help protect the planet. Couple of my faves:


Curessence Damage Relief
Shampoo and Conditioner


Hand Relief lotion

... meanwhile... elsewhere in the world...
Dead Whale With 5 Foot Penis Explodes Onto Streets of Taiwan.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Ma'am, would you like some fries to go with that bicept curl?

Jenny & I worked out today... fourth day this weeks... very good, you say? Yes, but for dinner, I followed up with a bacon cheeseburger and fries.

Also this week... Jenny brought in a GINORMOUS tub of Laffy Taffy. I only like the banana flavor, so I'd root through and pick out all I could find... getting more scarce with each passing day. Today, with my stress level high and no yellow wrappers visible, I desperately dumped out the tub and managed to find one last handful of golden buried treasures. Barely a minute passed and I had devoured six of them. Take time to read the jokes, you ask? NOPE... peel, eat, peal, eat, peal, eat... I stopped myself with four left, which I brought to Joel, shaking, and asked him to save me from this downward spiral...

I'm scared because I'm well aware of the fact that you can buy a whole tub of JUST BANANA. I have done so in the past and it wasn't pretty. Three women, one tub, gone in 3 days... works out to a 20-a-day habit. That's 750 calories worth of sugary banana heaven in one day!

Now you know why I'm worried the addiction will kick back into full swing. Damn you Willy Wonka!

Hello, my name is Tina, and I'm a product addict, with newly restored internet connection and a weakness for clever marketing...

These Lube-in-a-Tube lip balms from Urban Decay are cool-looking, cool-sounding, and probably taste yummy. The description on Sephora reads: This rich, creamy shea butter and mango-enriched lip balm leaves your lips smooth and kissed with a hint of sexy, vanilla-mint infused color. Gotta get me some NYC.


Also just ordered some new Cleansing Queen goodies. With names like Liquid Lingerie, Sugar Daddy, and Butter Me Up, how can you resist?

I know alot of us are bunny huggers, but this Penguin Batting game is still fun.

For the past few weeks, my internet connection had been getting worse and worse, to the point of driving me insane.

When I first call, they say "no problem found, it must be your computer". So I delete many applications & files, check for viruses, reinstall my operating system... no improvement. Call again... they send two burly-guy techs, who show up, reaking of smoke, get snow and dirt all over the rugs (yes, I was too meek to ask them to take their boots off... I HAVE seen "The Cable Guy"... but honestly, shouldn't they have a policy...), and tell me "can't find a problem". So I install an upgrade to my OS (XP) and overwrite the old one. Still can't connect.... dying to book flights for Florida and/or Vegas but connection is too slow or gone. Pulling hair out. Another service call, another big burly technician (who wears grocery bags on his feet so as not to dirty the carpet)... yep, it's the modem... it was shot.

Back to lightning speed and getting my internet fix nightly. Hopefully will blog more now.

ME, as told by dictionary.com...

...in terms of my job:
Entry: disappointed
Function: adjective
Definition: saddened
Synonyms: aghast, balked, beaten, blue funk, cast down, chapfallen, complaining, defeated, depressed, despondent, disconcerted, discontented, discouraged, disenchanted, disgruntled, disillusioned, dissatisfied, distressed, down, downhearted, foiled, frustrated, hopeless, let down, objecting, shot down, taken down, thwarted, unhappy, unsatisfied, upset, vanquished, worsted

...in terms of my environment:
Entry: freezing
Function: adjective
Definition: cold
Synonyms: arctic, biting, bitter, chill, chilled, chilly, cold, cutting, frigid, frost-bound, frosty, gelid, glacial, icy, nippy, numbing, one-dog night, penetrating, polar, raw, shivery, Siberian, snappy, wintry

...in terms of my marriage:
Entry: enamored
Function: adjective
Definition: in love
Synonyms: amorous, attracted, besotted, bewitched, captivated, charmed, crazy about, crazy over, devoted, dotty, enchanted, enraptured, entranced, fascinated, fond, gone, gone on, hipped on, hooked, infatuated, loving, nuts about, silly about, smitten, stuck on, taken, wild about

...in terms of missing Mom:
Entry: brokenhearted
Function: adjective
Definition: devastated
Synonyms: crestfallen, crushed, desolate, despairing, despondent, disappointed, disconsolate, grief-stricken, grieved, heart-sick, heartbroken, heartsore, inconsolable, miserable, mournful, prostrated, sorrowful, wretched

Not only is Google a great search engine, but they are the coolest company ever. I noticed today that their language page not only includes Italian, Portuguese, German and the like, it also includes Klingon, Bork, bork, bork!, Elmer Fudd, Hacker, and, ymay avoritefay, igPay atinLay!! atThay isay ootay unnyfay!!

If not for family/friend proximity issues, along with the fact that a shack in CA costs more than four houses on my street put together, I'd strongly consider trying to get a job with them.

I am spoiled. I got lots of great gifties for Christmas... with the piece de resistance being a new wedding band. After 12 years of marriage, hubby surprised me with a new wedding ring earlier this year... and for Christmas, the matching band...

he is so wonderful, I am a lucky girl!

