Birthday Girl

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!!

I can't believe you're 3 today! I can't tell you how much Momma and Daddy love you!!

PS - I'm sure you will be asking for your own cell phone soon. The answer is no.

Happy Birthday Girlie!

I can't believe our little girl turns 3 tomorrow! It seems like yesterday that I was laying in a hospital bed - after 5 weeks of the same - watching her heart rate drop as I contracted, 11 weeks from her due date, only to be wheeled away the next morning for an emergency C-section.

I'm sure I will relive those days, both before and after her birth, each year on her birthday. One does not soon forget when you come so close to losing both your baby and your own life (though at least I was out cold for it - can't say the same for hubby & Jenny & others!)

So, NO, I'm NOT having any more kids!!

But this one, my God, she's a keeper. She's very chatty, a little on the "peanut" side, but otherwise, luckily, a very normal, very silly, 3 year old.

She makes me laugh every day... especially when she says things like, "settle down, Momma, settle down" (hand gesture included) and when she sits on the toilet in these first days of successful potty training and picks up one of my women's magazines, flips through pages, throws it on the floor, then another, and another, until there are 4 magazines thrown on the floor. Then when I ask, "what are you doing?" Says, "I'm just reading a story."

So now I'm worried that she's read How to Drop a Dress Size in 2 Weeks. Then, to make matters worse, as we're innocently singing the lines from Finding Nemo, "they'll be no eating here tonight, no, no, no eating here tonight, you're on a DI-ET"... she only latches on to the last part, changes up the words, and sings, "I'm on a DI-ET" over and over again. So when social services comes to take me away for starving my child and/or inducing an eating disorder at the age of 3, please tell them it was Nemo's fault.

Target in Five

Ran in to Target today while hub waited in the car with the kid. It's 7 degrees out, so he tells me to hurry, he'll drive around while I shop.

Well, let's just say this, the moment I walk through the door at Target, some magic dust must get sprinkled over me, because I cannot just get what I need. But knowing I had to hurry, I start acting like I'm on one of those crazy shopping spree shows.

Valentines Day shirts on sale for $4 - grab two... jeans for hubby on sale, grab a pair... off to the milk, ooh, Valentines Day towels on sale, grab those, ok, oooh, cashews, need cashews, ok, milk, yep, got the milk, ooh, a super cute lion DVD cover for Lauren's movies, ok... diapers? no, can't carry them... but a toothbrush, Lauren needs a new tooth brush!! GRAB, oooh, cute new container of Clorox wipes, grab those... then, the SLOWEST. CASHIER. EVER. And I'm out the door. Now only if I hadn't had to pay for it all.

President Obama

What an amazing day, President Obama. I was very moved by his speech, the man can speak! I know Lauren is only 3 (almost) and she won't remember, but I am doing all I can to try to get her to understand. And what's the best way to do that? SING!! So I taught her this song:

Ow. Ow. Ow. I have a pain in my side. MUST be appendicitis, right? MUST be. Too high. Wrong side. Can't be due to sitting for about 14 hours out of this day. Can't be.

Yep, spent another day home with my little booger factory. Tried to work, but this morning, was wiping boogers ever 30 seconds. But then, finally, a 4 hour nap and yes, I sat through the whole thing, working. Then she was perfectly happy watching Tinkerbell AGAIN, so I sat and worked more...

Ow. Ow. Ow. Oh WebMD Symptom Checker... please tell me what's wrong with me. They want to know if the pain is made worse by alcohol. Hmm, didn't realize I should have been drinking to try to fix a pain in my side. Guess I'll try that next time.

Ok, not much luck. I think it's a sore kidney. From sitting. So as Hannah Montana might say, "YA THINK?"

Out, damned spot

Here's why I almost didn't blog tonight. Because I'm FREAKING ADDICTED to the Word Challenge game in Facebook. I can barely log in, then I see that little icon
and I can't. stop. myself.

