Crazy Aunt

Have I ever mentioned that I have a crazy Aunt? I think she was normal at one point in life (if you call taking the doll clothes my Mom had stolen from the five and dime and sneaking them back into the store normal), but then she got in a very bad car accident, almost died, and had to learn to walk and talk all over again. Since then, she has been a little off, in the I-bought-you-a-singing-stuffed-rose kind of way.

So the other night, in the middle of the night, 3am-ish, she went to Wegmans to buy hot dogs for the next day. When she got home, she found that she could not get her coat unzipped. This I can relate to - I have a puffy coat and a puffy vest from the Gap that have gotten stuck before. Once Jenny & Aaron had to fight with my pocket zipper - of which my cell phone was trapped - for over a half hour before my phone was freed. I haven't zipped the pocket since...

so anyway, it was 3:30am and Aunt Del was stuck in her coat. A normal person might decide to sleep in the coat and deal with it in the morning, but not a Crazy Aunt. Crazy Aunt heads out to the nearest police station for help. She couldn't find a doorbell at the police station, so she went to the fire station. They had a doorbell. She rang it (remember, it's about 4am now). A fireman opened the door and she said, "I can't get my coat unzipped".

I'm sure this fireman was thinking one of two things... a) this lady is crazy or b) this lady has been watching too much late night cable and is trying to get lucky. Either way, I'm sure he was worried. So he woke up his partner and another Firefighter showed up, bleary eyed and sleepy.

Together, they tried to unzip her coat, but couldn't get it. They pulled out the heavy artilery (pliers) and freed my Aunt from the confines of her puffy coat... and sent her on her way.

I couldn't make this up if I tried.