Itty Bitty Elephants

I found an article on the web (apparently from Weekly World News) that claims some Russian scientist found a way to splice mouse genes into elephant genes and create tiny elephants. And they're all the rage in California at only $350.

The article says they "provide hours of fun with hilarious antics such as:
- Butting their little heads in fights.
- Letting out squeaky "roars."
- Using their trunks to pick up pennies, pins and matchsticks.
- Stampeding in panic from "threats" such as vacuum cleaners."

Dr.Muskovic says they should be available nationwide by spring and predicts "every little boy and girl in America is going to want one."

I know it's a load of crap, but I WANT ONE!!!

More Bad Male Prostitute Names

All inspired by food:
Puddin'
Jello
Soft Serve
Slim Jim (credit: Jenny)

Well Hello Big Mac!

While helping Jenny at her new house last night - munching on Wendy's takeout - the topic came up about the male brothel in England that had closed down. Apparently, the men weren't asking for payment up front, so when it came time to fork over cash, the women would only pay what they thought the men were worth. Thus driving the brothel to bankruptcy.

From there, inspired by the mention of the word "tiny" and in turn, the "BIGGIE" french fry box, we ended up coming up with nicknames you would NOT want if you worked in a male brothel and nicknames you WOULD want if you worked in a male brothel.

Nicknames you would NOT want if you worked in a male brothel:
- Tiny
- Stubby
- Pee Wee

Nicknames you WOULD want if you worked in a male brothel:
- Mr. Big
- Biggie
- Big Mac
- Whopper
- Chalupa
- Snake (inspired by the topic of fixing the drain)

Basically, the whole fast food ordering system would probably work well for a male brothel. The women could drive up and say, "I'd like a Whopper meal and please super-size it."

FBPOTM

My favorite beauty product of the moment is my Shu Uemura eyelash curler. I got it for Christmas from my brother and sister-in-law. It got me stopped by airport security, but it was well worth it. It's a great little tool, every girl should have one.

That Cat Hates Moby

Tonight I read in Rolling Stone that Moby had to be hospitalized after being bitten by a stray cat he tried to pet. I sent him the link to mycathatesyou.com. Obviously, the cat that bit him hates him and his music*.

*the opinions expressed by hateful cats in no way reflect the opinions of the owner of this blog

My Cat Hates You

Natalie posted the link to this website, mycathatesyou.com. I think it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Here's an example of what you'll find:


"Louie hates you to the core. Not even cute stuffed animals escape his wrath..."

Nutty Diet Plan

Peanut butter is a hot topic recently. First I read about peanut butter slices, then I read about research that shows that eating peanut butter can help you lose weight AND lower your cholesterol!

I think it works because you feel more satiated and full. Even the men's magazines are talking about it (side note: the fact that Men's magazines discuss diet issues is both disturbing and deeply rewarding at the same time).

There's a woman's version of the diet on iVillage, though it includes other stuff like olive oil and peanut oil. Not quite the "eat a tablespoon full of peanut butter on top of a miniature chocolate bar" diet that I was hoping for, oh well.

All I know is, I'll be having pb&j (that's reduced fat peanut butter on light wheat bread with a teaspoon of jelly) every day until my clothes fit comfortably again.

There's also a book, The Peanut Butter Diet (of course) available on Amazon..

Funny Girl

One example of why Jenny is so funny... In a discussion about having judges for our food contests we do at work (for example, Cookiepalooza), Jenny was making the argument for allowing everyone to vote on a winner vs. having designated judges. Here's what she said, in a matter of fact tone:

"Let's say you have three judges and two of them don't like nuts - you're little nut cookies are screwed!"

Focus, Focus, Focus

I'm having the same problem as Joel, I'm having trouble focusing on work.

I will have been gone 5.5 of the first 10 weeks of the year. Brasil took up two and soon I'm off to Vegas (for vacation) and Salt Lake City (for work). Then, after being home for 4 days, I head to Orlando for a kiosk convention. I know it all sounds great, but let me weigh the pros and cons.