"Just one game," I tell myself. I LIE. It's never just one. It's, "just one more," and then, "just one more over 15,000," then "just one more over 20,000." Forever on a quest to get better than the Shakespeare guy.

Next thing I know, I've missed the Daily Show and half of Colbert Report and, instead of being wound down and ready to call it a night, I'm all jazzed up and ready to run a marathon. Well, not really get up and run. Just sit there for another hour playing Word Challenge some more.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

Lauren takes on Mickey Rourke

Stayed home today with a very sick little Lauren, coughing like the Marlboro man and talking like Bea Arthur, boogers running off her face. At first she'd tell me, "Mommy, I have boogers" and let me wipe her nose, but she got tired of that and just started wiping her face on her jammy sleeve to get that nice layer of booger crust.

And watching lots of TV. Elf, Sleeping Beauty, Elf, Baby Einstein, Elf.

WARNING: if you don't like to watch the same movie over and over and over again (with a safe bet that it's not a movie in one of your favorite genres), don't have kids.

I want to express my sincerest thank you to the folks behind the kids movies that interject over-their-heads adult humor for those of us they know are stuck in repetition hell. I can handle most. Horton Hears a Who - NOT SO MUCH.

We were waiting for Daddy to get home from his golf vaca in sunny, warm florida - to come home to 1.5 sick chickies (I'm just half sick right now) and a dose of arctic air. Just before Daddy got home, Lauren had me paint her nails. Then before they were dry, she did the booger sleeve wipe, only to spread red nail polish on her nose, cheek, eyelid, and forehead. And it looked EXACTLY like bloody scratches. And it didn't wipe off. So here I am with my little one who looks like SHE was in the ring with Mickey Rourke. Daddy was going to freak.

So after trying to take some pics, I tried again to get it off... had success, kinda scratching it off. So other than a little bit of red, she looked like a porcelain faced doll when Daddy got home. A porcelain faced doll covered in boogers.

Oh Deer

Since my sleeping disorder is in full swing, thought it's be a good time to post.

It is going to be freaking freezing this week. 5 degrees on Thursday. That's crying-because-I'm-so-cold weather. Last night on my drive home, after quite the accumulation of snow, there was a deer walking down the middle of the road... not crossing the road, walking up it. I'm sure it's because he had no sense that there was a road, since it was covered in about 5" of snow.

I pass way too many dear on my routes to home - since I live in the almost-country burbs. Sometimes I pull over and yell at them, "get back into the freakin woods, you're going to get yourself killed!" Most of them listen and run, the other night, one just stood there, rather close to the road, and looked at me. Like, "hmmm, you're interesting but not scary." When I realized he wasn't going to run away, my bunnyhugger side took over and I tried to entice him over to my car with a cashew dropped from Lauren's latest bowl 'o snacks, but he didn't budge. Not even with my cutsie, high pitched voice, "c'mer... c'mere little deer". Bastard. Either run or humor me.

Anderson Cooper and the Great Puppy Debate

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Road to the Doghouse - Puppedential Debate

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Ok, this is one of the freakin funniest things ever. I LOVE The Daily Show!

Flight of the Conchords

Looking forward to the new season of Flight of the Conchords They made the premier available online early, I've watched most of it... but then my addiction to Word Challenge in Facebook... or my addiction to looking for coupons and online sales... kick in and I get drawn away.

I just adore their humor though and will watch on Sunday nights when my laptop is safely sleeping in it's sleeve.

Spit Spot

So it's 2009. I was a very bad blogger for most of '08... then, the first comment of the new year on my last post, from Prissy - "You should blog more often, I miss the daily bite of the daily bite!"... so with that motivation (thank you Prissy), here I am, trying to be a better blogger.

I will try not to be ALL about Lauren, but it's hard not to be when the little cracker jack just does funny stuff left and right... like strip the clothes off her Mary Poppins doll faster than you can say, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"

So this is what I come home to. Naked Mary Poppins dolly. And as Bridget Jones would say, "it's kind of pervy, really."