Thursday, March 20, 2003

I'm not completely shallow or deluded. I realize that the world is in turmoil and here I am, talking about cosmetics and/or food. It is a coping technique.

Since Mom passed away, I have begun to indulge myself in things that seem to give me comfort - I think I deserve it... because I've been through the most devastating loss and need to get through it. At first, visiting Sherri and Mya was my main source of comfort. Then they moved to Syracuse and what was four days per week turned in to once a week if lucky (winter weather be damned). So I turned to smaller comforts, buying cute things... eating really yummy food (yummy=fattening)... staying up late... drinking lots of coffee... anything to make myself feel better...

and with all the other depressing things since - Punky dying, impending layoffs at work, Aaron getting called to duty, medical problems, stepdad off his rocker and with a new woman within 2 months of Mom's death, three of my closest friends getting laid off, Chuck's Dad in the hospital, and now WAR, I just can't focus on the bad stuff or I'll stop functioning altogether.

So for now, I am obsessed with seemingly shallow things. They're easier to think about.

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