italian sausage (the real deal, not turkey sausage)
tootsie rolls
creme filled caramels
tortilla chips
zweigle hot dogs
roast beef
potatoes with gravy

... what is this list, you ask? This is some of food that my Mother-in-Law has for us while we're visiting the 1000 Islands... AFTER Chuck told her we were trying to eat healthy! I hate to think what we'd be eating if we hadn't said anything.

The thing is, I'm all for falling off the wagon for the weekend, but I want to do it on my own terms... eat the food I deem worth the calories... such as a Pellegrinos Buffalo Chicken Sub or a box of frozen Faux Hos or Pontillos pizza washed down with a Venti Mocha Frapuccino or KFC (and so on)... Now that I put it that way, her offerings do seem relatively healthy!

Here's my damn luck. My in-laws finally get their boat in the water up here (1000 Islands) and what happens? The tempurature plummets and it's practically ready to SNOW! The 90 degree weekends are gone, replaced by a very chilly 60 - not my idea of boating weather.

On top of that, I am itchy and bitchy. Curs-ed ragweed!

Watched the Mtv Video Music Awards last night - as I have for the last 20 years. So contrived, but I'm a sucker for these things. I love to see the fashion -or lack of it. Seriously, Missy Elliot's stylist should be tarred and feathered - what the hell was that not-so Ghetto Fabulous Golf outfit she was wearing????

Mo Rocca was just on tv talking about Johnny Cash not winning more VMAs. He said, "alot of the kids don't know who Johhny Cash is. They think it's slang for hooker money."

BAH HAH HAH.

Oh, and incase you missed it, Madonna kissed Britney and Christina. Shocker [said with dripping sarcasm].

Currently, I am finding Mo Rocca to be hilarious... He's on a new show on CourtTV called The Smoking Gun, a satire of law and forensics. And, of course, I love The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, where he got his start. I tried to win the couch, alas, to no avail. I don't win things in contests.

I don't think I explained my last post thoroughly. The second pic shows the model without her hair styled, thus the reason it doesn't look good. To see her with it styled, go to the Loreal Professional site.

I thought it sounded good because, though I can use products (yes, I use Pantene Pro-V), a blowdryer, and a flatiron to get my hair straight and smooth... this would make that process go ALOT faster... and let me sleep longer, and probably protect me from turning back into a frizzhead at the slightest sign of rain or humidity.

But I'm not suggesting to take these things lightly (if you're obsessed with hair like me)... you should do research, hear real first-hand accounts, find an experienced stylist before deciding to do them. After all, this is OUR HAIR, it's with us all day, every day. It's not the same as deciding to try the new Mod fashion trend, deciding you look silly, and returning the white go-go boots a week later.

X-tenso to the Rescue

In my ever present quest to have straighter, less frizzy hair, I found the latest and greatest hair technology, X-tenso. It is a "long lasting smoothing process" that "allows you to style hair more easily and quickly, reduce volume and relax the curls, have a healthier, more supple texture, increase shine and have long lasting smoothness."

Dull, frizzy hair? Have no fear, X-tenso is here!

Timesaver - yes! Suppleness - yes! Smoothness - yes! Shine - jackpot! Sign me up!

... alas, they don't do it in the US yet as far as I can tell... but with Toronto nearby, I may yet save my hair's soul.

Before and After-but-before-styling...



To see the final, straight, smooth hair, go to the Loreal Professional site

Flash Mobs

So apparently, these mobs are all the rage. A bunch of poeple get an e-mail and are asked to go to a specific place, at a specific time, and they get instructions on what to do. Sounds pretty interesting, right? Now here's the not-so-appealing part... the "mob" has to do something silly, such as pretend to worship the giant Dinosaur in the Times Square Toys 'R Us. Then dispurse.

I'm not sure if it's a true global social phenomenon or just a bunch of techie geeks trying to be cool (not that there's anything wrong with that). Either way, there's no way in hell am I going to stand in a mall and act like a robot. I can look like a big enough dweeb all on my own, thanks.

Check out Cheesebikini for more in depth info.

Guster sent a newsletter that said, among other things...

"Those of you with well-endowed cable packages should watch for some upcoming appearances on MTV2... we're taping our first-ever guest VJ segment for them this weekend -- to air, sometime... "

Hmmm, I will never think of my cable quite the same way again.

BLACKout 2003

I love how the news goes over the top with everything these days. How, within hours (probably with some poor soul running his MAC on a generator), they can still come up with a title font and catchy event name to create drama. **Duhn, duhn, duhn** BLACKOUT 2003.

We lost power for about 4 hours. I was in a panic... "save the eggs, I have to have my scrambled eggs in the morning!!! Cook up the chicken and the sausages and the bacon... eat the ice cream, for the love of God - EAT THE ICE CREAM!!!"... all this as hubby sat there all relaxed, reading his golf magazine... He finally got up and gathered flashlights... comes in from the garage and says, "here, you can wear this" as he hands me a miner's headlamp from his hunting gear...

