At the Golden Gate Bridge - brrr

Shawn Cassidy was in my dream last night, looking exactly as he did in 1978. He was my first big crush. Until Andy Gibb came along and stole my heart.

Last week, as I'm driving to work, I notice a spider hanging from my side mirror, clinging on for dear life. Part of me is rooting for him but most of me is accelerating faster and faster to get him to blow off! Then floomp, he crawls up into the mirror, safe and sound. Push him down a little and he's easily the size of a dime, ie, big.

The next day, no spider. Can't decide whether I'm relieved or disappointed.

Friday I notice a fresh web. He's still here. Arrive at work, there he is, hanging down from the mirror and I think, did he really hold on the whole way? Through my 72mph driving? Holy crap, that's a super spider. Then, floomp, he crawls up into the mirror.

The real horrific part is that HE could be a SHE and in some short time, my car will be swarming with little spiders. For sanity sake, I resolve to believe it's a he.

As I get in my car after work, I begin to wonder if he might find his way inside my car. I'd feel this tapping on my shoulder and hear, "hey, nice digs in here... leather... niiiiccce" as he rubs his hairy little legs across the seat.

Then I think I see something out of the corner of my eye - AAGH! Nothing. Then I think I feel something on my foot. AAAGGHH! Nothing. I conclude that I am being parachnoid (paranoid of arachnids).

As I come out to my car the next day, I see a fresh web yet again from mirror to door. Ugh, he's still here. But I get in the car and - AAAAAGGGGHHHHH - there is a web built from my steering wheel to the dash. My nightmare has come true. I wasn't paranoid, he WAS in my car. Somewhere. Hiding. Waiting. Determining the best time to jump out at me. I can see it now, caught driving recklessly, "well Officer, a spider jumped out at me".

If I Raid my car, I'll probably do more damage to myself than the spider. He'll just find a way out and go, "aaah, fresh air", while I'm inside choking.

Well, he can have my car for the next few days while I'm out of town, but after that, I am RECLAIMING MY CAR and my SANITY!

more on this later

In Excess

Hubby and I are totally hooked on the show Rock Star: INXS. It's American Idol but dirtier, hipper, and cooler songs. I can barely resist the urge to pull out my black eyeliner, dig out my studded writstbands, make my hair REALLY big, and dust off my Iron Maiden albums...

I was pleasantly surprised at how well the guys in INXS have held up, a couple of them still look pretty hot for old guys (in denial that they may be dangerously close to my own age). Quite a different story over at Celebrity Fit Club. Imagine my shock and disgust to see Jani Land of Warrant all chubby and boring looking. Not that he was a prize back then, but what has to go wrong in your world to end up on Celebrity Fit Club? Ugh, and Willie Ames. Charles was in Charge, but Willie was in the kitchen.

This birthday calculator is silly but fun. For me it said,

"There are 126 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 37 candles on it. Those 37 candles produce 37 BTU's, or 9 food calories. You can boil 4.23 US ounces of water with that many candles."

ouch, babe.

Then it said, "Of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritable and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self-confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner."

Ah, horoscopes, they're just so magical (read: sarcasm)

Name and Fortune

Jenny and I were at Michael's the other night & spotted yarns from Moda Dea - whose website Natalie designed - and loved the cool yarns. And they had awesome names, like Fur Ever, Jai Alai, Chichi, and Vixen, whose name alone made we want to buy enough to knit every call girl in Vegas a dish cloth.

Then I was online-window-shoe-shopping to feed my combo shopping/internet addiction and realized all the shoes have cutsie names too, like Smurfs, Truffle, Smooch, and Tiki Bar.

Who has these jobs - naming yarns, naming shoes, naming lipstick, naming nail polish? It seems easy, but is it? How many ways can you describe pink?

I want to be a namer. I think I'd be a good namer. I'd have to go places to get inspired. Like the zoo. But then I'd probably end up naming some pink nail polish "Baboon Bum" or "Piggy Pants".

"If, as you live your life, you find yourself mentally composing blog entries about it, post this exact same sentence in your weblog."

I do, but then I forget, or I get nervous that I'll write and offend someone. But mostly I forget. Blasted aging.

The husband is ideal. The friends are extraordinary. The work can be enjoyable. The family is...

AAAAGGGHHHH! That's where things go awry. The family is challenging.

Somebody get me a drink, or grab me my credit card, or give me some Zantac, or let me sleep all day, or turn on some ridiculous reality tv, or tell me a joke, or feed me some Krispy Kremes, or give me a punching bag with my brother-in-laws face on it. Hurry.

Off the Wagon

Holy Overeating Batman! The special events over the past couple days have offered a plethera of tempting treats and sent my resolve to eat good into the toilet.

Though delicious, Marie's Rasperry Vinaigrette dressing on romaine is no match for cake, peanut butter cookies and Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip.

Tomorrow I will get back to fruit & veggies & chicken or I'll have to buy a new wardrobe to support my new friends - the extra 10 pounds that I've been hanging out with lately.

Block Aid

I am so having writers block. My apologies. I need to focus and pick something to blog about every day, like "TV Moment of the Day".

Last night I was jumping back and forth between I Want To Be a Hilton and AFI Top 100 Movie Quotes. I didn't watch all 100 movie quotes, but it sure made me want to rent Casablanca.