:: Vegas ::

PROS: time with hubby; nickel slots at the Hard Rock Hotel (if I can get anyone to go there with me); potential celebrity sightings; get to visit with Eddie & Christina (brother and sister-in-law who live there); Sephora; abundant cheap food

CONS: going with the in-laws who aren't in to going to clubs or even gambling for that matter; in-laws will have control of the rental car; won't be hot (maybe 50s); Eddie will have gotten back surgery 5 days before I arrive so he'll be no fun; I've been to Vegas MANY times (even lived there for 3 years) - so I've already seen it all; abundant cheap food = Tina becomes a fatty fat fat

:: Salt Lake City ::

PROS - ok, it's the Olympics, that's very cool; Chucky's going too; pretty scenery; maybe sunny; free abundant food at the hotel; potential celebrity sightings (though sports celebrities don't excite me)

CONS - will be working the whole time; will spend at least 2 hours/day travelling from Park City to Salt Lake; it's going to be COLD; I probably won't get to see even a single event; going snowboarding seems out of the question; most of my time will be spent many miles away from the free abundant food; and even if I DO happen to see Ben Affleck chatting with Tara Lipinski, I'll be a dweeb bundled up in Kodak clothing

:: Orlando ::

PROS: warm and sunny (maybe)

CONS: conference the whole time; there alone; don't think I'll have a car so stuck in the vicinity of hotel; no time to go to Disney or SeaWorld but can't afford it anyway


OK, not saying I'd trade it (though I would pass up Orlando if it wasn't going so applicable to my current project and potentially career enhancing), but it's certainly not all wine and roses.

I suppose on some level I'm being granted these opportunities for "fun" because in April, the fun level drops significantly when I have to have an incision into my uterus via my bellybutton. Aaagh!

Box of Snakes

Funny story. As Sophia, Daniela, Chuck and I were leaving the beach house (in Brasil), Daniela's Mom (Charlotte) handed Chuck a box and said, "Here's a box of snakes for your trip." Chuck was taken aback, wondering if there was a little know Brasilian custom to travel with snakes for good luck. He hesitated to take the box... Charlotte saw the look on his face and said, "snacks! I meant a box of snacks!" Chuck was relieved, took the box, and we munched on snakes for the 3 hour ride to the city.

It's finally a bit bright out today, not the dismal grey it had been since we got back from Brasil. Luckily I can still envision my feet in the sand and the sound of the water lapping at my heels.

So since this is the Daily Bite, it's really only appropriate to pay homage to some of the yummy foods we had in Brasil:

Mandioca Fritas, fried yucca root
Alot like french fries but better, because yucca root is a bit stringier and each little stringy piece gets fried to a golden, crunchy crisp.
Mmmm. This was my personal favorite, so I tried to find yucca root at Weggies, with no luck as of yet.

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Brigadeiros (chocolatey, fudgey, and very sweet)... mmm...

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Bolo de Rolo (Jellyroll with guava)... we had a homemade version, with very thin layers rolled tightly. We nicknamed it "the arm", because to carry the cake all wrapped up in foil was like carrying an arm around... long and heavy. It was very tasty.

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PÃO DE QUEIJO (cheese breads)... something about these little balls was irresistable, at the beach house they made them fresh and I think I ate about 15 of them.

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Dammit, now I'm hungry and craving cheese breads!

Oi! Como vai voce?

We're back from Brasil. It was great! Daniela's family was incredibly hospitable and fun. Almost too much to talk about, so I'll condense things...

After the maniacle drive from the airport (think passing on a double yellow on curvy single lane roads), the first week was spent at the beach. Remarkable scenery - lush, tropical mountains set against a white sand beach with rolling blue waves. I don't think there is any place in the US other than Hawaii as lush as Brasil. We walked the beach (2+ miles) almost every day. New Year's Eve was incredible. We all wore new white clothes and after a fabulous dinner put on by Daniela's family, we all walked down to the beach. At midnight, everyone kissed each other on the cheek and wished each other Feliz Ano-novo, then we drank champagne, waded into the water a bit, made a wish and jumped 7 waves. Then we backed out of the water. There was a slight mishap with the fireworks, what was supposed to be a half hour show turned into a 3 minute explosion (the first one fell into the others and all went off at once), but other than that, the evening was incredible.

After the beach, we went to Sao Paulo for a day, then off to the country house for the weekend. The country house was beautiful, they grow abacaxi (pineapple), bananas, sugar cane and many other exotic things. Hopefully I'll have some great pix eventually.

The last few days were spent in the city, which is a sight to see! Getting to the city was an incredible experience. The roads wind up through the foliage covered mountains and you wonder how the hell they built these roads into the mountains. Then you begin to see the city... soon your entire view is high rises - as far as the eye can see. Like NYC, Chicago, and LA combined! In the city we relaxed, played Buraco (a Brazilian card game similar to Gin) and did a little sightseeing and shopping.

Overall, an incredible experience and wonderful vacation! I'll add more detailed accounts later, hopefully with pictures...