And many other great gifties...


a watch from Hubby


Peace of Mind gumballs from Hubby and Jenny (Hubby needed a hint on this one, Jenny instinctively knew that I'd love them)


I also got lots of yummy bath & body products from Sis, since she knows I am a beauty product addict... but they will likely cause a severe increase in my intake of sugary substances... either that or I will be caught licking my own arm and deemed insane...


Gingerbread Man body scrub


mini body powders (one in cake scent!)


Marshmallow Cocoa Body Whip


Pomegranate Body Polish... this one from Hubby

....and many more adorable things. Again, I am spoiled and it doesn't go unappreciated.

Made it through Christmas. Lots of good mixed with broken heartedness and anxiety. Had the family over on friday... not used to having so many people... or any for that matter, but... it went fairly well, but not without drama... Stepdad (and his no-show "new" woman) and Stepbrother (who didn't feel invited even though I didn't even know he was going to be in town) and my drug-addicted-perverted-tank-top-wearing-in-the-middle-of-winter Uncle.

I just thank God I have some truly wonderful people in my life that I can get through. Though I still wish Mom were here to comfort me.

In knowing that all this drama would upset Mom, I resolved myself to believing that in Heaven, souls have no feelings other than happiness. So Mom cannot feel regret or guilt or anger or sadness. So though she sees us, she doesn't worry about what goes on here on earth, she is at peace.

Last night I started to read "The Five People You Meet in Heaven". In it, the main character (who dies), experiences that exact thing - no pain, no sadness, no regret, only peace. I know it is fiction, but it brought me comfort to have my ideas reinforced. I'm only a bit in to it, but so far, it is a good book.

We exchanged gifts with Jenny & Aaron last night... J & A had done the most adorable wrapping job, completing each gift with Oscar sticker nametags. Jenny made me a very cute shirt, sticking with the heart theme of last year. Gifts are so much more special when they are made for you. I tried to pretend like I made the Nigella measuring cups I got for her, but that joke only went so far...



She showered me with other gifties too, including a small christmas tree (as she knows I'm still a little too Christmas-leary-lacky-cheery to have a big tree), Rudolph character ornaments for the tree, and a Starbucks espresso cup ornament, which I WILL be using as a real cup after the holidays =) And Origin's Peace of Mind gumballs, which I will probably chew up while trying to survive having the family over on Friday.

Hubby also got good gifties, enough poker chips to start his own Celebrity Poker Showdown. Now if only he could get Jude Law to show up, because, according to my Jane magazine, he is the celeb I am destined to kiss this year.

And Oscar got Grizzy a Pug "The Dog" Squeaky Toy and a huge bag of biscuits. Grizzy is quite pleased!

hmm, I can post about sad stuff, like the story I heard on NPR that made me sob all the way home last night... a story about a guy who found out his Mom was dying and got all these wonderful childhood stories from her before she died... and how it triggered such deep regret and sadness in me because I hadn't been able to do the same...

... or post about the frustrations of the holiday... like how my house looks like the Tansmanian Devil blew through it and how my Aunt has called me four times today... to get a recipe... to tell my my Gram fell but is ok... to ask me to print recipes from Dr. Phil off "the computer" because she's gotten so fat (her words, not mine)... and how you can get a free two weeks at Gold's Gym by saying you're a member of "Dr. Phil's Booty Club" (again, her words, not mine). I think there'd have to be alot more in it for me to say that aloud, to anyone, ever...

... or post about happy, fun, holiday stuff... like going to see "Irving Berlin's White Christmas" with Jenny, Aaron and Chuck... and then having the four of us bust into song spontaneously... "snow, snow, snow, snow"

I guess I've achieved all three.

Yesterday morning, I read a link on MSN called "Spoof alert: Online buyers beware." I hadn't heard the term "spoof email" before, it is where criminals send very official looking emails that appear to be from a reputable sight but are just a way to steal personal info. Last night I go in to my account dammit if I don't have two pretty convincing looking emails from security@citibank.com and security@ebay.com (ok, this one wasn't so convincing), both asking for info you shouldn't be asked for. The faux-Citibank email asked for my ATM and pin#... uh, I DON'T THINK SO! I checked both sites and sure enough, they were fraudulent.

Rat-bastard criminal spoofers.

ef, blasted sleeping problems... still awake...

Turns out there is a Bunny Museum in Pasadena. When you look a little closer, you realize it's not so much a museum as it is a house occupied by two crazy people who have collected more bunny paraphanalia than all the rest of the world combined. And I thought Jenny was a bunny hugger.

It gets stranger... they say on their site, "please do not bring the following into their home: no coats, no hats, no purses, nor bags". Isn't it just a little frightening that the people at the "Bunny Museum" expect you to be practically naked in order to view their collection of stuffed animals?

Overdose of sugar = up late, not tired.

Lack of blog... what have I been doing you ask? I've been shopping and shopping and shopping and then I shopped and I shopped and I shopped (inside joke reference to a Plymptoon that rang a little too close to home)

Great link to online coupons - styleforfree.com.

