Vegas Baby!

Had a great trip to Vegas last week with Jenny. Celebrated my Brother's birthday. Shopped alot. Saw, "Menopause, the Musical" (thanks to free tix from bro - it was cute).

Also went to In-N-Out Burger. If there were an In-N-Out Burger here in Rochester, I would be FAT. Not PHAT, but straight up FAT. And I wouldn't care, because those burgers are soul food and I'd rather have a happy soul than a small ass.

We met my brother there and as we stood just inside the door, couldn't find him anywhere. Finally, after about 5 minutes, we saw this - just the top half of his beanie'd head peeking over a seat - as he wondered why we weren't coming over to him. For some reason, this was hilarious.

So, about my brother. He is not your average person. He is different in so many ways, I can't even begin to explain. For starters, he is a CHARACTER. Always telling stories, always making people laugh (when he's not violently angry and beating someone up). Always having weird things happen to him (like the time he got robbed at gunpoint but still "swooped" the guy, then kicked him and almost got shot).

He drives a cab in Vegas - which to me is one of the coolest jobs - and perfect for him - because he's such a people person and racks up the stories. He told Jenny and I one summarization of his experiences. He says that "married women from 25-35 are the worst"... "I have a pulse. I say in shape. they're tipsy. It's 4am, it's a little dark, does me a little justice..." in other words, they hit on him alot... but his delivery, just too funny.

Looks like we might be back in Vegas in January too!

F*ing Bumper

Fucking bumper!

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BACKSTORY:
My brother just sent me this photo of his bumper.

When I was out visiting him in LV in January, he had an "incident". He has an automatic starter on his truck so that he can get the air conditioning going early. But it's a manual transmission. So he leaves it in neutral.

Well, we thought I might go somewhere, so he left it in 1st for me.

Later, when WE went to go somewhere together, he clicked on his automatic starter as we were walking up to the truck. Suddenly, the truck lurched forward about 4 feet. We both stood there, in shock for a minute or two - when suddenly, it lurched forward AGAIN, another 4 feet, into a small retaining wall just past the sidewalk. In the shock of the first "jump", my brother had forgotten that the auto starter tries again.

This time he jumped in, put the truck in neutral, then started it and backed up off the retaining wall and sidewalk, back into the parking spot.

When he got out and assessed the damage, the bumper had been slightly pulled. He managed to snap it back into place, but the gap between the bumper and the body is slightly larger than it should be. What I like to call the only-noticable-to-him gap.

So all he can ever say about it, in disgust, is: "Fucking Bumper" - and we both laugh at the ridiculous stupidity of the whole thing.