Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Missing Mom

Two years ago today was the worst day of my life. As most of you know, my Mom didn't survive the fifth surgery that started with what was supposed to be a "96% success rate" open heart surgery 3 weeks earlier.

It's not any easier, it's just that you focus on it less often (as if you had a choice to focus on it or not - if only it were that easy).

I still have alot of bitterness... the doctor made it sound like she was going in to get a tooth pulled - when she called to schedule her surgery, they joked, "we have an opening today, why don't you come on down". OH, that's just HILARIOUS... so she could have died a month earlier?

And how the doctors spun things... before the surgery, they made it seem like nothing to worry about, AFTER it was, "this was a very serious sugery" and "your Mother was a very sick person". Thanks, a little late to take that stance. You then always wonder if seriously understanding and weighing the risks might have changed things.

I'm also convinced that the ones that normally die are the old ones, like Rodney Dangerfield (God rest his soul), not the 56 yr olds.

I won't let the anger overpower my blog, I try to keep my blog light, but it's so hard without her. My Mom was the kind of person who made everyone around her feel special, she went out of her way to be generous or to make others laugh. There really aren't many people like that in life. I thank God she was my Mom.

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