Sephora is offering a multitude of free gifties. I got the "Free Ultimate Goodie Bag" when I ordered stuff for my sis... gift code GIFT4U3... it was a cosmetic addicts dream.

Saks Fifth Avenue has some items that donate to VH1's Save The Music Foundation. I love the pink Burberry bucket hat as modeled here by Jewel... unfortunately, at $140, even though it's for a good cause, still much beyond a price within my spending habits.



Also checked out Presents for Purpose, which donates proceeds to various charities.

Roy told me about Cat Town today. I've seen some of the cat pictures before, but never the stories. Pretty hilarious.



And Jo sent this snowglobe link today too... after you've shaken it, stop, wait patiently, and watch closely for the girl who builds the snowman...

Bleh, full. Sis did Thanksgiving for the first time this year and her turkey was excellent! It's still very hard having a holiday without Mom, but last year my Aunt was 2 hours late and my Stepdad stormed out of the house, so at least this year, it was better.

She served pasta in addition to the traditional foods and had 4 pies for only 6 people. Is she Italian or what??!!

I got Mya to say "Ho Ho Ho", she's so damn cute and funny.

My Gram got on the phone with my brother (who's out in Vegas) and said, "Happy New Year!!", then cracked up at herself for 5 minutes... then, when I was asking her what kind of pie she wanted, I know she meant to say "cheesecake", but she actually said, "chicken", then we all cracked up again. She realizes she'll be hearing about that for a while.

Back from Hollywood, a place that is at times exciting and fun and at other times shallow and exclusionary. At least in Vegas, everyone at the nickel slots gets free drinks, even if you're broke and toothless.

But we stuck to the non-velvet-rope side of LA and with hubby, Jenny and Aaron able to be there too, I had a great time. Now we can all pine for In-N-Out Burger and Lola's Mac & Cheese together (except hubby, who doesn't get "the same way" about food as we do, though he did love the fries at In-N-Out).

My fave thing was driving the tiny winding canyon roads of the Hollywood Hills. It's like a puzzle... you just keep driving - clueless as to where you are or where you're going - until, after many turns, ascents and descents, you find yourself on a road you recognize, knowing exactly where you are. In some ways, much like life.

Feeling slightly better, as I get through the anniversary of the worst events of my life.

Been seeing movies, including "Love Actually", which I really enjoyed. It was a bit much with the cheating... and I didn't like the minimization of the fact that the kid's Mom had died (obviously), but overall it was very enjoyable. Not sure you can go wrong with Colin Firth and Hugh Grant. It IS true, those damn british accents are so appealing.

Also saw "Elf" tonight... very funny... I think Aaron and Will Ferrell went to the same school of face making.

and... drumroll please... Mya (my neice) took her first steps! Sis tells me that she walked, then clapped and screamed with joy... like she knows that everybody's just been WAITING for her to put on this "walking" show.

Today is Mom's birthday, she'd be 58. I keep dreaming that we "find" her and she's just been missing. Going in to this second year without her is turning out to be more difficult than the first. Apparently a common thing, not something I expected.

It's strange the way I've been feeling... it's like my mind has split in two and one half knows that I shouldn't think certain things or feel certain ways, but the other half just keeps thinking those thoughts and feeling those feelings. Like I have no control over my own psyche.

I'm afraid the reality is, I'm affected and I'm not sure I'm the same person I was. I'm not happy about it, Mom would hate to see me this way, but I can't seem to change it. I do know that if I didn't have such loving and understanding family and friends, I'd be done for.

FINALLY, Kodak is in the camera phone game - Kmobile is here! http://www.kmobile.com

It's Ofoto but for your phone pics. Last week (just using old fashioned Ofoto upload), I printed a few 4x6 prints of pics I took with my camera phone. All were a bit too pixelated for my taste, but the one I took of my sis and Mya, in bright, bright sunlight, that I printed wallet size, came out pretty damn good.

Here's link to my first album:
View Photos

Sorry no blogs of late, I just don't have the energy. I'm drained from all the terrible thoughts in my mind and I cannot turn them off. I didn't expect the anniversary to have such a profound effect on me, I didn't think things could get worse. I was wrong.

I used to wonder how anyone could commit suicide (no, I'm not suicidal, I'm just making a point)... I used to think... just move away, change your life, it can always get better. Silly, naive me. Now I know, no matter where you go, you can't escape your thoughts.

Was in LA last week... mix a fragile emotional state with the opportunity to eat food-you-can't-get-at-home and top it all off with the fact that it's on the company tab, and you, my friend, have a climate ripe for complete gluttony.

A sampling of what I ate:
Banana Berry @ Jamba Juice
Double Double w/fries @ In-n-Out burger
homebaked mac & cheese (twice) @ Lola's
Gnocchi @ Ago

all worth every calorie...

When Mom went in to the hospital, she was VERY scared and thought she was going to die. We told her not to talk crazy. I wish I'd let her talk about it. I wish I'd said...

What kind of flowers do you want on your grave?

What should we do on your birthday?

If you can see me from heaven, try to let me know.

I know you don't want me to be sad, but I love you more than anything in this world and I will think of you and miss you every day for the rest of my life.