One of my personal favorites is "there's no crying in baseball" - I love Tom Hanks in that scene from A League of Their Own. I also love Tom Hanks in the scene from Turner & Hooch where he's rolling around with the dog in his skivvies. Did I mention I also had a crush on Ritchie Cunningham (Ron Howard) when I was young. What can I say, red hair and freckles were my tall, dark & handsome.

Vacation Elation

Back from a very wonderful vacation in the Outer Banks. Wild horsed, wild dolphins, and great company!

I can't even describe how insanely excited I was to have dolphins show up very close as we were boogie boarding. I pee'd myself (which was ok, because it's the ocean - already filled with lots of fish pee and God knows what else). You see, "my name is Tina, and I am a Dolphin Fanatic." From the early years watching Flipper to nearly moving across the country, away from friends and family, to go to SDSU to become a Marine Biologist (I STILL kick myself for not doing that), it's been a long love affair.

The next day, the dolphins appeared even closer. I got defiantly brave, ran into the water, determined to have a life altering experience interacting with wild dolphins, only to find that the tide made the water quite a bit deeper than I expected, causing a flash back - me, six years old, fingers clenched across my face, spread just enough to peek through, watching the horror that was JAWS - and with that, I chickened out and ran/swam back to shore. Damn you Steven Spielberg, damn you!

As we left yesterday, driving along the beach, to everyone's delight we were escorted along by a particularly playful pair. I think the OBX Visitor's Association trained them to do this to make sure people come back year after year. Very effective!

Having a great vacation! Dolphins were very close as we were boogie boarding yesterday - seventh heaven.

Challenged

Jenny & I "ran" the Corporate Challenge last night. Ran = run a little, walk alot, run a little, walk alot. Yep, made it in just under record time (record time for the Boston Marathon maybe).

I really hate running. I'd rather ride my bike hundreds of miles rather than run a mile. I just did it for the t-shirt and free food.

Speaking of the t-shirt, Jenny created the winning design for Kodak and as we were all cheering for her, they snapped my pic and it made their website. I'm just glad I don't look like a complete dork, because 4 out of 5 dentists think I do look like a dork in most pictures (luckily, they say I look quite normal in person).

Free Philosophy

Thinking I was going to get all existential on you? I'm lucky I can spell existential. But free beauty products, now that's enough to enlighten anyone.

"The "featured products" were basically men's skin care stuff - shave kits and cologne.

.

Happy Anniversary

Hub sent me roses from Arena's today for our 14th anniversary. I'm a lucky girl.

May the Force be With You as You Dream

Saw Star Wars last night, so I am no longer uncool. Or am I hiply nerdish? Either way, HELLO DARTH VADER! Mmmm, could have used a few more scenes of young Skywalker waking up from a bad dream. I, on the other hand, woke up this morning from a good dream in which I was hugging Anakin. Damn you evil alarm clock! I knew you were from the DARK SIDE!

Drive-In, Pig Out

Went to the drive-in this weekend with my sis and Mya. It was a candy-covered-fried-food frenzy. Combine cheap prices, comfort food and limited access and something clicks in my brain that leaves me a danger to myself and others.

Even though Jenny says I'm a "food exaggerator" (as in, "I ate sooo much yesterday" when I only ate a hot dog and a half of a watermelon), I am not exaggerating the indulgence that occurred at the drive-in.

Here's what I really ate: 3/4 of a slice of pizza (all would have been mine if not for mini-me (Mya) who also loves junk food), not much of a gallon size coke, a bite of a s'more cookie, half a box of Butterfinger Bites*, 3/4 of a cheeseburger (again, the rest given up to mini-me), a bite of a hot dog, and 1/2 a thing of fries.

Now you may be thinking... not too bad considering it's the drive-in and all... but all this came AFTER a dinner of steak and potatoes. And especially this coming from someone who was on track to wear a swimsuit next week - all week I ate chicken, salads, mushrooms, fruit, chicken, tuna, cheese and almonds. But get me behind the wheel of a car while in front of a movie screen and **SNAP**, bikini-body-bye-bye!

*Note: These were worth every last calorie and then some!

Self Conscious

As I entered my Little Gram's Senior Living Apartment Building this week, there was a group of blue-hairs sitting outside chatting it up with each other. For some reason, this was extremely intimidating to me. Why on earth should I be intimidated? This is a key question I need to address in therapy.

Here's the conversation in my head and the scenario - you be the judge if I'm crazy or not...

[me thinking] OMG, there's a whole group of them, they're going to stare at me.

[them, chattering]

[me getting closer]

[them looking]

[me thinking] OMG, they're looking at me! Am I walking funny? Should I look? Should I smile?

[them, suddenly completely silent, all staring]

[me, slight smile]

[me thinking] AAAGGGHHHH! I've silenced them. The moment I'm out of earshot, they're going to spend the next 15 minutes talking about me. AAAAGGGHHHH!

[me, turning the corner, thinking] Finally, I made it through. Whew!

[SUDDENLY, more blue hairs!! All staring also! ]

[One deranged looking man with Charles Manson crazy hair]: "HI!!"

[me thinking] OMG, don't upset him, be nice.

[me] "Hi."

[me, walking faster] I hope he heard me and didn't think I was rude.

[me getting inside the building] AAAGGHHHH! Just let me get up to the safety of my Grandma's apartment. No more crazy staring blue-hairs and no more old-person smell. AAAAGGHHH.

Oh, the traumatic life I lead.