Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Family Fun

Visiting with my Grandmother and Aunt Del - as I did on Monday night - without fail includes these three things:

1) definite insistance that I've lost weight

GRAM: you look like you've lost weight
ME: no, I definitely haven't
GRAM: [disgusted look of disbelief]
[10 minutes later]
GRAM: you look like you've lost weight honey
ME: no, actually I've gained 3 pounds since the last time I saw you, you can see it in my hips
GRAM: no, you've lost weight
[then I give up the debate, better her telling me I look thinner than I look "pouchy"]

2) insistance to eat more

GRAM: have a turkey sandwich honey
AD: what do you want to drink?
ME: I have water with my Crystal Light
AD: I have flavored seltzer water
ME: I have my drink
GRAM to AD: get Tina some of that soda
ME: I have my Crystal Light
GRAM: you need ice
ME: no, I used cold water
AD: have some Ambrosia Salad, I got regular and strawberry
ME: ok, I'll have a little
GRAM: are you going to have another sandwich Honey?
ME: I will Gram, just having a little ambrosia salad
[2 minutes go by]
GRAM: have another sandwich Honey
ME: I'm going to Gram [eat a second turkey sandwich]
AD: have some cheese and crackers Teen
ME: no thanks, I'm getting full
GRAM: have some cheese and crackers Honey
ME: no thanks Gram, getting full
GRAM: that's meunster cheese there
ME: oh
AD: I have Sugar Free Klondike Bars, want one?
ME: no thanks, having a sugar free klondike bar is like having [I stop myself before saying something gutterish to my Grandmother and very religious Aunt]

3) 20 compliments with 20 questions

AD: I love your coat, where did you get it?
ME: Banana Republic
AD: How much was it?
ME: About $79 - it was on sale.
AD: What was the original price?
ME: About $250
AD: Wow, that's a good deal.
[10 seconds or so]
AD: I love those boots, where did you get them?
ME: Kaufmanns
AD: How much were they?
ME: About $55 on sale

[To which I started rattling off info about all elements of my wardrobe, including my Hanky Panky underwear. I added that I am going to start showing up with those gigantic price tags attached to all my clothes like they do in the magazines.]

We had a good laugh.


Shauna said...

Tina- I discovered your blog through LJC and I just wanted to let you know I think you're a riot. The bunch of you are so cute. And I can totally sympathize...when my grandmother isn't pointing out the fact that I've gained weight, she's giving me hershey's kisses. She lives with me (at home not at school!) so I can always count on her to have food when we don't. Not good.

And if I hung out with you, I'd probably be asking about your clothes all the time too. Like I said before, y'all are SO CUTE. =c )

LTR said...

Hi, Tina - OMG! Your grandmother is my mother!
Mom: Eat, I made xyz.
Me: I am not hungry.
Mom: Just a little, try it - it's good.
Me: No, I am really not hungry.
Mom: How about some abc, then?
ME; no, thanks.
Mom: How about some xxx?
Me: no, really, Mom - I don't want anything.
Mom: Not even some xxx??
ME: (exasperated by now) : No, Mom, If I say no I mean no, nothing!! aaggh!!!!!!!

Enjoy your grandmother & aunt while you still have them. Take care. Oh, I discovered your blog thru LJC. I have to second Shauna's comment - you all are too cute. I love how you & JEnny discover all these cute things!