Monday, June 19, 2006

Lauren had to have a pH probe put in today to see how bad her reflux is. I don't think she really needed it because she's been alot better the last week or two, but the dr. wanted to go ahead.

So she had to have this wire tube thing down her nose into her esophogas and wear little arm restraints so she couldn't pull it out. It has to stay in for 24 hours. Things at the hospital always take so long that not only is the kid extremely agitated by being poked and prodded, she's starving.

So she was SCREAMING bloody murder - the Birth Control Cry - and would NOT be consoled. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The harder she cried, the more I began to cry.

Why can't I act like the over-35 adult that I should be? My therapist and I are working on that.


allison said...

I've been reading your blog since about the time of Lauren's arrival (found you through ljc). My heart goes out to you as I read about you guys having to put up with all sorts of testing. My daughter was diagnosed with a heart condition when she was 3 weeks old and though she's fine now, it seemed the drs wanted to test her for something every time she had a check-up. We didn't want her to endure more than she had to but we didn't want to not do a test that could be important. As she gets bigger, the drs will calm down, the check ups will get fewer and farther between, and little L won't remember the hospital or your crying. She'll just know that she's loved because you hold onto her afterwards.

Jennie said...

Goodness knows I've had my share of 34-year-old breakdowns right along with our bub. The nurses at the pediatrician's office tell me that blubbering post-visit mothers are *entirely* normal, though, so no worries!

justJENN said...

Hey, she's looking great, really!

Anonymous said...

If you ask me, you're acting exactly the way you should be! Any mother would be heartbroken having to go through that ordeal. As a mother you want to protect your precious little baby, and you must've felt helpless hearing her crying. Totally normal, totally expected, so please don't be hard on yourself :)

kaymaria said...

I'll tell you what I tell my mom when I've defended myself for crying (I cry at card tricks): You can be brave and still cry. YOU especially! You're in a situation that you have to trust the higher-ups and you can do little but be there, it's frustrating! AND you can't explain to Lauren what's going on so hearing her cry pushes ALL the buttons. Just have your own supply of tissues on hand, hospital tissues sound oh-so rough.

(Though if your therapist has any tips, PLEASE send them my way. The tears do get old at times.)

Anonymous said...

Hang in there T.
love, ab