He was only slightly smug when the lights popped back on at 8:45, "see, I told you everything would be fine."

Duh

I don't know if it's the heat or what, but lately Jenny and I have been prone to saying stooopid things. Here are some examples:

Jenny [to the lunch crowd], "I need to go home tonight and lawn the mow..."

Me [to Jenny] "oooh, that meat is going to turn ranchid" (meant to say either raunchy or rancid)

Jenny [to a coworker/client from Atlanta], "It was good to see you, sorry you didn't recognize me"

Me [to crowd at coworker's going away party], "and once, when Jack first started at Kodak.com, Cindy was eating a melon and she cut it, and it flew into his lap *heh, heh* and um, Jack, what did you say????" [Jack, put on the spot, looks at me blankly]... so I retort, "well, aahhhh, yeah, it was really funny."

DUH!

... So in my attempt to push Jenny's buttons this afternoon, after sending a note to aforementioned coworker/client in Atlanta, I say to Jenny, "hey, sorry you didn't recognize me"

To which she replies, "yeah, and then the melon flew in to his lap..."

Touche Costco! (Family Guy reference) Maybe stupidity is contagious. In which case, Jenny and I are pulling each other into a swirling vortex of idiocy. Woohoo!

Cow says.... eet more chikun... and that's what Jenny and I have been doing. We are addicted to Sesame Chicken at The King and I - a local Thai restaurant. We've gone there about 6x in the past few weeks... they're starting to recognize us... pretty soon, we'll be walking in the door and they will say, "aaaah, Jenny and Tina, you're Sesame Chicken is waiting for you"... and along with eating the best meal on earth, we will have immediate gratification and satisfaction. mmmmmmm....

Dammit, I should be asleep... instead, I am WIDE awake. Seriously, I think the Thai coffee I had at lunch had crack in it.

Spotting Celebs

I want to clarify some things about my hobby of trying to spot celebs... it seems that with the way I talk about it, one would tend to think I'm a crazy autograph-picture-oh-my-God-I-love-you hound... my brother and Joel, in particular, eluded to this... but then I realized... they don't know how I act when I see them because they never see me seeing them, especially since I very rarely actually see them.

Sooo... the reality is... I do not make a scene, in fact the opposite - I make a conscious effort not to appear to even notice them. I don't stare, I don't talk to them (unless the natural situation would call for it as with any person), I don't ask for their autograph, I don't ask to take a picture... I just think it's cool to SEE them in an everyday setting.

Granted, I did get my picture with Steve Young, but that was only after Tom (the photographer) ignored my plea NOT to ask for a picture (not that I'm upset... I LOVE this picture =)

Jury Duty Free for Four Years

So now I know why people hate Jury Duty. You have to park downtown, which sucks and costs $$ that you don't get reimbursed for and then you have to walk by vagrants and beggars hoping you don't get mugged... and THEN, once you make it into the court building safely, you are confronted with vagrants and beggars who have already been arrested and are on trial and are staring you down as you walk around with your little "be nice to me, I'm a juror who will determine your fate" sticker. And you'd better hope I've had my morning coffee, or your ass is grass.

But no one had to incur my wrath, alas, I didn't get picked for a jury. And the coffee was pretty damn good.

Confident Metrosexual

Jenny and I have been throwing around the term Metrosexual. We have a couple friends who are borderline (Bi-metro?). Reactions are interesting... from acknowledgement to pride to "no way, that's for sissies". Here's the bottom line guys... if you think that all it would take is a facial and a pedicure to make you gay, you may be teetering on the brink already.

Be confident in your manhood already and get those pores cleaned up!

Tina's Tip of the Day

Jersey Duty

I have to report for Jury Duty tomorrow. I was talking with my Gram last night... told her I had J.D. coming up... chatted some more... was saying bye and she said, "Have fun in Jersey." Classic. We both had a good laugh after I explained.

Unlike others, who groan, "uughhh, Jury Duty"... I kind of look forward to it. Then again, the last case I was on was a civil case. Not sure I'd want to be on a criminal case where, after the trial, the criminal you just convicted can hop on the elevator with you (that actually almost happened to hubby - the criminal's lawyer stopped the guy)... besides, got things going on this week... and I don't know if I can be fair, after all, I'm an angry little gumball* these days.



*Jenny and I saw this ad in a mag... we are both, in fact, at various points in the day, angry little gumballs.

I've taken note and predicted the rise of popularity in men's grooming products and services. Well now there's an official term for straight men who are in to primping and pampering (ie, facials, manicures, pedicures, hair product, skin care... all that stuff we ladies have been entrenched in for years).

They're now called "Metrosexuals". My hubby's one, he takes good care of himself.

The article says: Metrosexual men "are very secure in their sexuality", "They're comfortable getting a facial or a pedicure. It doesn't make them feel any less masculine or any less heterosexual."

Sooo.. for all those guys that put down grooming, me thinks ye protesteth too much.